


Love Me Or Leave Me

by iDarkEmpress



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accident, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, At first until Eren made a move, Eren got in an accident, Eren is a dense brat, Eren you're an idiot, Fluff, High School, M/M, One-Sided Crush, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), but Levi loves him anyway, erenxlevi - Freeform, ereri, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 82,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7346611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iDarkEmpress/pseuds/iDarkEmpress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi Ackerman fell in love with a certain turquoise-eyed brunet since the first time he laid his eyes. For a year, he's just loving him from afar. But one day, this brunet asked him if he could court his sister. What will happen to his unspoken feelings?</p><p>" It's funny how the ones who can make you happy are the ones who can also break you. It's fucking ironic, really."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What?!

**Levi's PoV**  
  
_Riiiiing..._  
  
When I heard the bell rang, I hurriedly stood up and picked up my bag. I strode out of the room, not bothering to apologize to the ones I bumped into as I get out. I just want to get out of this hellhole called school.  
  
I went to my locker and stuffed my things like books and such. I'm not going to need them this weekend. After I locked it up, I walked straight to the gate and made my way to my job.  
  
As I walked down the corridor, I saw a familiar mop of chocolate brown hair standing not too far from me. He's together with a certain blond whose hair is bowl-styled. Another addition to the group is a raven-haired girl whom I was very familiar with. Why wouldn't I? She's my younger sister. Only a person worse than a fucking idiot wouldn't recognize their own sibling.  
  
I just ignored them and continued to walk. That's until I heard someone called my name.  
  
"Levi!" I grunted and turned around to look at who called me. What surprised me though is when I saw that certain brunet waved at me as he walked towards my direction. There goes his smile. That fucking smile that I've grown to love.  
  
Grown to love silently, that is.  
  
"What is it, Yeager?" I maintained my voice to be monotone even when deep inside me, I can feel my stomach do flips. You fucking traitor.  
  
"I just want to ask if we're allowed to stay at your place later this evening? We planned to have a sleepover and we decided to do it on your house." He smiled at me as he voiced out his request. Sleepover? What are they? Fucking elementary schoolers?  
  
"Why does it have to be at our damn house? Do it at yours." Of course that's a lie. I already gave in to his request even before he said it. I just don't want to look THAT willing to let him stay. That's too much of a give away.  
  
"Aww, come on. Just say yes, okay? We're not going to do any mess if that's what you're worrying about." Damn this shitty brat and that pout of his. I clicked my tongue before I glared at him.  
  
"Tch, fine. But if I saw even a single drop of stain on any of the furnitures, I will-"  
  
"Amputate our head and shove it down our ass before kicking us to the next millenium," he paused and laughed, "I know, I know. Don't worry about that. See you later then, Levi." He winked and walked away, back to where Armin and Mikasa is standing. I just stared at him as he walked. Did he just winked at me?  
  
I felt my cheeks became a little warm and I quickly walked away. Shitty brat, making me feel like this.  
  
I hate it. I fucking hate it.  
  
I hate the way I feel about him. I hate the way he didn't even have a single fucking clue about what I feel. I hate the way how even the littlest things about him makes me fall for him more. Most importantly, I hate myself for letting myself fall for the brat. Hell, I don't even know if he's gay.  
  
I let out an exasperated groan before I focused myself on getting on the job. I can't let him distract me.  
  
After fifteen minutes of walking, I finally saw the café. After a few more walks, I opened the door and entered the establishment.  
  
I went straight to the employees room and settled my bag on the assigned locker. I grabbed my apron and the cap, the ones that are open on the top, then wore it before exiting the room.  
  
I silently walked to where the kitchen since I'm usually the one who makes the coffee.  
  
"Good afternoon, Sir Levi." An employee named Sasha greeted me as soon as she saw me. I grunted. I fucking hate it when they call me 'sir'. I'm just a year older than them.  
  
"What did I tell you about that calling me 'sir'? I'm just a year older than you. It makes me feel old. Just shut your damn mouth if you can't stop calling me that." I glared at her and she just lowered her head before muttering an apology. I sighed and went back to my business.  
  
"Hey there, Levi. Another issue about someone calling you 'sir'?"  
  
Ugh, another problem to deal with. Can't I be at peace even just for a damn moment? All of these are making me head ache.  
  
"Shut up, Shitty Glasses. I don't want to deal with you right now. Go take a shit or something. Just go away." They laughed and started to walk away from me. I sighed in relief but it was cut off when they turned back around.  
  
"What the fuck is it?" I glared at them. I just wanted to go home already.  
  
"I just thought that I should tell you that you that you can go home now. I'll take care of everything here." I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. They just laughed and threw an arm over my shoulder. "You look like you needed rest. You're becoming the epitome of stress." They ruffled my hair and I pushed them away.  
  
"Don't mess my hair up." I ran my fingers through my hair in attempt to fix it. "Thanks though, I needed a break. All those shitty teachers are being a bitch." I walked back to the employees room before removing my apron and cap. I took out my bag and decided leave the place.  
  
On my way out, Hanji sent me regards and I raised my hand in recognition. Our house is ten minutes away from the café if you're going to walk fast. And that's what I'm going to do.  
  
*--*--*--*--*  
Without knocking, I entered the house and removed my shoes before allowing myself inside. I looked around and got confused when I didn't saw the three of them. I just waved off the thought and went straight to my room. They're just somewhere inside the house.  
  
I placed my bag on a table and grabbed a large shirt and sweatpants. I felt my stomach grumble. Oh right, I didn't eat anything since last night. As soon as I finished changing, I walked downstairs and went to the kitchen.  
  
When I walked into the kitchen, I saw Eren sitting on a stool, drinking some water while scrolling down on his phone. He didn't noticed me and I didn't make any move to make myself known. I just went to the cupboard and grabbed the cereals, then to the fridge to get the milk and lastly I took out a bowl and spoon. I made my cereal then went to the counter. I placed my bowl on the top and the brat seemed to be startled since he let out a yelp.  
  
"Oh, Levi! I didn't noticed you." He smiled at me and placed his phone beside him.  
  
"It's fucking obvious." I rolled my eyes and sat down on a stool in front of him before I started eating.  
  
"Why are you eating cereals? It's already afternoon." I looked up from my bowl to him.  
  
"Is there any law that said that cereals aren't allowed to be eaten during afternoon?" He shook his head. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now mind your own business." He muttered a silent apology before looking down at the counter top.  
  
"And brat," he looked up and looked at me. "Such an absurd way of starting a conversation. Cereals, really?" He made a face and I just shook my head before chuckling. I looked down at my cereals again and ate it silently.  
  
"Wait, Levi." I raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"  
  
"Did you just laugh?" The look on his face is unexplainable. It's like he wanted to laugh but at the same time he got a look like he just saw a ghost.  
  
"Why? Aren't I allowed to laugh?" He laughed and shook his head before smiling brightly at me.  
  
"No, it's just that your laugh sounds beautiful. You should do it more often."  
  
I clicked my tongue before I looked down. I just felt my heart explode. My face suddenly became hotter and the my stomach is doing somersault. Damn it, Levi. Calm the fuck down.  
  
"I should be the one to say that to you." I looked up and saw a light pink tint on his cheeks. I smirked at his reaction. At least I'm not the only one who is affected by the words of the other. "By the way, where are Mikasa and Armin?"  
  
"Oh, they went to buy some foods." I just nodded and finished eating. I grabbed the bowl and went to the sink. I washed the plate and put it on the drainer and started to make my way to my room.  
  
"Where are you going?" He watched my every move. I felt it.  
  
"Hell. Wanna come?" He made a face again before huffing. He looked like a squirrel for a moment. I resisted the urge to laugh.  
  
Cute.  
  
"Ha,ha. Funny, Levi. But seriously. Where are you going?"  
  
"My room." I turned my back at him but he called me again. "What?" I made my tone sound like slightly irritated but in reality, I'm not. I actually love the way my name rolls out his tongue effortlessly.  
  
"Can I talk to you?"  
  
"What do you think we're currently doing, staring at each other? We're already talking." He rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Did I annoy him?  
  
"But I wanted a serious one, Levi. Please?" I sighed. When will I earn the strength to refuse him?  
  
"Okay then. What do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Take a seat first." With a sigh, I did just as he said. This is my chance to talk to the brat whom I have a crush on for almost a year. I'm not a fucking idiot to waste this rare chance.  
  
"Now what is it?" It took a moment of silence before he talked.  
  
"Is it okay if I court your sister?"  
  
Fuck it.


	2. You Dense Brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi got his heart broken by a certain turquoise eyed brunet.

**Levi's PoV**  
  
"Is it okay if I court your sister?"  
  
I stared at him with wide eyes. He wanted to court my sister? As in Mikasa?  
  
Fuck.  
  
I just looked at him. I just hope that my mask isn't cracking unlike my pathetic heart. A sharp pain continuosly assaulted this stupid fucking heart of mine. Out of all people, why does it have to be Mikasa? Why does it have to be my own fucking sister?  
  
"Uh, Levi? Wh-"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Huh? Are you-"  
  
"I said shut the fuck up!" I abruptly stood up and I saw him flinch because of my sudden actions. Who wouldn't be startled if someone suddenly shout at you?  
  
"Levi, I-"  
  
"What part of 'shut the fuck up' is too hard for you to not understand it?!" I closed my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I shouldn't let this fucking useless emotions of mine get the best of me. I took deep breaths to calm myself.  
  
"S-sorry, I didn't thought that you would be that angry. If you don't want to then I would respect your decision." I opened my eyes and looked at him. I saw him with his head held down which made me unable to see his face. Both of his hands are curled in a fist on top of the counter. He really wants to do it, huh? Damn it.  
  
"Do whatever the fuck you want. I don't fucking care." Lies. All lies. Of fucking course I care. Of course I give a damn. Out of all those times I hope for him to not have any interest in girls. Hah. Pathetic. All of those are simply pathetic. Here he is now, liking a particular girl, and that girl just needs to be my sister. Such a fan-fucking-tastic turn of the goddamn events.  
  
I just walked away from him. I don't want to see him now. I just want to forget everything about him. His smile, his eyes, his laugh, his voice. Every single damn thing about him.  
  
I closed the door with too much force that it turned into a slam. I walked to my bed and fell on it face first. I grabbed my pillow and screamed. Thanks fuck every room here is soundproof.  
  
After a few minutes of screaming, my throat is now sore and I think my voice is in the same bad condition.  
  
I sat up, deciding to call Hanji. Only them and Erwin knew about my damn feelings about the dense brat. I took my phone from my bag and dialed Hanji's number.  
  
"Hey, Shorty!"  
  
"Meet me later at the bar. The usual place. Don't you dare be late."  
  
"What's wrong? What happened to your voice?" I can sense the worry from Hanji's voice. Good to know that she's not as dumb as the brat that I knew. Hell, I don't even want to say his name anymore.  
  
"Just go to the damned bar, Shitty Glasses." I hung up without waiting their answer. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I don't even know if I can hold a good conversation.  
  
I sighed and decided to grab some water downstairs to soothe the soreness of my throat. Even though I don't want to see him, I can't stay here in my room. It'll make me look obvious. And that's what I don't want to happen right now.  
  
As soon as I reached the path which connects the living room and kitchen, I took a glance at the living room. The three of them huddled together on the sofa, watching TV. I ignored the lack of space between Mikasa and Eren and just continued to walk to the kitchen.  
  
When I finished drinking, I silently returned to my room. I glanced at the clock and saw that it's just fifteen minutes before five. There's still plenty of time since the usual time that I meet up with Hanji at that place is at eight in the evening. Maybe a nap can help me distract myself.  
  
And with that I allow the darkness swallow me, wishing -hoping- that this broken heart of mine will be healed when I wake up.  
  
*--*--*--*--*--*  
"Levi, where are you going?" I heard Mikasa's voice while I'm tying the laces of my shoes.  
  
"Somewhere. Don't wait for me." I made sure that I have my wallet and phone before I opened the door.  
  
"But-" I cut her off by slamming the door shut. I don't want to be rude to her but hell, this fucking teenage hormones are making my stupid feelings scatter all over.  
  
 _Damn this thing called jealousy, Levi._  
  
I just wish whoever made that feeling known to mankind die again. And again. And again.  
  
I hopped inside my car and pulled out of the driveway. On my way to the bar, my phone rang so I picked it up and saw Hanji's name.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is it okay if I bring Erwin, Farlan and Isabel with me, Short Stack?" In normal circumstances, I'm already yelling and threatening Hanji with the short jokes but I'm not in the mood for an argument.  
  
"Whatever, shit face. I know that they're already with you. Why bother asking?" A loud cackle burst from the speaker and I need to remove my phone from near my ear to prevent myself from losing my ability of hearing.  
  
"You're right! We're already here at the usual spot! See you here later!" They hung up. I sighed before placing my phone back to my pocket and focused on driving.  
  
After some minutes of driving in silence, I finally reached my destination. I showed an ID (a fake ID, that is. Who would allow a seventeen year old teen to enter a bar?) to the guard and it allowed me my entrance. As I set my foot on the bar, the strong smell of alcohol, sweat and cigarettes ran over my system. I made my way through the swarm of bodies, mentally thanking myself for wearing a jacket which means I won't be having contact with their germ infested bodies, and finally saw the spot we usually have whenever we get here.  
  
"Oh, Levi's here!" I heard Farlan's voice even through the loud music of the bar. They looked at me and smiled. Looks like I'm the only one that's here to be drunk because of heart break. Fucking emotions. Why do I have to have them?  
  
I sat down in between Hanji and Erwin on the circular table. They gave me a drink in which I immediately drank until the glass is empty.  
  
"Woah, looks like Levi here got a problem. What's wrong, Shorty?" I glared at her before I snatched the untouched drink on Erwin's hand and drank it up without a pause again.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." Erwin stood up and decided to get more drinks for all of us. He better. I want to drown myself in alcohol right now.  
  
"Big bro, what happened to your voice?" I looked at Isabel and saw confusion on her face. I just rolled my eyes and grabbed another drink.  
  
"It's nothing." She opened her mouth to speak but I glared at her. She shuts her mouth and didn't uttered any word. She knew better than to piss me off now.  
  
Hanji started rumbling about random things. I listened to her to distract myself from the thoughts of the brunet. I guess I'm doing it to keep myself sane. What he told and asked me totally blew my head off.  
  
Out of all the girls out there, why does it have to be my own sister? We're living on the same house, meaning that whenever he visits to see Mikasa, I'll also be seeing him. I wanted to avoid him. Fuck, I wanted to erase his existence from my life. How the hell will I do that if he's going for Mikasa? There will still be a very small connection between us.  
  
And most importantly, why did I allow myself to fall for that brat? I saw him as an overly-excited and stupid brat at first. And now, here I am, trying my best to drink my sorry ass off because of the rejection of my still unspoken feelings for the damn brat.  
  
How did that happen? I. Don't. Fucking. Know. He must've have this unknown powers to lure others to him.  
  
"Here's the alcohol." Erwin placed two buckets on the table. Hanji grabbed a bottle from one of the bucket but Erwin swatted it away.  
  
"Grab from the other one. That bucket is for Levi since it looks like he's going to drink himself into oblivion. That drink will be too much for you to handle." Hanji nodded and did just what Erwin told them.  
  
"Thanks, Erwin." My voice came out silently but Erwin seems to hear it since he nodded. I grabbed a bottle from the bucket full of hard drinks and started to drink again.  
  
As the liquid made its way through my throat, the burn it brought me is good. It's as if I can feel the pang on my chest get drowned as the alcohol took over me. I just drank and drank. I don't even know how much I already downed.  
  
"Hey Levi, slow down will you?" I heard Farlan's worried voice and I looked up. I glared at him before saying, "Mind your own fucking business."  
  
He raised both of his hands defensively and went back to drinking. Isabel's nudge on Farlan's side didn't slipped out from my eyes and I just rolled my eyes.  
  
"Levi," now it's Hanji's turn to call me. When will I ever get silence?  
  
Ha, of course I would never get that. First, I'm in a bar. Second, I'm together with my ever so noisy clique.  
  
"What?" Without looking at her, I responded, grabbing another bottle. I heard a sigh came out of Hanji's lips but I ignored it.  
  
"Want to talk about it?" The hand grabbing the bottle stopped in mid-air. Am I that easy to read?  
  
"There's nothing to talk about, Shitty Glasses." As I neared the bottle to my lips, I can feel Hanji's stare. They really are persistent, aren't they?  
  
"Tch, fine. Let's talk outside." I stood up and they followed my suit.  
  
"Where are you going?" Erwin noticed us and looked at us in confusion. He stood up to give us an exit, nevertheless.  
  
"Outside." My answer is curt, and I walked away without giving him another glance. Hanji hurried to be by my side, and now we're walking side by side.  
  
After we went past through the sweaty and germ infested bodies, we reached the outside of the bar. I went to where my car is and sat on the front of it.  
  
"I knew that there's something wrong here. Care to tell me now?" Normally, I would be weirded out by the seriousness in Hanji's voice but based on the situation now, I can't find a way to view it as ridiculous. With a sigh, I started opening to her.  
  
"You know Eren, right?"  
  
"That guy in our school who is a junior and the one you have a crush on?" Fuck, does she really need to answer in an elaborated manner?  
  
"Yes, that Eren."  
  
She cocked her eyebrow at me. "What about him?"  
  
"As you know, I do set my eye on him. And that's the cause of my problem now."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well that guy is now going to court my sister. My own fucking sister. So fucking great right?" I laughed a unhumored one and shook my head. I saw Hanji's face soften. Go on, pity me. I don't care now. I just looked up to avoid her gaze.  
  
"Levi, that's why you're like that." She sat beside me and also looked up. I sighed and they looked at me.  
  
"During the expanse of time that I liked him, I'm always wondering about the time that he'll confess to others. Wonder about who it'll be. Despite the pessimistic mind of mine, I knew that somewhere deep inside me, I'm hoping that I'll get a chance with him. And now that hope was crushed when he asked me directly if he can court my sister and fuck, that sure hurts." I laid my back on my car and pressed my forearm on my eyes.  
  
"Levi, I'm sorry-, wait, are you crying?" Crying? I lifted my other arm and touched the corner of my eye and felt the salty liquid. Tears are so peculiar for my eyes that it made it feel uncomfortable.  
  
I can't even remember when is the last time I cried and now, I'm crying just because of that shitty brat? Pathetic.  
  
Hanji shifted herself and pulled me into the hug. I stiffened because of the contact but it didn't last long as I let myself be enveloped by their warmth.  
  
How I wish that the person comforting me now is Eren. That I'm crying because of another reason, because of happiness. But all of these are the opposite. Life is fucking cruel.  
  
I placed my head on Hanji's shoulder as my tears silently rolled down. I don't want to crack completely so I just silently cried. They continued rubbing my back, whispering comforting words but none of it actually worked. The only one who can ease this pain is that brat. And I knew that that's simply impossible.  
  
He's the reason I'm feeling shitty. He's the reason why I want to be fucking wasted. He's the reason why I need to be comforted. But the worst is, he doesn't even know it.  
  
I want to laugh at how ridiculous my situation is. Liking him from afar for almost a year, admiring everything about him without him even knowing it. And now, I'm broken because of him and he's fully unaware.  
  
If I had confessed to him, will the situation be different than what it is now? Will I not be crying because if him?  
  
But if course, thinking about that is useless. It can't change anything. I just need to get over this pathetic situation of mine.  
  
Why did I even loved you, you dense brat.


	3. Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe he's brokenhearted or something? Maybe his girlfriend broke up with him? Isn't one of the most common cause of wanting to be wasted is break ups or rejection?" They both look at me like I said something weird. "What?"
> 
> "Levi is gay, Eren. It's impossible for him to have a break up with a girlfriend if he doesn't even have one in the first place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who left a kudos and bookmarked this book! I was glad to see that you guys are reading this. :) Anyways, it'll be Eren's POV for this chapter. Happy reading!

**Eren's PoV**  
  
When Levi suddenly shouted at me earlier, I was really shocked. Is he that opposed with the idea of me, courting his sister? Doesn't he want me for Mikasa? Maybe there's someone he liked for his sister and I'm getting in the way? The real reason? I don't have a clue.  
  
What makes me more confused is when he told me to 'do whatever the fuck I want' and that he 'don't fucking care'. If he doesn't, then why did he react so violently at first? I even thought that he's going to punch me. That thought honestly scared the shit out of me. Besides from being known as an excellent student academically, he's also known for beating the shit out of people who made fun of him even if they're much taller. So it only means that he can really pack a punch.  
  
Just in time when he left, Mikasa and Armin arrived. I smiled when I saw Mikasa and walked to them to help them with their baggage. We'll be sleeping here for two days and will go home at Sunday. I was really excited at first. It's been a long time since we last did this and it sure brings back memories. But after the event with Levi, I'm feeling quite nervous. He might force a pillow on my face later when I sleep and based on the look he got earlier- which is utterly terrifying - I don't doubt it if he will.  
  
"Hey Eren," I turned to look at Mikasa. Now that I saw her, I can't help but remember Levi. They looked the same. I shook my head to dismiss my thoughts. I shouldn't do that. I don't want to be afraid of her just because of her brother.  
  
"Are okay?" She looked worried. That just proves that she cares for me. That's a point, right?  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just... thinking."  
  
"Thinking about what?"  
  
"Nothing important." It's actually important. He's the brother of the girl I like. I need to have his approval given to me in a... nice way, I guess?  
  
"If that's what you say, by the way, is Levi here already?" She unpacked the groceries and sort it on its respective places.  
  
"Yeah, he came in here maybe half an hour ago? I'm not sure." She just nodded and I helped her with her chore.  
  
After sorting out the groceries, she took out some popcorn and placed it inside the microwave to pop.  
  
"Armin and I bought some movies. Let's go watch it now." She went to the living room and I followed her. As of now, her hair is kinda long, it reaches up to the middle of her back. It's very silky and fragrant; it's one of her aspects that I like the most.  
  
She turned the TV on and plugged the player before grabbing the remote and turning it on. She placed the movie inside the player and played it. Armin went to the kitchen, maybe to get some drinks. After a few minutes, he returned with a tray in hand containing three bottles of soda, and two bowls of popcorn. He placed it on the coffee table on the center before sitting on the right side of the couch. I sat on the middle part and Mikasa sat beside me after she finished the set up.  
  
We watched two movies, occasionally saying jokes and pointing out some flaws but of course, nothing is perfect. While watching Kingsmen, which is our second movie, I heard a sniffle after the scene where Galahad died. I turned to my left and saw the little blond coconut sniffling, eyes and nose are red probably from crying.  
  
"What on earth, Armin. That scene isn't that much of a tear tugger!" I laughed and watched as he turn to glare at me which is quite futile, considering that he looks like a child whose candy is taken away from them.  
  
"Shut up, Eren! I like Galahad and you shouldn't tell me not to cry! He just died! What will you expect from me!" My eyes widen with the blond coconut's outburst and I'm sure Mikasa too. The blond's always composed so a scene like this is a scene to behold.  
  
"Armin, you really should-"  
  
"Levi, where are you going?" I looked at where Mikasa's gaze is and saw Levi wearing a plain black v-neck topped with a black leather jacket, dark skinny jeans and boots. Maybe he has plans?  
  
"Somewhere. Don't wait for me." He opened the door and slammed it shut. We stared at the door for a few minutes.  
  
"What's wrong with him? Is he like that when he arrived?" I looked at Mikasa and saw that she's looking at me.  
  
"Uh no...?" I hesitated answering. He isn't like that before I asked him the question. Maybe I really pissed him off? No. Not just pissed off. Infuriated is the right word. I bet that he wants to throw me into an abyss.  
  
"He didn't usually act like that. What's gotten into him?" She murmured another set of words but I'm unable to sort them out. We just continued to watch the movie, forgetting about what had just happened.  
  
After the movie, we decided to prepare ourselves some dinner.  
  
"Hey 'Kasa, what are we going to make?" Armin asked as Mikasa searched for some ingredients.  
  
"Just a simple Mac 'n Cheese. Levi's usually the one who cooks so he cooks better than me." So Levi is their cook? Every time I eat here, I can honestly say that the food's always great, no bias. He usually eat by himself when I'm in here so I didn't actually had a chance to compliment  him. And besides, the food's so great that you won't have the mind to even ask who cooked it and just dig in to the food immediately.  
  
After using some of our time in preparing the dish, we actually finished it. The sight and scent alone made my stomach grumbled loudly. And by loud I mean really, really loud. You can mistaken it for a thunder. They looked at me and laughed, causing my face heat up in embarrassment.  
  
After we set out the plates, glasses and silverware, we sat down on the chairs surrounding the 4-seated table and started eating.  
  
"This tastes good." Armin smiled at Mikasa as he gave her his compliment.  
  
"It's a recipe that Levi always used, no wonder that it's good." Mikasa's voice has a hint of pride as she answered before she just continued eating and we did the same.  
  
After spending the dinner peacefully, we washed the plates and cleaned everything. We don't want Levi to have our heads because of it. Especially now.  
  
I shivered at the thought of what Levi will do if he finds the house to be less cleaner than his standards. I never saw Levi be that mad before except earlier and based on what I saw, I won't like it.  
  
When we finished cleaning, we went back to the living room and decided to play Call of Duty. It's a pretty cool game and up until now, I don't know anyone who can beat me in this game.  
  
Time passed quickly as we played, occasionally talking about random stuffs. I'm on the edge while playing so the sudden knock from the door surprised me, making me yelp.  
  
"I'm going to check who it is." Mikasa stood up and walked to the door. I paused the game as I watched her opened the door cautiously. As soon as she saw who it is, her eyes widen a bit.  
  
"Levi!" She moved out of the way, allowing the person to enter. My eyes widen when I saw Erwin carrying a very and I mean very wasted Levi on his arms. Mikasa closed the doors and lead Erwin inside. She looked very mad as she did.  
  
"Sorry for the disturbance. Levi's very drunk to drive for himself." He removed his shoes before he went further inside the house.  
  
"No, I should be the one apologizing. He's being a pain in the ass. Sorry for being an inconvenience." She sighed before she looked down at his brother, the look on her face softening as she stared at him.  
  
"Do you know what happened to him? He went to the bar earlier and drank too much. It looks like he got a big problem."  I watched as they walked through the living room.  
  
"No, I honestly have no idea about what's gotten into him. He's perfectly fine this morning." Mikasa sighed softly before turning to look at me. "Eren, can you do me a favor and search for some pain killers on the bathroom?" I nodded and she smiled at me softly before following Erwin.  
  
As I walked to their bathroom, my mind started to wander. Is he that opposed that he drunk himself that bad? Maybe there's something other than that. Maybe him and his girlfriend broke up? There's a lot of possibilities and it'll take a whole day to point all of those out. But it couldn't be possible that it's just about me courting Mikasa, right?  
  
After I found some Advil, I went to the kitchen to get some water. I went to Levi's room next. I knew where his room is but I never got the chance to enter it nor see it. Mikasa said that he's very protective over his quarters and doesn't allow almost anyone to enter it. Erwin must be really close to him for him to have the chance to enter his room.  
  
When I reached his bedroom door, I knocked before entering. I saw Levi laying on his bed while Erwin and Mikasa sat on the couch while talking.  
  
"Where should I place these?" Mikasa looked at me before answering. "Just place it on his nightstand. He will surely have the headache of the century tomorrow."  
  
I did what she told me and placed the pills and water on his nightstand. I took a moment to look at his face.  
  
He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. The constant frown is gone. His face is so relaxed that he actually look a little younger. He looks so peaceful, maybe near to an angel.  
  
"I really don't know why but Hanji told us earlier if we wanted to drink and we said yes. We're already there when he arrived and he immediately downed a bottle without pause. All of us were surprised and asked him what's wrong but he didn't replied and just told us to basically 'fuck off' to put it in his terms. Then he drank several bottles of hard drink and that's where he is now."  
  
"Maybe he's brokenhearted or something? Maybe his girlfriend broke up with him? Isn't one of the most common cause of wanting to be wasted is break ups or rejection?" They both look at me like I said something weird. "What?"  
  
"Levi is gay, Eren. It's impossible for him to have a break up with a girlfriend if he doesn't even have one in the first place." Mikasa informed me while chuckling. Wait. Levi is gay? That thought didn't even crossed my mind. He got all the girls in school drooling for him. Maybe that's why he didn't entertained them.  
  
"Yeah, Mikasa's right. And rejection? It must've been the other way around. Especially if it's a girl." Erwin shook his head, also chuckling.  
  
Mikasa stood up and grabbed some clothes out of Levi's closet. She then handed it to Erwin who stood up and walked near Levi.  
  
"Wait, you're going to change his clothes?" The both of them looked at me again. I really am embarrassing myself, didn't I?  
  
"Yes. We wouldn't want him to be enraged tomorrow because he didn't changed. You know how much of a clean freak he is." Mikasa said as she walked next to Levi's bed. Erwin started to remove Levi's jacket.  
  
"Who's going to dress him?"  
  
"Erwin."  
  
"Isn't that awkward for you, Erwin?" Erwin shook his head.  
  
"No. We've been bestfriends since we're little. Besides, we're both boys. There's no malice in it unless you put some." I just nodded and watched as they started  to undress him starting from his shirt which allowed us to see his 8-pack abs, then unbuckling his belt before removing his pants.  
  
They quickly dressed him with a shirt and a sweat pants before standing up and composing themselves. They tucked Levi under the blanket and he snuggled into it immediately.  
  
We left his room, me walking behind Mikasa and Erwin.  
  
"Thanks, Erwin. My brother's really lucky to have you." Really lucky to have you? Is there something going on between them?  
  
"Wait, if it is not rude to ask, is there anything going on between you and Levi?" Erwin sighed and shook his head.  
  
"I wish but no. He likes someone else." Oh, so Erwin has some feelings for Levi but Levi likes someone else. Interesting.  
  
"Thanks and sorry about that, Erwin." Mikasa opened the door for Erwin and he wore his shoes.  
  
"It's no problem. It's Levi after all. I'll do anything for him." They bid their good byes and we watched as Erwin left. Mikasa closed the door with a sigh and went back to the living room.  
  
"How's Levi?" Armin asked as we sat beside him.  
  
"Good, for now. He'll be having a massive head ache tomorrow." He just hummed at Mikasa's reply before returning his attention to the game. We also joined in, and we played for some more hours before deciding to call it a day.  
  
I wonder who Levi has taken a liking for.  
  



	4. Damn Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Levi," he called. I didn't answered so he just continued what he wanted to say. "Can I ask you why you got drunk last night? Is it about the question that I asked you?"
> 
> "No." There comes my curt answer. I don't want to talk about this shit now. Not now, not ever. I already told them my answer, didn't I?
> 
> "Then why-" I pushed him to the wall before I took a step closer to him. He looked down at me with fear and confusion in his eyes. Before, I wished that whenever I looked at that bright and beautiful eyes of his, I wished to his see love. Love for me, just like what I had and always do for him. But of course, that thing is only a dream.
> 
> So now, go on. Fear me. Maybe in that way, I can detach myself from you, you shitty brat.

**Levi's PoV**

 

I was woken up by the bright light shining down on my face. I opened my eyes just to close it again due to the blinding brightness. I slowly opened it again to adjust, before sitting up.  
  
"Fuck!" An unbelievably sharp pain rushed through my head as soon as I sat up. I groaned due to the pain. It feels like my head is being split in half. I turned to my nightstand and saw two pills of Advil and a glass of water. I downed it and laid down again. I really drank too much last night. And now this is the price I must pay. Fucking hangover.  
  
After half an hour, I stood up and went to my bathroom. I won't allow myself to lay on my bed longer without taking a bath. I went to a bar, and that place is fucking filthy.  
  
I started taking a shower without heating the water. I like cold showers, as well as other cold things including winter. It bring me some sort of odd comfort.  
  
I wrapped a towel around my waist after I showered and used another smaller one to dry my hair with. I brushed my teeth, gargled with mouthwash and flossed before leaving the bathroom.  
  
As I stepped outside, I saw a brat sitting on my bed while looking around. What the hell is this brat doing here?  
  
"Oi, who the fuck gave you the permission to enter my room?" The brat flinched and turned around to look at me with a nervous smile. His smile dissipated and his eyes widen when he saw me. I raised an eyebrow at his reaction until realization finally hit me.  
  
I am standing here in my room, half naked and I'm only wearing a towel. My eyes widen a bit but I forced myself to act naturally. I walked to my closet and I felt his eyes watching me.  
  
"Turn around, brat. I'm going to get dressed. Give me some fucking privacy, will you?" He turned around swiftly and I took the chance to dress myself.  
  
"Oi brat, what are you doing here in my room?" I asked after I finished wearing my boxers and sweatpants.  
  
"Mikasa told me to ask you if you can cook for breakfast. I called for you but you didn't answered so I just entered. Sorry." I walked to my bed while wearing my shirt and stopped when I'm beside him.  
  
"Oi..." He looked up and his eyes widen. What's his problem? As far as I can remember, I didn't do anything that hurt him. Hell, he's even the one who hurt me unconsciously.  
  
"S-sorry, I didn't mean to-"  
  
"Oi brat-"  
  
"I didn't want to intrude you I was-"  
  
"Eren, just-"  
  
"It'll never happen again I-"  
  
"Just shut the fuck up will you?" He stopped blabbering and looked down. "Sorry."  
  
"Whatever. Just don't enter without permission again next time." Next time? Ha, it's like I'm telling him that there will be a next time. Of course, there isn't. I already decided to stay away from him.  
  
I grabbed my phone on the nightstand before I walked to my door and went outside but when I looked back, he's not moving. Not even an inch.  
  
"Brat, what do you think you're doing?" He looked up and looked at me. "Do you want me to drag your ass out here or something?"  
  
He stood up and strode across the room. "Sorry." I just closed the door and he walked behind me. I'm very aware of the distance between us.  
  
I always like and want to be this near him but at the same time, I don't. I just tried my best to ignore it.  
  
"Levi," he called. I didn't answered so he just continued what he wanted to say. "Can I ask you why you got drunk last night? Is it about the question that I asked you?"  
  
"No." There comes my curt answer. I don't want to talk about this shit now. Not now, not ever. I already told them my answer, didn't I?  
  
"Then why-" I pushed him to the wall before I took a step closer to him. He looked down at me with fear and confusion in his eyes. Before, I wished that whenever I looked at that bright and beautiful eyes of his, I wished to his see love. Love for me, just like what I had and always do for him. But of course, that thing is only a dream.  
  
 _So now, go on. Fear me. Maybe in that way, I can detach myself from you, you shitty brat._  
  
"I already told you that you can do whatever fuck you want, right? You have your own mind, so as my sister. Both of you are old enough to make decisions for yourselves." I pulled him by his collar until I can stare at his eyes without looking up. "I have my own fucking problems to deal with so don't you dare think that I acted like that because of what you asked me. This shitty world doesn't revolve around the both of you." I pushed him away and his back landed on the wall. I turned around before I can even take a look at him because if I did, I may take pity and say sorry for what I had done. And that's the last thing that I wanted to happen.  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat, Eren. If you'll discover the reason why, you'll be fucked up. If you don't have any fucking idea, then it will be best if you shut your mouth. Keep your nose in your own damn business and stop trying to figure out mine." I walked away and went straight to the kitchen where Mikasa is currently cooking.  
  
"Good morning, Levi. Are you feeling well?" Wait. That voice.  
  
I looked around and saw my mother coming out from the bathroom.  
  
"Mom?" She smiled at me and opened her arms like she's calling me for a hug. I walked closer to her and wrapped my arms around her.  
  
"I missed you, Lee." She ran her fingers through my hair and I suddenly felt at ease. Only my mom can do that. It's like she has her own magic.  
  
She broke the hug and I stepped back. She smiled warmly at me.  
  
Mikasa and I looks like our Mom the only thing is, Mikasa didn't inherit her height and I did. Fucking genetics, making me this small.  
  
And now it looks like I'm really calling myself small. Ugh, what the fuck am I thinking?  
  
"Let's eat some breakfast now, shall we?" I nodded and we went to the kitchen. I saw Eren, Armin and Mikasa seated on their usual seats. Yes, the two brats have their own seats because since they're always here, my mother insisted that it would be great if they have their own seats. My mother is so generous, isn't she?  
  
I sat on my seat beside Mikasa and in front of Eren. I caught him staring at me so I raised my eyebrow at him and he just looked away. They chatted with my mom and I just remained silent.  
  
"So Levi, do you like anyone?" My eyebrow knitted together as I swallowed my food before answering.  
  
"No." I hate everyone.  
  
"Why not? Live your life and don't be a grump!" I rolled my eyes. Why is she so persistent about this?  
  
"I just don't. No other reason." I lied to her. What? Should I tell her 'Mom, I actually like someone and this someone happens to like my sister. So fucking great, isn't it?'? There's no fucking way in hell I'm going to say that.  
  
"How about you, Eren?" I almost choked. Why is she asking him?  
  
"Uhm, I-" Just before Eren can actually give an understandable answer, my phone rang. Saved by the bell, huh? I sighed and picked it up before excusing myself.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Levi!" How can someone be this energetic in the morning?  
  
"What now, Shitty Glasses?"  
  
"Can we come over? We're so bored and we don't have anything to do!"  
  
"What makes you think that I care?"  
  
"You love us, that's why!"  
  
"Whatever. Who's the other?"  
  
"Erwin!"  
  
"Will you stop shouting? You're worsening my head ache." Now that I had a break from what happened earlier, my head still feels like splitting.  
  
"Aww, is little Levi having a terrible hangover?"  
  
"Shut the fuck up, shit face. Just come if you're coming over." I ended the call and not even a minute later, the doorbell rang. Seriously? That fast? Did they fucking teleport or something?  
  
I walked to the door and opened it revealing the crazy thing and Erwin.  
  
"Let me guess, you're already there when you called, right?" I moved to the side and allowed them to enter.  
  
"Hanji's too excited that they forgot to call you. I told them to call you but we're already outside." I nodded and lead them to the living room. They sat on the couch and I went to the kitchen.  
  
"Hanji and Erwin are here." My mom looked up before she stood up and prepare two plates. Told you that my mother is fucking generous.  
  
She placed some waffles and bacon on the plates before pouring some coffee for the both if them. She placed it on a tray and gave it to me. I thanked her before I went to the living room. I placed the food on the table and they muttered their appreciation.  
  
"One small mess and I'll kill you." I went back to the kitchen to return the tray and took my plate before moving back to the living room.  
  
"Ms. Ackerman, it's nice to see you." They stood up and went to greet my mother.  
  
"It's nice to see the both of you too. How's life?"  
  
"Everything's fine. School is stressing us out but it's okay." Erwin is the one who answered ans Hanji just nodded in approval.  
  
"How is my little Levi doing?" I turned to look at her with a glare. She just laughed and ignored the looks I gave her. I love my mom but sometimes she's a pain in the ass. Just like what she is right now.  
  
"Oh, he's doing fine. Nothing worth worrying about." She just hummed a happy tune before they started talking. She's very communicative so she's also very closed to our friends.  
  
As they talked, I zoned out. My mind wander around and I didn't noticed that they're calling me.  
  
"Levi," I looked up and saw them wearing worried looks. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, just thinking." My mother nodded and left us to our own devices. I listened to Erwin and Hanji talked, sometimes also giving my own opinions but not enough for me to be actually considered engaged in the conversation.  
  
After we ate, we picked up the dishes and put in on the sink. "I'll clean this up."  
  
Mom looked at me. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah." She thanked me and left me. I started washing the plates when I suddenly felt someone's presence behind me.  
  
"Levi..." It's Erwin's voice. What does he want?  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hanji told me about what happened." I stopped with what I'm doing and looked up at him.  
  
"They told you?"  
  
"Yes, and I want to tell you something." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "What is it?"  
  
"I like you Levi, I really do. I've been hiding it for years especially when you told us that you like someone. But now, I won't hide it. So now Levi, can I court you?"  
  
 _Wait, what?_ **  
  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been days since I last updated. Sorry, I'm just busy for the past few days. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. :)


	5. Can it get any worse?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I released my breath that I unconsciously held in relief. But all of those relief disappeared when I heard what Pixie said next. "Wait, you're siblings, right? That won't do. You need to spend time with those you didn't know well. That's it then. Ackerman, you'll be paired with Erwin and Gayger-" Eren's grunt cut him off.
> 
> "It's Yeager, not Gayger."
> 
> "Then Yeager, you'll be paired with Levi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, thank you for those who read this! I hope that you're enjoying this, and thank you for those who subscribed, commented and left a kudos! And let the chapter begin...

**Levi's PoV**

  
  
"I like you Levi, I really do. I've been hiding it for years especially when you told us that you like someone. But now, I won't hide it. So now Levi, can I court you?"  
  
I stared at Erwin for a moment. My mind went blank, and it seems like it won't break out of its trance for a moment. What does he even said? Court me? Me?  
  
I don't know how to react. I've been unawarely rejected yesterday, got my ass drunk last night, had a shitty conversation with the brat earlier, and now, he wanted to court me? What the fuck is even happening in my life?  
  
Yes, I want to forget about the brat. Yes, I need some distractions. But is it okay if I'll use Erwin's said 'feelings' to my own advantage? Is it okay if I'll use him, my bestfriend, to forget? Of course it's not fucking right and never will be.  
  
But as I look at the brat, a big smile and loving look on his eyes as he talks to my sister, seems like my fucking logic malfunctioned and all of it suddenly became right.  
  
With a blank look on my face, I looked up at Erwin's hopeful look with an equally blank eyes.  
  
"Yes."  
  
He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug as I stand there, hands hanging beside me, eyes closed and mind fuzzing.  
  
I just hope that I made the decision that I will regret the least.  
  
———————————  
  
The weekend went by fast and boring and another week will be spent inside the hellhole called 'school'.  
  
I got up from the comfort of my bed, tidied it, before grabbing my towel and went to the bathroom. I bathe myself with the usual cold shower I always get. As I stood there beneath the showerhead, I let my mind wander.  
  
What will happen from now on? Will something change? Can I really get over this pathetic thing I have for the brat?  
  
Of course, I can. I had lived my first sixteen years without him, and I know that removing him for the next years to come wouldn't be that hard.  
  
You're fooling yourself. You know he got you pulled to him so deep.  
  
No matter how deep it is, I'll make sure that I'll get myself from it. I'll fucking make sure. I'm not that much of a fool to let myself get drowned if I know that there's nothing there for me to have.  
  
I sighed and went out of the shower. After I got myself dressed, I went to take my phone from the nightstand and went to the kitchen. I unlocked my phone and checked if there's any notifications. I'm not much of a social guy, so seeing that there's nothing new didn't really shocked me.  
  
I locked it again and focused on having my breakfast. When I reached the kitchen, I saw Mikasa and Mom already sitting on their seat with the breakfast laid on the table.  
  
"Good morning, Levi. Come and eat now or you'll be late."  
  
I rolled my eyes at what Mom said. "Mom, there's still an hour before school starts."  
  
I sat down on my seat before I started to eat. My mom stood up and prepared me some tea before she gave it me then returned to her seat.  
  
While I ate, my phone rang so I took it out of my pocket and unlocked it. I saw a message so I opened it.  
  
Eyebrows: Good morning, Levi. See you at school.  
  
"Oohh, so it's true?" I jumped at my seat when I heard my mother's voice behind me. When did she get there? And what's 'true'?  
  
"What are you talking about?" I frowned at her while she gave me a knowing look before she went to her seat. I sent Erwin a quick text of 'whatever' before locking it and returned it to my pocket.  
  
"Well, Hanji came over here yesterday while you were isolated in your own room and she said something really interesting." She grinned at me and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. What is she talking about?  
  
I raised an eyebrow at her and she gave me a look. "Come on, Lee. You can't hide it from me, you know." She giggled and took a sip from her tea. I looked at Mikasa and she just shrugged.  
  
I continued to look at Mom and she rolled her eyes at my cluelessness. "Hanji told me that Erwin likes you and is making a move now." My eyes widen and I choked even without food inside my mouth.  
  
Fucking Hanji. I'll fucking kill them. Why did they tell her? I'm finding the 'right' time to tell her but they took the fucking first step. I didn't want to tell her for now until I'm sure that I made the right choice but Shitty Glasses ruined it. They fucking ruined it. I'm going to skin them alive and drown them in acid.  
  
Mikasa's cutlery dropped on her plate which made me snap out of my trance. I looked at her and her eyes is a bit wider than usual. What's with her?  
  
"So is it true?" I looked at Mom before sighing. "Yes."  
  
She grinned at me and clapped her hands. "My little Levi is growing up!" I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm. Why is she this happy? She's even happier than me.  
  
"I don't know if I'll say yes though." I heard Mikasa sighed and I looked at her again. She stared back. "Why?"  
  
I just shook my head. "Nothing."  
  
We continued eating and let's just say that, my mother didn't leave me alone.  
  
*--*--*--*--*--*  
  
"Good morning, Shorty!"  
  
I looked to my right and saw Hanji running towards my direction. Good. I don't need to search for them.  
  
"I'll fucking kill you!" They stopped running and I took the opportunity to run towards them. They started to realize that I'm directing what I said to them and they started running. Before they can even run, I grabbed them by the hair and pulled them towards me.  
  
"Why did you fucking tell her?!" I held them on top of their head by the hair.  
  
"I just thought that she would like to know about it!"  
  
"But you're not the one responsible to do that!"  
  
"If I'm going to wait for the time you'll tell her, it'll take too long!"  
  
"I'll fucking kill you!" I moved my forearm to their neck and choked them.  
  
"Hey Le- wait, what's going on in here?" Erwin suddenly came out of nowhere and looked at us confusedly.  
  
"Er-Erwin, help me! H-he's going to k-kill me!" Erwin walked closer to us and held my shoulder.  
  
"Calm down, Levi." I clicked my tongue and released Hanji who immediately gasped for air. I removed Erwin's hand from my shoulder and hurriedly walked away. I ignored their calls and just went to my class.  
  
I sat down on my chair as soon as I reached the room. Unfortunately, Hanji is seated in front of me while Erwin is seated on my right side. I sighed when I saw them walked in.  
  
"I'm sorry, Levi. I just got too excited." I ignored Hanji and just continued to look outside. I heard them sighed and sat on their seat. Erwin, on the other hand, decided to bug me. He poked my side once but I didn't looked. He poked me again but I didn't budged. He continued his annoying antics until I decided that I've fucking had enough.  
  
"What?!" My voice came out louder than I intended and other students looked at me. "What the fuck are you looking at? Want me to gouge out your eyes from their sockets?"  
  
They hurriedly looked away and I returned my attention to Erwin. I took a deep breath before I spoke.  
  
"Sorry. I'm not in the mood to engage in any conversation right now."  
  
"It's okay." And just in time, our teacher entered the room with a bowl full of pieces of paper. What is that for?  
  
"Good morning, class." The teacher, who is also called Mr. Pixis, greeted us in a way that is unusually bright. The last time he did that, it was in junior year, he told us that we needed to choose a song and sing it in front of his other students.  
  
I thought that I could never hear properly again when it was finished.  
  
"Today, we'll do something that will help you socialize with the juniors. It will be great if the seniors and juniors have a great relationship, right?" Whispers started to grow inside the room. Why can't he just tell us what he wanted? He's running in fucking circles.  
  
"That's why I organized this. You see this bowl here?" Idiot. What does he think about what we use our fucking eyes for? To smell? "This bowl here contains your names and the juniors will enter here by group, each will pick one paper, and whoever they pick will be their partner. You're going to help them when it comes to this subject and after two months, I'm requiring you to perform a song; a duet to show your progress."  
  
Again? We're going to sing again and this time, with a brat? Can it get any worse?  
  
Pixie (Yes, I call him that. Why the fuck not?) started calling out names. Plenty of students already have their partners and Hanji, Erwin, and I still didn't have one. I just stared outside. This is too boring.  
  
"Ackerman." Wait. Did he say Ackerman?  
  
I looked at the door and saw a familiar raven haired girl entered the room. Shit. Mikasa's here. It only means that...  
  
"Arlert." Fuck, fuck, fuck.  
  
"Blouse." Shit. I hope I'm wrong.  
  
"Braun." This fucking anxiety is killing me.  
  
"Leonhart." Ugh, why does it have to be this long?  
  
"Gayger." I snorted. Gayger? That's supposed to be Yeager. Wait. What the fuck.  
  
I watched them entered the room and Pixie scanned his list before he put it down. I sighed in relief. I didn't saw the brat so I guess he's not in the same class. Maybe it's just a mistake.  
  
"Okay, everything is now settled-" Pixie started speaking but someone cuts him off.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
All of the people inside the room turned to look at the door and my eyes widen. Fucking shit.  
  
"S-sorry. I'm late." The turquoise-eyed brat entered panting, his bag slung on his right shoulder, hair's a mess more than usual and clothes crumpled due to excessive movement. He sure looks hot.  
  
 _Oh, there you are Levi. I told you that he's got you deep._  
  
Shut the fuck up, mind. You're not helping. Instead of pushing me like that towards the edge, can you just fucking help me detach myself from the shitty brat?  
  
The said brat entered the room and I felt the hope inside of me crumbled and turned to dust. This said dust was blown away by the strong wind that came, leaving me completely helpless.  
  
 _Thanks, fate. You're such a great help. I fucking appreciate it. I hope you burn in hell._  
  
He looked around and I saw how his wide eyes widen even more (I thought that it's going to fall out if his socket) when his eyes landed on me. I just looked at him nonchalantly, and after a few seconds of staring, he looked away.  
  
I felt my heart clenched but I ignored it.  
  
He walked to the center and they started to pick from the bowl. I don't want to be paired with him. Anyone but him.  
  
They started to reveal who got who.  
  
First is the blonde female with a bored look on her face. She showed the paper to Pixie. "Petra." Petra raised her hand and the girl walked to her. She introduced herself and gave her a smile but she got nothing but a few words and a nod.  
  
 _Ha, good luck with her, Petra._  
  
The process continued and I felt my anxiety started to build up as it went on.  
  
The brunette girl in a ponytail got a girl named Mina as her partner, the buff blonde guy got Erd, the little coconut- also known as Armin, Mikasa's friend - got Hanji as his partner, and now, the only ones left are Mikasa and the brat.  
  
Shit. I hope it's Mikasa.  
  
Despite the turmoil I'm experiencing inside, my face still look bored. My heart's lurching, it's like it wanted to get out of my ribcage as I watch Mikasa hand her piece of paper to Pixie. Time suddenly became slower as my thoughts started to be in disarray. But out of all the thoughts, two questions stood out.  
  
 _How the hell am I going to distance myself from the brat if we're going to be partners? How will that even fucking work?_  
  
I looked intensely at Pixie as he called Mikasa's partner. "Levi."  
  
I released my breath that I unconsciously held in relief. But all of those relief disappeared when I heard what Pixie said next. "Wait, you're siblings, right? That won't do. You need to spend time with those you didn't know well. That's it then. Ackerman, you'll be paired with Erwin and Gayger-" Eren's grunt cut him off.  
  
"It's Yeager, not Gayger."  
  
 _"_ Then _Yeager_ , you'll be paired with Levi."  
  
My eyes widen and I turned to look at the brat only to find him looking back at me, wearing the same expression as I did.  
  
Pixie started to talk again but my mind blocked it all out. Earlier, I asked if it can get any worse. Now, the damn question is answered.  
  
It can. It fucking can.  
  
Fuck my life.  
  



	6. How Can I Ever Unlove You, Brat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My eyes met his, and he surprisingly held his stare despite being caught. I watched as his lips lifted into a small but genuine smile, lifted his hand to give me a small wave as he mouthed the words 'Hello, Levi'.
> 
> These simple gestures triggered the rumble of butterflies in my stomach and the fastening beat of my heart. Only him can make me feel like this and despite how broken my heart's condition is, I think that he's the only one who can fix it without trouble.
> 
> How can I ever unlove you, brat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 6. I hope that you'll enjoy it!

**Levi's PoV**

After Pixie told us a few instructions, he left us to our own accord for us to 'get to know' our partner. I already knew the brat so damn well, including how he acts when he's nervous. Just like what he's doing right now. He's fidgety as he stands beside my seat. He opened his mouth and closed it again since he can't find anything to say.

"Stop being so damn fidgety and calm the fuck down, Eren. Do you need to talk a shit? 'Cause by the way you act, it seems like you really need to use a bathroom."

"Hey, I'm not!" I looked at his face and his cheeks are tainted a slight pink from his embarrassment. I rolled my eyes at him. He huffed and crossed his arms. With the little distance between us, I didn't fail to notice how good he smells.

_Stop that, Levi._

Hanji and Erwin are watching me as I talk to Eren. They knew about what happened so them acting like this isn't surprising.

"I know that you're uncomfortable with me. So am I, but we needed to pull through this shit for us to pass this subject. I don't want to fail this class because of this 'partner' shit that our equally shitty teacher put us in." I looked at him and saw him looking at me. My heart beats a bit faster when I got to look at his beautiful turquoise orbs but I calmed myself down. I can't let myself be a blushing mess in front of him. Yes, I already told myself to get over with my hopeless feeling for the shitty brat but as of now, I'm still in love with him so it's only natural to feel this way. It's his eyes that captured me to him anyway.

"Look, as I can tell, you're pretty uncomfortable with me. I can understand that. I will talk to that Pixie later-"

"Wait, Pixie? You call Mr. Pixis as 'Pixie'?" He looked at me with an amused look on his face.

"Yes, I fucking do. You heard it, right? Got a problem with that?"

"No. I just find it funny."

"Tch, whatever. As I was saying, I'm going to ask Pixie if you can switch partners. Just don't hope too much that it'll happen."

"You don't have to do that it's-"

"I'm going to do it whether you like it or not. I'll just tell Mikasa his answer later." He just stayed silent and nodded before he looked down. He looks a bit... disappointed?

Maybe I'm just imagining things. There's no reason for him to be disappointed.

"I'm going to leave now then. I'm not going to waste my time here doing nothing." I stood up and went to my usual spot that I go to whenever I don't feel like attending classes; in an isolated part behind the school building, where a bench is placed under a big tree. That is where I get solitude, away from the annoying people.

Hanji and Erwin knew about this place so it's not surprising to see Hanji not too far from my place.

"How did it go?" They sat beside me and shifted themselves to face my direction.

"Fine."

"Fine? Just 'fine'?"

"Yeah, however, I told him that I'll talk to Pixie later to ask him if he can switch partner since he's very uncomfortable with me." I leaned back and got myself in a slouching position.

"You really care for him, huh?"

"Actually, it's also for my own good. I need to stay from him as much as possible." I heard them hummed in agreement and we stayed silent.

"Where's Erwin?"

"While we're walking earlier to get here he was called by one of his teacher." I just nodded even though I know that they can't see me

"Can I ask you a question, Levi?" I stayed silent and they continued. "Does Erwin have a chance on you?"

I was taken aback by their question. Does he has a chance on me?

"I don't know. I mean, he's still not making that much of an effort since it's only been a few days. I really don't know, Hanji."

"Levi, you know I care for you but I also care for Erwin. So please, don't make him hope too much. As soon as you know the answer and he doesn't have a chance, tell him. Both of you are important to me and I don't want our friendship be ruined by this."

"I will."

"Okay then. Let's go talk to that teacher you call Pixie later."

*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*

"Mr. Pixis, can we have a moment to talk with you?" Hanji started the conversation. I don't want to do this, but being partner with the brat is more of a problem than asking for this Pixie teacher's approval for what we had in mind.

Pixie looked up from his paperwork and gave us his usual creepy smile. The fuck is wrong with this man? "Ah, both of my best students came here to see me, who am I to decline?" Does he really need to fucking answer that long? A yes or no would be just enough.

"Thanks Mr. Pi-"

"We'll just ask straight to the point and cut the chase," I cut Hanji off and Pixie turned his gaze to look at me. "I don't want to be partners with the brat- I mean, with that Yeager kid."

His expression turned into a confused one since he frowned and gave at me a questioning look. "Why? That kid is a good kid. I can't see any problem that the kid can cause you."

_You don't have any fucking clue about how much big of a problem that kid is to me._

"Well, Pixie-" Hanji nudged me and I looked at them only to see them with a warning glance. Oh right. The man is still a teacher in this hellhole.

"Mr. Pixis, you see, I have a somewhat big problem with the brat and I am avoiding him to stay away from conflicts," _and hurt,_ "and I am hoping to ask you if I could switch partners with Hanji." I'm hoping for a positive response from the Pixie teacher. I don't really have any fucking idea on how this shit will turn out if that brat is going to be my partner. I can work with it if it's any other brat but if it's Eren, I don't think that it will be a good idea. How will I fucking avoid him if he's required to be with me for a few hours in a whole damn year?

"Mr. Pixis if you're thinking about my approval about the subject, I'm very willing to do it. I would be glad to work with Eren, he's a good kid and an interesting one." Hanji knew everything about what I feel for the brat and witnessed it first hand since day one. They would always fangirl about it, thinking about how cute and adorable it will be if we'll actually become a couple but after what happened a few days ago, they stopped thinking about it. They thought that it's such a waste to get over and forget about how much of a perfect couple we would be, but thinking about how much shit it brought me considering that I was unawarely rejected because of my sister, they stopped and just supported me instead.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid that I can't do that." My hope was once again crushed as his decision revealed itself. Why the fuck not? Why is my life and fate so fucking cruel? "It would be unfair to the other students who were also assigned to the ones they didn't like. As I said, it is good if you can create a good relationship with them. You can use this opportunity to make amends with your problem with him."

"I can't! If I can then I wouldn't had have to talk to you about this!" I slammed my fist on his desk to release my frustrations. Fuck, this isn't good. Hanji placed their hand on my shoulder as an attempt to calm me.

"I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it." I let out an exasperated grunt.

"You know what? Fuck this shitty program of yours." I sent him a glare before I strode out of the room. Fuck his shitty program, fuck his decision, fuck him. I want to kill someone now.

Maybe I'll just kill Pixie and turn him into a dust. Then he will be Pixie dust.

That's so fucking amazing. Oh, the sarcasm.

I made my way to the cafeteria with Hanji right behind my tracks. They walked faster to meet my pace. "You know, for a guy your height, you sure walk pretty fast."

"Fuck you, Shitty Glasses. You're just too slow for your own good." I continued to walk with my fast pace until I reached the cafeteria. I saw Erwin sitting with the others at the usual place and table so I walked to them. I silently sat down and Hanji did the same.

They are currently talking about some shitty topics and I blocked them out. Although one word successfully broke its way to my mind and the fucking word just needs to be the goddamn word 'partner'.

As I continued to fume, my eyes looked straight ahead but seems like my shitty luck is already gone a long time ago. What I saw when I looked straight is the brat together with my sister and his clique, my sister and him talking about God-knows-what while he is laughing while a small smile is painted on Mikasa's lips. I also saw the same emotion in his eyes, the same fucking emotion his eyes always hold whenever he looks at Mikasa.

_Love._

The same thing that I wished to experience for so long. I long wished for him to look at me with the same eyes; for him to look at me with eyes full of love and adoration. I am just very unfortunate for such privilege to be fucking taken away from my grasp.

Whenever he's with me, I can sense his lack of comfort. Whenever he looks at me, all I can see is fear and intimidation for me. Whenever I talk to him, he's stuttering. Am I that fucking scary for him to act like that around me?

Maybe this is my karma for being an asshole to almost everyone. It's my personality and I can't change anything and even if I can't, I won't. I won't change myself just to have them like me. I'm not a crowd pleaser and never will be. I live by my own beliefs and do what seems to be right for me.

That is, until I met the brat a year ago.

Since then, I want him to like me. I'm not an attention seeker but I want him to look at me and me only. I hate it when he talks to others but damn, I can't do anything about it. I am not entitled any form of rights over him and for him, I'm just his friend's brother. A friend who he has taken a liking to.

Saying that it hurts is a fucking understatement. It feels like my pathetic heart is being ripped out, torn and burned into ashes. Fixing it is hopeless, really, but I try to do it anyways. But every time I try to fix it, the brat will always come along and cause damage to it even more. It makes me feel very defeated, a thing only he can do to me.

I don't know how he can do that. I don't know _why_ I let him do that, but in the end it's still my fault. Not his, not my sister's; it's mine. It's not his fault if he doesn't prefer guys over girls. It's my fault that I fell for him deep, and now I should be the one to get myself out of the shitty trouble I got myself into.

Erwin said that he wanted to help me. The only thing is, how can he help me if even me myself don't know how to start? My pathetic heart is so far from broken that I don't fucking know how I can fix it and where to start.

"Levi, are you okay?" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Erwin. He had placed his hand on my back as he looked at me with a worried expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He reluctantly removed his hand on my back. I looked at Eren's direction and caught him staring at me. My eyes met his, and he surprisingly held his stare despite being caught. I watched as his lips lifted into a small but genuine smile, lifted his hand to give me a small wave as he mouthed the words 'Hello, Levi'.

These simple gestures triggered the rumble of butterflies in my stomach and the fastening beat of my heart. Only him can make me feel like this and despite how broken my heart's condition is, I think that he's the only one who can fix it without trouble.

How can I ever unlove you, brat?

 


	7. What Are You Doing To Me, Levi?

 The day has come. The day I've been having mixed feelings about.  
      
Later, I'm going to Levi's to study with him for my incoming test. It's about some famous musical composers. The test is simple and easy— that is if you listened and listed down notes. But in my case, it will be hard. I didn't listened nor took any notes. I couldn't focus even though I wanted to. For the whole week, I just stared at nothing; it's like I'm in a void. I don't know what's happening to me but ever since I saw Levi stared at me when we were in the cafeteria, it didn't leave my mind.  
  
When my eyes met his, his eyes looked blank. Void of any emotions. It's always like that but it seems to become more blank in these past few days. He only took glances and avoid my gaze, he talks to me in a very curt way, he always keep distance to me like if he got a little bit closer something bad will happen.  
  
I don't know what happened, what made him change his ways. The thing is, he's only acting like that to me. He acted normally around the others— he glares and the frown on his face is there, his rude remarks, his vocabulary, his shit jokes, all of it. It didn't change. But with me, he barely talks. He would nod or shake his head, sometimes he would even suddenly snap. I don't have any idea why, but I will surely unravel the answer.

I looked at the clock and noticed that it's already past twelve in the afternoon and I'm still laying on my bed. I don't want to get up but I have to go to Levi's an hour later. I think it's okay, Mikasa will be there. Erwin also.  
  
I just discovered two days ago that Levi and Erwin are dating. It kinda surprised me, honestly. It's not that I have anything against Erwin— he's a good guy and there's nothing to argue about that. It's just that, Erwin said that Friday night (or is it already Saturday?) that Levi likes somebody else and now they're dating. Is it that easy to forget about someone you like?  
  
I sighed and decided that it's already time to get my lazy ass off of my bed. I just grabbed my towel and went to my bathroom. After I undressed, I started bathing myself.  
  
About me courting Mikasa, I still haven't asked her about it. I was thinking about too many things like what if she rejected me? What if she likes someone else? It's not that I'm scared to be rejected— everybody experience that throughout their lifetime— I'm just scared that it might leave a crack between our friendship.  
  
After I finished showering, I left the bathroom and went to get some clothes. I just wore a forest green hoodie, dark skinny jeans and decided to wear my black Vans. I then left my room to go downstairs to get some food in the kitchen.

Finding out that there's nothing much left to choose from, I just grabbed the cereal and milk to eat.  
  
While eating, I remembered the conversation that I had with Levi. When I ask him why he's eating cereals even though it's already afternoon and here I am now, doing to the same thing he did.  
  
Now that I think about it, that's the last time I had a full conversation with Levi. I also remembered the look he gave me when I asked him the reason why he get drunk that night. His looks are so cold and deadly while his voice was dripping with venom. He's so dangerous that time and there was no way in hell that I'm not going to feel scared but when I had the chance to look in his eyes, I saw a flurry of emotions. Sadness, confusion, and rage are what I saw first but I saw a much more hidden emotion that I think he didn't want to show anyone. Hurt and pain. He looks at me full of pain and hurt. I guess that the guy he likes really broke his heart.  
  
I want to know who that person is. Who made Levi, the Levi Ackerman wanted to get wasted because of heart break. Even though I'm dying to know who that is, I don't have any ways to figure out who that person is. I can't just go to him and ask him, "Hey Levi, who is the guy that you like who made you wanted to get wasted?" I have my life ahead of me. I don't have a death wish.  
  
While eating, the phone that I placed inside my pocket rang. I picked it up and saw that Mikasa texted me. I opened the message.  
  
 _ **Mikasa** : Just reminding you that you should come in time. Levi is very pissed off by people who can't come in time._

I looked at the time and saw that there's only twenty minutes left until the said time. I hurriedly placed my bowl in the sink and brushed my teeth before I took my bag with my stuffs in it. There's only fifteen minutes left and I need at least fifteen minutes to get to their house. If I run, I can make it to their house in ten minutes. Guess that I don't have any choice but to run.  
  
I locked the door as I stepped outside the house. I ran through our neighborhood to the familiar streets to Levi's house. With a few bumps with strangers and few muttered apologies here and there, I made it on time. I pressed the doorbell and Mikasa opened the door after a few seconds.  
  
I allowed myself inside the very clean and organized house. I removed my shoes knowing that if I left even a few traces of dirt on their floor, I will be as good as dead meat. As I said earlier, I don't have a death wish.  
  
"Just go to Levi's room, Eren."

"But he said—"  
  
"It's okay, you have his permission."

Without another answer but a nod, I walked my way to the stairs that will lead me upstairs. On my way, I saw Erwin sitting on the couch with some books and notepads on the coffee table. He also have a book on his right hand.  
  
"Oh, Eren, here for tutoring?" He asked me when he laid his eyes on me.  
  
"Uh, yes I am." He nodded and smiled before returning his attention to the book on his hands. I just continued to walk and climbed the stairs until I reached the last door in the corridor. I took a deep breath and sighed before knocking twice. The only answer I received was silence.  
  
 I just decided to get inside. I already have his permission, right?

"Levi?" I called him as I opened the door and took peek inside. Just in time with my actions, I saw the bathroom's door opened and revealed a half naked Levi. He's only wearing a sweatpants without any shirt on so his perfectly toned upper body is up for viewing. He's using a towel to dry his hair and his muscles flexed as he do so. Damn, I'm not gay but he's really hot.  
  
I didn't noticed that I'm staring at him for too long and just found myself snapped out of my trance when he suddenly spoke. "Close your mouth, brat. I don't want your drool to drop on my floor."  
  
When I regained my thoughts I saw him already wearing a black loose shirt. "Uh, sorry." I'm embarrassed but I tried my best not to show it.  
  
"Come inside and close the damn door. You're wasting our time."  I just did what he said before I sat on his couch. He took out his notes from his bag so I also took mine out. He placed it on the coffee table and sat on the other couch in front of my seat.  
  
"Where are we going to start?" I looked at him as he flip the pages of his own notes.  
  
"Tell me what you had learned for the past week. It'll help you remember what information that brain of yours retained. That is, if you have one."  
  
"Of course I do!"

"Then start recalling." I started to get nervous. How am I going to tell him what I had learned if I haven't even listened in the first place?

"Uh, I uhm..." Levi's gonna kill me. Me being his partner is already a pain in his ass and not listening to any lesson will surely piss him off.

"What 'Uh, I uhm...'? Is that what Pixie taught for the whole week?" He rolled his eyes and I felt more embarrassed.  
  
"I may or may not have listened to him..." I looked down and started fiddling with the end of my hoodie.  
  
"You went to school the whole fucking week and you didn't even learned a single shit? How about notes?"  
  
"About that, I—"

"Just shut up and stop embarrassing yourself." I just sighed and looked down as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Wait here." He stood up and went outside. I wonder where he's going?

While waiting, I took the opportunity to look at his notes. I wonder if it's as messy as mine or as neat and organized as Armin's. I carefully grabbed it, making sure that I won't cause any crease on it. It looks unused and as good as new. How is that even possible?  
  
It's the time that I opened it which made me feel kind of envious. If Armin's notes are neat, this is much more neater. I don't know how his handwriting can look this good when teachers are literally firing words at us like a machine gun. Important parts are written in red or blue which made it easier to recognize. I'm suddenly very ashamed of my writing. My writing looks like it's been trampled by dozens of elephants.  
  
I laid the notebook back on the table and as if on cue Levi entered the room holding a black notebook.

  
"Here, use this thing." He threw the notebook at me and I just barely managed to catch it.

  
"What's this?" There goes my idiotic question. I really can't stop embarrassing myself, huh?  
  
"Can you stop being a fucking idiot? What? It's your first time to see a notebook?" He sat down on his seat earlier, crossed his legs and arms before he looked at me. He sure looks inferior. "Read the 'Classical Period Composers' since that'll be your test. I'll ask you questions later. Now get started."  
  
I opened his notes and just like earlier, I felt ashamed of my writing. I suddenly thought that not having any notes to show him might be a blessing. At least I saved myself from further embarrassment.

I read his notes silently, taking in all of the information my brain could handle. His notes made it easier to understand since he disregarded all the unuseful parts and focused on the important parts.

Meanwhile, I saw Levi stood up and went to his nightstand from my peripheral vision. He took out something from his drawer but I can't see it because his back is the one facing me.  
  
"I told you to read not to watch me." I flinched and returned my attention to his notes. It didn't take long until he returned to his seat earlier. I looked at him and saw that he's wearing glasses.  
  
"You're wearing glasses?"  
  
"No shit, Sherlock." He rolled his eyes again.  
  
"Then why aren't you wearing it at school?"  
  
"I'm wearing contact lens. Now get back to work. If your score later is low, I'll think of a proper punishment."  
  
He returned his attention to his own notes and I started to read again. I just hope that I'll get to answer his questions later.  
  
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*  
  
"Last question, in what year does Beethoven became deaf?"  
  
"1796." He hummed in response and wrote something in his notebook.  
  
"You got 17 out of 20. Not bad, brat." He stood up and stretched. As he did so, his shirt was lifted and it showed a part of his toned stomach.

"Take a fucking picture, it'll last longer and can you stop staring at me? I'm starting to think that you have a crush on me." He watched me with faint amusement on his eyes. Wow, that's new.

"I don't, I'm straight." Something flashed in his eyes and before I could even read it, it's gone. He shook his head with a sad smile on his lips before walking to the door. What's with the sad smile?  
  
"I'll make some snacks. You can go talk with Mikasa downstairs." His voice sounded hurt for a moment before it turned into his usual monotone. He stepped outside and as he closed the door, I saw his face. Traces of sadness and hurt was plastered on his usual bored look.  
  
I was puzzled when he left. Why does he suddenly looked hurt? Did I say something that hurt him? As I had recalled, I didn't. So what's up with that pained and hurt look?  
  
Most importantly, why do I feel uneasy when I saw how hurt he is?  
  
Why do I also feel hurt?  
  
I don't know and I think I need the answers.  
  
What are you doing to me, Levi?  
  



	8. I Hate That I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is it me, Levi?" Silence. The only thing being heard is nothing but our breathing. "Please, tell me."
> 
> I let out an irritated sigh before I looked at him straight in the eyes. "You want to know? Huh? Then fine! I'll fucking tell you! You're fucking right! It's you! Are you happy now, huh?! Now what? You're going to laugh at me? Go on! Do you think I fucking care? Not at all! I've been used to feeling pain because of you after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just want to say thanks to those who read and left a kudos. It means so much to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

**Levi's PoV**

  
  
It's already seven o'clock when I decided that the study's over. I stood up and collected all of my stuffs.  
  
"We're finished?" He removed his gaze from his— my — notes and looked up to me. I just gave him a curt nod and went to my bed where I put my bag. I heard him sighed in relief as he stood up and packed his belongings. I walked to the door to go outside but he grabbed my arm. I looked at him irritated. Can't he see that I want to fucking avoid him as much as possible?  
  
"Wait, Levi!" I removed his grip from my arm. "What the fuck do you want?"  
  
"I- uhm..." He shifted his weight from foot to foot and looked around to avoid looking at me.  
  
"If you have nothing to say then I'll fucking go." I turned around and started walking again. He didn't call me this time so I was relieved.  
  
When I heard his answer earlier, I totally let go of my hopes for him. He said it, and it's fucking idiotic to hold on to something that's impossible to happen.  
  
I absentmindedly climbed down the stairs. My mind is blank and all I feel is pain. Damn it, why is this happening to me?  
  
As I went down, my feet suddenly slipped and I fell out of balance causing me to yelp. I tried to get a grip on the handle but I failed. I just closed my eyes as I waited to feel my ass being slipped down the fucking stairs but it didn't come. What happened is I felt someone pulled me up and I landed on the floor with something— or someone on top of me.  
  
I groaned before I opened my eyes. "What the fuck, you're heavy get off—" My eyes widen as I saw the familiar turquoise eyes right in front of me, our noses centimeters apart from each other. I can feel his breath on my lips and the familiar feeling of my stomach churning as well as the loud beat of my heart.  
  
I was stunned. I can't move. My mind is telling me that I should get up and push him away but my fucking body feels like it's paralyzed. So I just stayed there, looking at his captivating eyes.  
  
"I heard a yelp, what's happening he—" I looked to where Mikasa's voice came from and saw that she's looking at us. Erwin stood behind her looking at us in confusion. Realizing the position we were in, I pushed him off of me and stood up.  
  
"Why are you in that position?" Erwin eyed us in suspicion, his eyes demanding for an honest answer. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"We're going to fuck in the middle of this damn corridor." With an answer  dripping with sarcasm, I started walking downstairs, pushing Mikasa and Erwin out of the way. I heard Eren explained the situation to them.

I was pouring some water in a kettle when they went down. Mikasa and Eren stayed on the living room while Erwin went here in the kitchen.  
  
"Levi..." I looked up from my cup to him. "What?"  
  
"Do you have anything to do tomorrow?"  
  
"Except for breathing and laying my ass on my bed, I don't." I looked down on my cup and poured the hot water to it.  
  
"Then would you like to have a dinner with me tomorrow?" My hand handling a tea bag stopped in mid-air. Ah yes, he wanted to court me and I allowed him so we're currently dating. I sighed and continued to make my tea. After some dips of the tea bag, my tea is ready. I looked at Erwin and saw his hopeful eyes once again. I sighed before I answered. "Okay."  
  
He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. I didn't hug back. I don't want to give him the wrong impression and raise his hopes up only to let it crash when I realize that I can't return his feelings. I told myself that I'll give him a chance but a chance is a chance, meaning that there's a risk that what you wanted to happen will not happen. In this case, I may not return his feelings and I don't want to raise his hopes up just to dump him. I know how it feels to have your feelings not returned and it fucking sucks.  
  
In the corner of my eye, I saw Eren looking at us. Why the fuck is he watching us? I just ignored his stare and tap Erwin's back before breaking his one-sided hug.  
  
"I'm going to leave now." I accompanied him up to the living room, leading him outside the house. I ignored Eren's stare when we passed the living room.  
  
"I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven in the evening."  
  
"Okay. Don't get your fucking self killed."

"I won't." He bid his goodbye and I watched him get inside his car and drove off. When his car is out of view, I entered inside and went back to the kitchen to drink my tea.  
  
"Levi." The silence was suddenly cut off when someone called me. I looked up to see Eren standing just a few feet away from me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The guy that you like, can you tell me who it is?" I gave him a stern look and glared at him.  
  
"Why the fuck are you asking? It's none of your fucking business." I placed my cup on the sink and cleaned it.  
  
"Let me ask you another question. Why does it feels like you're avoiding me?" Ah, so the brat noticed it after all.  
  
I turned to look at him and saw him looking at me with a serious expression. I gave him my usual impassive one. "I'm not obliged to answer your questions. Now fuck off before I decided to kick your fucking ass."  
  
Instead of doing what I said, he went closer to me and grabbed my arm. He stood in front of me, looking down as he towered over me. He stared at me intensely and I stared back. I'm not going to fucking lose this shitty staring contest this brat initiated.  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"I said fuck off." I shrugged his arm off of me and I walked away but after a few step he pulled me before pushing me to a wall. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"  
  
He cornered me to the wall, placing both of his hands right beside my head. Does this brat doesn't know personal space? "Just answer my question, Levi."  
  
"Why the fuck do you want to know?! It doesn't concern you so fuck off!"  
  
"It does! You've been avoiding me for the past few days. Whenever I look at you and our eyes meet, you're looking away. You're not like that before. I thought that we're friends but you've been acting like that since I asked you if I can court Mikasa. I can't understand anything, Levi. I need an answer. Don't leave me in the dark and explain it to me!"  
  
I stayed silent. I refuse to talk. Nothing's going to change even if I tell him the damn reason. It's futile and I don't want his fucking pity.  
  
"Is it me, Levi?" Silence. The only thing being heard is nothing but our breathing. "Please, tell me."  
  
I let out an irritated sigh before I looked at him straight in the eyes. "You want to know? Huh? Then fine! I'll fucking tell you! You're fucking right! It's you! Are you happy now, huh?! Now what? You're going to laugh at me? Go on! Do you think I fucking care? Not at all! I've been used to feeling pain because of you after all."  
  
I pushed him away from me. I can feel tears started to form in my eyes. Fuck. I can't cry. I shouldn't cry. I'm not supposed to cry just because of this brat.  
  
"Levi..."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear anything from you."  
  
"You're crying..." I didn't even noticed that the tears I've been holding back already made its way out. I wiped it away before I looked at Eren.

"I don't even know why I like you. You're honestly not what I thought that I'll take a liking for but this shitty heart of mine decided to fuck with me. Don't feel guilty, all of this is not your fault. But please, keep your fucking distance from me. I've had enough pain, and I would like to end it there. Loving you is painful enough and I don't like you to add more fuel to the fire." I hurriedly walked away and went to my room. I met Mikasa on my way and asked me why I looked like I cried but I ignored her and just kept walking.  
  
When I reached my room I opened the door and slammed it shut. I walked straight to my bed and laid there facing the ceiling.  
  
I'm fucked up. I admitted my feelings for him. What's worse is I even cried in front of him.  
  
I don't want this. I never wanted this. Why is this happening to me? I want to reset my life back to when I didn't know Eren. I want to forget everything. I love him but all that it's bringing me is pain.  
  
I hate that I love you, Eren.


	9. So Far So Good? Maybe not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when I started to enjoy the dinner we were having, two familiar figures entered the restaurant, one with chocolate brown hair and the other is charcoal in color just like mine. I knew immediately that the night is ruined when his turquoise eyes met my silver-blue ones.
> 
> In that time I knew that my fate really enjoys fucking with me.
> 
> So far so good? Maybe not.
> 
> Fuck it.

**Levi's PoV**

 

When I woke up this Sunday morning, the first thing that came to my mind is the conversation that I had last night with Eren. Did I really embarrassed myself in front of the fucking brat? I bet that he's laughing his fucking ass off when I left him in the kitchen.

The next thing is that I have a date with Erwin later. I cringed at the word 'date'. I never thought that I'll use that shitty word. Not with Erwin, at least. I just dismissed my thoughts from my mind and decided to take a bath.

After dressing myself with comfortable clothes, I left the comfort of my room to have some food in the kitchen. I'm just going to make some French toast for me and Mikasa. Mom's not here anyways.

I'm in the middle of making breakfast when Mikasa entered the kitchen, still wearing her pajamas looking very unproductive. She sat down on one of the chairs and yawned.

"Don't open your mouth too much or a bug will enter it." She hastily closed her mouth before shooting me a glare in which I ignored.

"Shut up, Levi."  
  
I smirked at her reaction. "Oohh, being feisty this early in the morning, huh?"

"You're the one who started it." She placed her arm on the table and leaned her head on her fist.

"Why does it looks like you haven't slept well?"

"I haven't." I raised an eyebrow. "Eren and I had been talking until past two in the morning."

"You shouldn't waste your sleep just for some petty talks." Woah there Levi, have a fucking break will you? I just hope that it didn't came out as bitter as I thought.

"It's not just some 'petty talks'. You see, I saw Eren sitting on this chair last night and he looked troubled. I tried to ask him about that all night but he didn't budged. Do you have anything to do with it Levi?"

"None." I'm not even sure myself. Is knowing that he's the one I like bothered him that much? "I don't have anything to do with it."

"But as I can remember, I saw you last night walking to your room with red puffy eyes and when I went to the kitchen, Eren's acting strange. Are you sure, Levi?" I sighed as I took a bite from my piece of French toast. I set it down the table before I looked at Mikasa.

"Yes." She searched my face for any signs that I'm lying but I kept my face neutral. She didn't pushed the topic more and just took a piece of toast before stuffing it in her mouth.

I returned to my place earlier and poured some water in two cups. I made a coffee for Mikasa and tea for myself before sitting on my usual seat at the table. I handed Mikasa her coffee and she muttered a small thanks before drinking some. I just nodded and started eating.

"I won't be here for tonight. I'll just cook something for you before I leave." She looked at me and eyed me in curiosity. "What?"

"Who are you going out with?"

"Who are you, Mom?" I rolled my eyes. "I'm going out with Erwin." I took a bite and sip some tea. I noticed how Mikasa is staring at me with wide eyes.

"You're serious about dating Erwin?"

"Do you think that I'm doing it for entertainment? That's a shitty thought you had there, Mikasa."

"N-no, it's just that, I thought you like someone else?" My heart clenched as the thought of Eren's desperate look last night entered my mind.

"I don't have any chance on that guy so why waste time? I'm already done with inflicting myself pain. I'm over that." I finished my toast and drank all of my tea. Mikasa stayed silent while I walked to the sink to clean my cup.

"But what if— what if he liked you?"

 _"I don't, I'm straight."_ His voice suddenly echoed throughout my mind reminding me about the painful truth.

"He don't. He said it to me."

"What if he just doesn't realize—"

"Mikasa." My voice came out in a stern tone. "Stop it. He said it, and I don't want to make myself miserable." I returned to my room, thinking about Mikasa's action. She isn't like that. And she never interfered with my decisions so why now?

*--*--*--*--*--*--*

"Levi, are you going to a funeral?" I looked at Hanji and saw that they are looking at me, clearly unsatisfied. I checked myself in the mirror and saw that I'm wearing black button down shirt and a black pants. In short, I'm wearing all black and it made Hanji think about a fucking funeral. I just grabbed it in my closet earlier and didn't even bothered to look at it. I just sighed and grabbed a red one before I went to the bathroom to change.

I left the bathroom and stood in front of Shitty Glasses, crossing my arms. "Guess that it's fucking fine now, Shitty Glasses?"

"It would be better if you'll stop frowning." I scowled at them and they raised both of their hands. I just rolled my eyes and grabbed a comb to neat my hair.

After I made sure that I look presentable and neat enough, I left my room with Shitty Glasses behind me. We sat on the couch in the living room, they started talking endlessly while I lazily search for an even mildly interesting channel but to no avail. I just sighed and turned the TV off. Just in time someone rang the doorbell. I walked and opened it, revealing Eyebrows.

"Ready now, Levi?" He smiled at me and I nodded. "Wait for me here." I went back to my room and took my wallet and phone before placing it on my pocket. After that I wore my black leather shoes then returned to meet Erwin.

I saw Erwin and Hanji talking by the door. When Erwin noticed me, he excused himself from Hanji. Hanji approached me and patted my shoulder. "Good luck."

I rolled my eyes. "We're going to fucking eat, Hanji, not attending some shitty contest."

They just grinned at me. "Whatever shorty, have a good night." They pushed me to the doorway which made me lose my balance. I looked back to glare at them but they slammed the door shut. That little— ugh.

I just sighed and walked to where Erwin is waiting. He opened the door for the passenger seat so I entered it and waited for him to shut the door and walked to his side to start driving.

After twenty minutes of driving, we reached the destination. We arrived at some fancy restaurant whose name I didn't bother to remember. I would rather stay in my house and cook my own food than go somewhere and waste too much money just to have the same quality. We entered inside and I took the opportunity to look at the place. The place is actually pleasant looking; floor made of marble, walls painted white with some gold-colored carvings and paintings ranging from natural scenery to normal human activities hanging on the wall, the place was lighted by the lights posted on the wall while a big, elegant chandelier is hanging on the middle. The chairs perfectly matched the color of the walls as well as the clothed table. At the side, a band of 3 violinist and a pianist is playing.

"Like the place, Levi?" Erwin led me deeper inside the place. I just nodded. I'm not going to deny it, the place is fucking beautiful.

"Mr. Smith, this way please." A waitress led us to our seats with a perfectly practiced smile. I'm not surprised that the waitress knew his name. He came from a well-off family after all. I just clicked my tongue before I followed her.

She led us to a place by the corner, the one which is a little far to the other seats. We sat on the chairs and she handed us the menu. I can't help but feel someone staring at me so I looked around, only to see that it's the waitress. She batted her (fake) eyelashes when our eyes met clearly trying hard to get my attention. Damn it. I returned my attention to the menu.

"Staring is fucking rude." She was startled when I suddenly spoke up. I put down the menu. "I'll just take lasagna." She scribbled it down on her notepad and looked at Erwin. After he told the waitress his order, she left.

"Oi, Eyebrows." He looked at me when I called him. "Hmm?"

"Are you sure about this? You know that I like Eren, right? Then why are you doing this?"

He sighed before he looked at me and gave me a small hesitant smile. "I am. Though I know that I don't have that much of a chance, what's the harm in trying?"

"Typical Erwin, always taking a risk." He chuckled and I let a small smile paint my lips. "But I guess I need to thank you."

He suddenly looked confused. "For what?"

"For trying. I know how it feels to like someone who doesn't like you back. It fucking sucks but you're still trying."

"Like you said, I like taking risk. Besides, if you don't want me it's okay. At least I knew that I tried and I won't have any regrets."

The waitress came and served us our food. The food doesn't taste like shit which is good. We talked about various things like what we always do. Erwin is a knowledgeable guy so talking with him is not boring. Not for me at least, we have the same interests. It's only natural for best friends.

_So far so good._

Just when I started to enjoy the dinner we were having, two familiar figures entered the restaurant, one with chocolate brown hair and the other is charcoal in color just like mine. I knew immediately that the night is ruined when his turquoise eyes met my silver-blue ones.

In that time I knew that my fate really enjoys fucking with me.

So far so good? Maybe not.

_Fuck it._


	10. Date Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All my life, I thought that I am straight. I always dream that I'll live my life and grow old together with a family that I'll build together with the woman I'll marry. But then I met you and I suddenly started to doubt myself. I am always, always reminding myself about what I dream but even there, you're the one I am with. I don't know what's happening to me. When you told me you love me, I tried to ignore the joy I felt and now I saw you with Erwin. Don't you know how confused I am?"

**Levi's PoV**

 

Fuck.

I looked around to check if there's any vacant table inside the place and guess what? The only fucking vacant table is the one beside ours. What the actual fuck.

"Levi, are you okay?" I looked at Erwin and saw his worried expression.

I groaned. "No Erwin, I'm far from okay." I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged it causing my head to look down.

"Why? Is there anything wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong. It's actually so fucking great to see my sister and Eren here and the shitty good news? The only vacant table is this goddamn table beside us. So fucking great, right?" I rolled my eyes and leaned on my chair still looking down. I looked at Erwin and saw him looking around.

"Well, there's nothing that I can do about it. Do you wanna go home now?" I didn't want to let that shitty brat ruin this night.

"No. Let's stay."

"But are—"

"My words are final."

I watched him sighed and we continued eating. After a damn minute or so, I saw Eren and Mikasa being led to the seat beside us. Great.

After they sat down, the waitress gave them the menu and they looked at it.

"Levi, are you sure that you don't want to go home? You look uneasy." I didn't noticed how stiff my body is since they came. I just sighed and tried to relax my mind.

"It's okay, I'm fucking okay, let's just finish this." He sighed and tried to start a conversation. I replied, but not as comfortable as I did before.

The waitress serving Eren's and Mikasa's table left. I saw Eren looked around the place. Shit, shit, shit, don't look this way.

I saw how his eyes widen when he saw me. I mentally groaned and slapped myself. Shit. Mikasa turned to look at what Eren is looking at and also saw me.

"Levi?" I sighed before I looked at her. I feigned a look of slight surprise. "Mikasa?"

"Didn't thought that I'll see you here."

"So do I. You didn't even told me that you'll go out with Eren." I took a glance at Eren and he looked away instantly when our eyes met. I looked back at Mikasa, waiting for her answer.

"You didn't left your room and I thought that since you're going out with Erwin, why not go out with Eren?"

"Are the both of you dating?" I shot Erwin a glare. What the hell is he thinking? Isn't it fucking obvious?

"No we're not." I was surprised with what Mikasa had said. They're not? Why? Eren asked me for that, right?

I looked at Eren and again, he looked away.

"Wait, why don't we share a table? I guess you already had enough time with each other." Erwin responded a yes despite the glare I sent his way. He doesn't seemed to be opposed with the idea, not even a bit. They actually started talking as soon as Mikasa and Eren sat on the vacant seats at our table.

Erwin and Mikasa talked for a while and only stopped when their food arrived. The waitress (the one who also served us earlier) purposely set her chest in view and leaned down too low to let Eren see it. I suddenly felt angry but I reminded myself that Eren's not mine. He's straight. He may even actually enjoy it. I just took a deep breath and fought the urge to strangle this woman to death.

Erwin ordered for desserts and I picked blueberry cheesecake while Erwin ordered a parfait. Throughout the whole time I'm eating I can feel Eren's gaze burning holes through me. Sometimes I'll look at him and he'll look away. When I continued eating he'll look again. It's seriously pissing me off.

Not too long after our desserts arrived, I pushed myself to have a conversation with Erwin and distract myself from Eren's unfaltering gaze. I took a bite from my cheesecake and Erwin scooped some of his parfait before reaching his hand to me, his spoon with parfait in hand.

I raised my eyebrow at him and he laughed. "Just eat and taste it."

I gave him a skeptical look before I reluctantly leaned in and ate the parfait. I leaned back after I ate it.

"How's it?"

"Good. A little too sweet for my liking."

"That's what it's made for."

"I don't have a sweet tooth.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know."

When I looked at Eren, I saw him glaring daggers at Erwin while muttering something under his breath. I just ignored it again.

We continued eating and we engaged in a conversation. Once again, I felt Eren's gaze so I looked at him and saw a twisted up expression on his face. What the hell is wrong with him?

I excused myself from them before I went to the bathroom. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Hanji's number.

"Hey Shor-"

"Hanji! Did you tell Eren where the fuck we're going?!"

 _"Huh? Why would I?"_ So they didn't told him? My fucking luck isn't just existing anymore, isn't it? _"If you called me because of that— wait! Don't tell me—"_

"Yeah, you're right. He's here. Fucking great right?" I stood in front of the mirror and saw how stressed I look. I put the phone in loudspeaker before I washed my face.

 _"Oohh, I wish I was there. It would be epic to see you in that situation."_ They laughed. I can imagine Hanji's expression right now. Probably their crazy one.

"Shut the fuck up, Hanji." I turned the faucet off and dried my face using a tissue before picking my phone up and set it in normal. "I'll go back there."

 _"Let me guess. You excused yourself and went to the bathroom, am I right?"_ They laughed— cackled and the sound actually hurt my ears.

"Fuck you, Shitty Glasses." I ended the call and took one last look at myself in the mirror before I decided to go back. I opened the door and was surprised when I saw Eren. I took a step back out of reflex.

He entered the room and I took steps to leave the room but he suddenly pulled me back. He locked the door before he turned to look at me.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He didn't answered. He just stared at me while he stood. The frown on my face deepened and I let out an irritated sigh.

"You know what? If you're just going to fucking waste my goddamn time, then move out of the way. Erwin's waiting for me." I pushed him out of the way but he just grabbed my hand and pushed me to the wall.

"Wait, Levi."

"What now?!"

Just like last night, he's cornering me again. My back is pushed against the wall while his hands are beside my head. I pushed him but he didn't budge.

"Last night, you told me that you like me right?"

"So what? Am I supposed to follow you like a fucking dog now?"

"If you like me then why are you with Erwin?" He looked me in the eyes and once again, I felt myself slowly being drowned by his turquoise eyes.

I snapped myself out of my trance. Get a hold of your fucking self, Levi. You shouldn't do your idiotic mistake again.

"Why does it matter to you? You don't own me so I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm tired of liking you— of loving you. I'm done with self-inflict pain. I'm not that much of a fucking idiot to love you even though I knew that there's no chance for me. Now fuck off, Erwin's waiting for me." I pushed him away but instead of backing off, he grabbed both of my hands and pinned them to the wall. He looked at me straight in the eyes but before I allowed myself to get lost in his eyes again, I looked away.

"Let me go, Eren." My voice came out in such a blank tone that even I was surprised.

"Why are you doing this to me, Levi?" His voice sounded so hurt and confused that I can't help myself not look at him. I set my gaze forward and I was immediately greeted by the distressed look on Eren's usually relaxed face. Confusion took place on Eren's usually lively and bright eyes making it look a little darker, a little wilder, like it's seeking answers for the swarm of questions inside his head.

"What do you mean?" I did my best to sound neutral despite the hammering beat of my heart when I realized how close he is. His nose is just half an inch away from mine, feeling his hot breath against my lips. I resisted the urge to kiss him, knowing that it will make the situation worse.

"All my life, I thought that I am straight. I always dream that I'll live my life and grow old together with a family that I'll build together with the woman I'll marry. But then I met you and I suddenly started to doubt myself. I am always, _always_ reminding myself about what I dream but even there, you're the one I am with. I don't know what's happening to me. When you told me you love me, I tried to ignore the joy I felt and now I saw you with Erwin. Don't you know how confused I am?"

I can't reply. My mind went blank as his words started processing. Since when did my brain functions so fucking slow?

He leaned his head on my shoulder and my body suddenly became stiff. As his hot breath touches my skin, my heart started to beat more aggressively and skipped more than just a single beat. My stomach is churning as the butterflies inside it went crazier than Hanji.

"I don't know if what I feel is right, Levi. But I hope that, after I did what I think is the best thing to do, everything will fall to its rightful place." He lifted his head up and stared at me. I gulped down the lump in my throat and he started to lean in.

 _Shit, shit, fuck! Levi! Push him! Push him away!_ My mind is screaming for me to push him, to do _anything_ to make distance between the both of us but my body remained stiff as a fucking wooden board.

So I just stood there with my eyes wide open as he leaned in and the next thing I knew, his lips is pressed against mine.

There goes my fucking first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, they finally kissed! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for all the reads and kudos. <3


	11. Feeling's Realized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now I can understand why I want Mikasa— it's not because I like her but because I can see Levi through her.
> 
> Maybe Armin's right.
> 
> I'm in love with Levi.

Eren's PoV

My mind is a mess. Plenty of unanswered questions are rummaging throughout my mind. 

Does Levi really like me? If he does then why is he with Erwin?

What do I really feel for Levi?

I always admired him from the day I saw him. I saw him as this cool guy from senior year that I want to be like. But now, everything's a mess.

I confronted Levi about it and what happened is the least thing that I had imagined.

I kissed him and saying that I didn't liked it will probably become the biggest lie for the century.

I didn't just liked it- I loved it.

His lips are so soft and sweet, it makes me addicted to it instantly. It can be qualified as a drug, a drug that no one but me can have a taste.

He's as stiff as a wooden board but I didn't mind. I want to taste more of him. I want to have him all by myself, not anybody's, not Erwin. His lips makes me feel like I'm intoxicated. And I'm craving for more.

My hands released its grip on Levi's hands. It slowly moved from his hands, one hand trailing its way to cup Levi's cheek while the other rested on his hips.

"E-Eren... stop i-it..." Instead of listening and complying, I ignored him and continued to kiss him.

That's until he had enough.

With more strength, he pushed me away and I stumbled backwards. He looked at me with eyes full of pain and confusion as he wiped his lips.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"L-Levi, I-"

"If you think that all of this shit is just a fucking joke, then think again. You can't just tell someone that you're straight then kiss them the next day. I'm not a goddamn guinea pig for you to experiment with. I'm a fucking human in case you can't see." He took one last glance before he turned around and held the doorknob. "If you can't return my feelings, then don't make it hard for me to forget you. Don't make me regret that I even loved you." And with that he left me dumbfounded.

After I snapped out of my trance, I abruptly stood up and hurriedly went out. I walked in a fast pace to get to Levi and apologize but my pace faltered when I saw Levi standing beside Erwin. A sudden surge of an unknown emotion overwhelmed me when I saw Erwin's hand resting on Levi's lower back.

Suddenly while Levi is talking, his head turned to my direction causing our eyes to meet. An emotion flickered on his eyes but before I could even decipher it, he quickly looked away. And before I can even reach them, they're already walking away from our seats earlier, away from the place, and most especially, Levi is walking away from me, without giving me a single glance.

I don't know why, but it brought a pang to my heart.

When I reached our table, I sat down on my seat earlier and sighed. My eyes traveled to where Levi is seated earlier.

"They already left. Levi is in a hurry so they didn't wait for you." Mikasa called for a waiter and we ordered for desserts.

"Did he tell you the reason why?" I placed my hand and propped my elbow on the table. I then rested my head on my palm while swirling my drink using its straw.

"No. Why don't you tell me?" One of my eyebrows raised as she looked at me blankly, her look resembling his brother's and in a sudden, my heart did a loud thump with the thought of Levi.

What the hell is that?

"I don't know what you're talking about." My answer earned an eye roll from her and our desserts came. I ordered blueberry cheesecake (don't get me wrong, it's just a coincidence that Levi also ordered it) while Mikasa ordered a... parfait.

A frown was formed on my face as I saw the same dessert that Erwin had earlier. The event where Erwin spoonfed Levi with that same dessert flashed in my mind and without even knowing it, I'm already glaring at the parfait. I looked at Mikasa when I heard her laugh.

I glared at her when her laugh intensified. "What?" 

She composed herself as she shook her head. "Stop glaring at the parfait, Eren. It didn't do anything to you."

"I'm not."

"Come on, it's pretty obvious."

"Shut up." I huffed and started to eat mine. I smiled when I remembered that it is the same dessert that Levi ate earlier.

"Now you're smiling. I'm starting to think that you're crazy." I  glared at her again before shifting my gaze to Levi's seat earlier.

With a sigh, I answered, "Maybe you're right."

Maybe I'm going crazy.

*******

"Eren!" Armin's voice snapped me out of my daze. I slowly looked up and I saw Armin's face with a look of worry.

"Hey Armin." A yawn  escaped my mouth and ended my sentence. I rubbed the tears off of my eyes and tried to cease another yawn which failed.

"You didn't sleep, aren't you?" Armin sat in his seat beside me. He shifted himself on his seat and is now looking at me with a frown.

"No." I once  again tried to stifled a yawn in which failed again. I propped my elbow on the table before burying my face in my hands.

"Figures. Now, want to tell me why?" I don't know if I want—if I can— tell him. Levi is Mikasa's brother. What if Armin slipped and accidentally tells Mikasa that I kissed her brother to help clear my mind? What's worse is I did it without his approval and consent. I'll be as good as dead meat.

"There's not enough time—" Just in time a teacher entered and announced that there's an emergency meeting and we'll be left by ourselves until the meeting's over. I  mentally started cursing and mentally slapped myself. Oh god, I can't escape him now.

"You saying something?" He gave me a bright smile in which I'm not really happy about. I sighed and looked around just to see my classmates in their own worlds. I gestured Armin to move closer using my index finger.

He pulled his chair near me before sitting and waiting for my answer.

"Don't tell anyone, especially Mikasa. She might kill me." Armin, despite being weirded out, nodded.

I took a deep breath. "I kissed Levi."

I watched how his eyes widen as his jaw dropped to the floor. Who wouldn't? All this time he knew that I am straight and all of a sudden, I'm telling him that I kissed Levi, the scariest—and hottest— short guy students in this school know.

He snapped himself out of his state of shock by clearing his throat and composing himself. "Why did you do that? Don't you dare tell me it's for nothing. We both know that he likes —"

"Who likes who?" Both of Armin's and my eyes widen when we heard a familiar deep monotone voice. We looked up and saw Levi standing in front of us.

"Uhm, hi?" There comes my pathetic greeting. I mentally high five-d myself at my idiocy. I stared at him as he rolled his silver-blue eyes. I felt my stomach started to tie itself in knots and my heart slowly starts to beat a little faster.

Is he really this handsome or there's just something about him now?

Oh please, he always looks good, but as I look at him now, there really is something new about him. It looks like he's glowing. How the hell did that happened?

I looked at his face and in the end, my eyes landed on his lips.

Those pair of lips of his is so addictive, I just found myself reliving the event last night in where my own lips are pressed against his.

Seems like I've been staring at him for too long since he finally slapped my forehead.

"What was that for?" I rubbed my forehead while looking at him. It's not just an act. It really hurts. I wonder where all of those strength came from.

"How about you fucking listen to me when I'm talking?" He glared at me and I muttered an apology. "Tch, just go to our house later."

He started to walk away and my eyes moved up and down his body as I watched him.

Damn, he sure is sexy.

He stopped walking and turned around. "By the way, do well in your shitty test later. I don't want my damn time that I spent to tutor you to be fucking wasted." He continued to walk again as I nodded even if he can't see it.

Wait. Am I going to wait for him or will I go alone?

I abruptly stood up which made Armin flinched. I didn't apologized and practically ran to catch Levi up.

When I reached the door, I hastily opened it and went outside. I looked around to see Levi— together with Erwin. My smile faded and is replaced by a frown. My chest tightened at the sight and I just dismissed my plan to ask Levi. Maybe I'll just go alone.

I went back inside and started to make my way back to my seat. I sat down, still fuming with what I saw. I don't know why I'm feeling and acting like this. I just do.

"What's with the bad mood?" I just shrugged. "Now, back to the topic. Can you tell me why you did that?"

"Did what?"

"Kiss Levi. Duh." He rolled his eyes as he answered in an 'isn't-it-obvious' way. This blonde coconut.

"It's a spur–of–the–moment move. I didn't expected that to happen. I just want to clear my feelings about him."

He gave me a knowing look. "Is it now clear to you?"

"No."

"Tell me what you felt when it happened. "

I gave him an 'are-you-kidding-me'  look. "Just tell me. I'm helping you, you know."

I huffed and slouched on my seat. Admit it or not, I really need help. I've been losing sleep thinking about this.

"It feels... great—ecstatic even. Instead of feeling repulsed, it made me want more. More of that kiss, more of Levi. It just feels... right."

In that kiss, I felt things that I never felt before. You can say all that mushy stuffs like—time seems to slow down, sparks fly when I felt his lips against mine, everything. But none of those can exactly explain what I felt. The warmth that I felt when I kissed him, it spread throughout my whole being. It feels so welcoming.

It feels like home.

"Eren, I think you like him. No— you love him." My.eyes widen at Armin's conclusion. Love? Isn't that too fast? I mean, damn, I'm not even sure about my sexuality!

"Armin, I don't think so. Like, maybe. But love? I don't think that it is what I feel for him."

He slowly shook his head before looking at me straight in the eye. "Let me ask you some questions. What do you feel when you're with him?"

"Happy. A little intimidated, but happy."

"What do you think about him and Erwin dating?"

"I have nothing against Erwin, but I don't think that they're a match. He should be with someone more compatible." He should be with me.

"With who? You?" I scowled at him and he laughed. "Okay, okay. Last question. Who do you see yourself with?"

I groaned. "Do I really need to answer that?"

He rolled his eyes again. "Just answer the question, Eren."

"Levi..." Armin gave me a knowing look and a big smile like he just solved the world's biggest mystery.

"Gotcha. No need to deny it, pal. The answer's already released."

I closed my eyes and think about Levi. How happy I am when I'm with him, how my heart beats faster when he's around, how my stomach do flips whenever I talk to him, and most especially, how hurt I felt when I saw him cry, whenever I see pain in his eyes.

I always denied everything I felt about him. I always pushed everything away, I always ran away from it.

Now I can understand why I want Mikasa— it's not because I like her but because I can see Levi through her.

Maybe Armin's right.

I'm in love with Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ship has sailed! What do you guys think? I would like to know your opinion about this story and some constructive criticism. It would help me develop my writing!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this. :)


	12. Under The Pouring Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you, Levi." Then he moved his lips and pressed it against mine. I instantly melted into the kiss, not minding everything around us. The only thing in my mind is Eren.
> 
> At this moment, nothing really mattered. Everything is perfect. This is perfect.
> 
> Him kissing me under the pouring rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 12. Thanks to those who left a kudos and of course, the ones who read it. Enjoy :)

**Levi's PoV**

 

After we went from Eren's class, we returned to our classroom just to see that there's still no teacher. We walked to where our seats are and took our place in it. I just stared outside the window as he started to read.

"Erwin..." he looked up from the book on his desk to look at me. I shifted in my seat as he stared at me. My fucking nerves is eating me.

After what happened last night, my mind confirmed something. That Yeager kid really got me deep. I couldn't sleep last night since every fucking time I closed my eyes, he always successfully crept up to my mind and I can suddenly remember everything vividly. From the way his eyes swallowed me, how his hot breath felt against my skin and most of all, how his lips felt against mine.

It happened all of a sudden. All I knew is that he's cornering me against the wall then the next thing I knew is he already had his lips against mine.

It felt so right yet so wrong. It feels right to have his lips pressed against mine but at the same time it felt like it didn't belong there. I knew that it's right— I felt it. But what's fucking wrong is he kissed me just to clarify his own fucking feelings. It made me feel like he's just using me to clear all the damn questions in his mind. I goddamn hate it. Of fucking course. What person in their right mind would like that? Having your feelings used for their own advantage. Fuck that.

But despite those thoughts, I can still see my fucking self trapped inside his spell. Maybe it's a curse. A curse that caused and is still causing me nothing but pain.

"Levi... Levi, are you okay?" I looked at Erwin just to see him looking at me worriedly. It just made me feel more fucking guilty.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. I'm just... thinking." I looked down and clasped my hands together. Brace your fucking self, Levi.

"You called me earlier, is there something you wanted to say?"

"I..." I took a deep shuddering breath while I gathered up my courage before I looked at him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry."

I watched how his face slowly changed from relaxed, to one of confusion, until it turned into one of realization. He closed his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath before giving me a forced smile. The pain in his eyes didn't slipped past my sight.

"It's okay, there's nothing for you to apologize for. You're just being honest and it's better than you forcing yourself to like me back." He looked down and stayed silent for a while and my guilt is eating me. I don't want to hurt him, but it'll happen sooner or later so why not do it now?

"I'm really sorry but I just can't like you back. I think you already know the reason."

"Yes. Can we still be friends?" I shot him a small smile.

"Of fucking course. It's not everyday that you can find someone with eyebrows as bushy as yours."

"And it's not everyday that you can see some guy at the height of 5'3." I glared at him and he chuckled. I sighed in relief.

_Sorry, Erwin._

*****

As soon as the class ended, I went to my locker to stuff some of my things. What I saw there caught me by surprise.

Eren is standing beside my locker, leaning against it with his hands on his pocket, headphones around his neck, while his head is low as he stares at the ground, looking like he's in a deep thought.

I ignored the sudden wild beating of my shitty heart as I took more steps, walking closer and closer to my locker. When I was just a few feets away, he looked up and turned his head in my direction. As soon as he saw me, his aura immediately lit up. He stood up and composed himself before smiling widely at me and waved. I looked around to check if there are other people around the area to save myself from embarrassment in case it's not meant for me. I heard him chuckled which made me snapped my head to look at him and shot him a glare. This fucking brat.

When I'm finally in front of him, he spoke up. "That's directed to you, Levi."

"Shut the fuck up. What the hell are you doing here in my locker anyway?" I opened the door of my locker which blocked the view of Eren's face. Damn, this brat smells good.

"I wanted to wait for you." My eyebrow arched and I look at him. He returned mine with a look of innocence as he asked, "What?"

"Waiting for me? And for what fucking reason?"

"I wanted to walk with you." My heart suddenly made a very loud beat and my stomach did crazy flips. I can feel my face heating up. Dammit, what is this brat doing to me?

I closed and locked my locker before quickly turning away and walked. He quickly followed suit and is now walking beside me.

We walked out of the school. I don't know if my idea of not bringing my fucking car today is a blessing or not.

Our walk to my house is quite silent save for the fucking ridiculous commentary from Eren such as, _"The sky is so blue today,"_ , " _The bird just flew from its nest, I wonder where_ _it'll go,"_ and other shitty excuses to start a conversation. I just gave him an eyeroll for every idiotic sentences he said. I'm just waiting for him to say, _"Oh look Levi, we're fucking breathing!"_ I fucking swear, one more nonsense sentence and I will kick him so hard.

He stopped. Fucking finally. I stayed silent as we walked and I didn't even noticed that the space between us earlier is now gone. Maybe he did that while he's spouting nonsense. This shitty brat. Currently, he's just an inch away from me. I can feel him occasionally bumping against me and the occasional brushing of our hands. Is he doing it on purpose?

I tried to calm the erratic beating of my heart and urged my stomach to stop twisting but it won't listen to me. I kept a blank face despite the heat that I can feel on my face. What is this brat doing?

When our fingers brushed against each other again, he trapped my fingers using his. He started playing it with his own, randomly pinching the tips and wrapping it with his own. I looked down to look at our hands before slowly looking up at him. I caught him looking down at me with a fond smile etched on his lips.

"Oi, brat. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He chuckled before raising his hand which is holding mine. He looked at it with a gentle look on his face.

"Holding your hand. Look at how it fits mine. Perfect, right?" He looked down at me and I cannot help but melt under his gaze. I looked away.

_Yes it is, just like you, shitty brat._

*****

When we arrived, he sat down on the couch as I went to the kitchen to prepare some tea and coffee. As soon as I'm finished, I went back to the living room and gave him his coffee.

"You're really great at making coffee."

"We own a fucking café, brat." My answer is thrown at him in a 'isn't-it-obvious' way. He took another sip and I watched him as I sip at mine too.

"I wouldn't mind drinking it every morning I wake up." He winked—he fucking winked— at me. I ignored the heat that took place on my face and rolled my eyes at him.

"Then buy some."

"I only want the one you make."

"Shut up." He laughed and I rolled my eyes again. He's fucking teasing me. What happened to the stuttering mess of a brat that I knew?

I suddenly heard a faint sound of rain. I looked at the window and saw that it really is raining.

"I miss playing under the rain. How about you Levi?"

"No." Why would I? I never experienced it so why would I even miss it?

"You don't?"

"No. I never did play under the rain so why would I miss it?" He let out an over dramatic gasp with matching hand covering his mouth.

"You never experienced it?"

"Do I have to fucking repeat myself?"

His look turned into a serious one. "We need to change that."

I rolled my eyes. "No thanks. I'm too old for that."

"Your height says otherwise."

I glared at him. "It's not my damn fault. It's fucking genetics."

I stayed sitting on the couch as I watched him stood up. He took a few steps until he's hovering over me.

"No one's too old for a new experience, Levi."

"There is. You wanna fucking know who? Me."

I stood up and tried to walk away but he wrapped his hand on my arm. "You're not going anywhere, Levi. We're going to go outside. You need to experience it."

"We're here to study, brat. Not to do childish things."

"But Levi—"

"No. Not in a million fucking years."

"Let's just decide by tossing a coin. If you win, we'll study. If I win, you'll stop being a grump and enjoy the rain." He looked at me with determination. Why is this brat so fucking persistent?

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "Fine."

"Okay then. Heads or tails?"

"Tails." He tossed the coin into the air and it did a few flips before starting to fall. Eren caught it by his hand. He opened his hand and revealed his side. He grinned as he looked at it. I slowly took a few steps away before sprinting to my room.

"Hey! That's not fair!" He ran after me and it didn't take long until he grabbed my arm. Why does he had to have long legs?

He moved his hand on my back and the other behind my knee and the next thing I knew, my feet is off the ground as he sprinted to the backdoor.

"What the fuck?! Put me down!" He didn't listen. Instead, he continued to perform his shitty plan and went outside, in the middle of the rain, causing the both of us to get soaked.

He finally put me down and I immediately punched his shoulder. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

He laughed. "Just enjoy, okay?"

He took my hand and led me in the middle of our backyard. "Wait here."

He quickly started to walk away and went to where my mother's flowers are. His back is the one facing me so I couldn't see what he's doing. Don't tell me that he brought me here just to look at those flowers? I'll fucking kill him.

Ignoring the shitty brat that brought me here, I closed my eyes and revelled in the cold feeling and silence brought by the rain. I always like the cold. It brings me an odd sense of comfort.

I opened my eyes when I felt Eren's presence near me. He is now standing in front of me, a smile on his face while his hands are positioned above my head.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just stay still, Levi. I'm just ... there." He took a step back and checked whatever shit he put on my head. "There. Just as I thought, it looks good on you."

I raised my hand to remove the thing on my head. "What shit did you—"

"Don't! It may be ruined if you touch it."

"Care to tell me what shit it is?"

"It's a flower crown, Levi." I glared at him. Why did he put a fucking flower crown on my head?

He shifted his weight on his two feet uncomfortably. Despite being wet due to the rain, he still looks good. If not, maybe he's even hotter. He ran his hand through his hair before he took a deep breath. He looked at me straight in the eye.

"Levi, I wanted to use this moment to apologize and confess to you so listen closely." He cleared his throat as.I watched him in curiosity. What is he up to?

_"I've been thinking lately, about you and me,_   
_And all the questions left unanswered, how it all could be."_

He started singing as we stared at each other. He took a step closer and lifted his hand to cup my cheek. His hand felt warm. It washed away the cold and I can't help myself but to lean into it.

_"And I hope you know,_   
_You never left my head,_   
_And if I ever let you down,_   
_I'm sorry."_

The last part came out more of a whisper. I continued to watch him gather up courage and finally spoke.

"Levi, sorry for not realizing this sooner. I love you— after all this time, I always had. I'm just scared so I pushed it all away. I'm scared about the thought of being rejected by you because, who am I to even be liken by someone like you? I'm everything you're not. You're so far out of my league and by some unknown reason, a miracle happened. You like me. And still, I remained stubborn. I tried to convince myself that I didn't love you despite the happiness I felt when you told me you love me, despite the hurt I felt when I saw you cry. All this time, I've been fooling myself. I'm a fucking idiot to not see this sooner." He closed his eyes and took another deep breath before making eye contact with me again.

"Will you forgive me and give me another chance?"

I searched for any hint of lie in his eyes. There's nothing. All I can see is love and a look that's begging for forgiveness. Begging for a new start.

I tried to convince myself that all of this is a dream. That I'll wake up sooner or later, and everything will be back to normal. If this is all but a fucking dream, then don't fucking wake me up.

I'm wrong. All of this is real, and the man I love is standing in front of me, asking for another chance, eyes looking at me with longing and love. Those are the things that I always wanted to see in that beautiful turquoise eyes of his and now that it's already happening, I felt my heart swell with happiness. The shattered pieces of my heart fixed itself in a flash and suddenly, it is whole again. The piece of it that I gave to him is now accepted and he's even offering his to me. Who am I to fucking refuse that?

I let a smile paint my lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes." I let out the single word that would end my pain and end his pretense. He smiled the smile that I grown to love and now it's just for this moment, just for me. Nobody else's but me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He leaned down to my ear and I shivered when I felt his hot breath touched my skin.

"I love you, Levi." Then he moved his lips and pressed it against mine. I instantly melted into the kiss, not minding everything around us. The only thing in my mind is Eren.

At this moment, nothing really mattered. Everything is perfect. This is perfect.

Him kissing me under the pouring rain.


	13. A Nurse For A Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh Levi, I didn't notice that you're already awake." He's now drying his hair using his towel. I can't help but stare at how his muscle flexed as he did so. "Like what you see?"
> 
> I glared at him despite knowing that the blush on my face is more than enough as a fucking giveaway. "I don't."
> 
> He smirked. Shit, why does he look so damn good when he did it? "Your face says otherwise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 13! I hope you enjoyed it. :)

**Levi's PoV**

The following day, the first thing I saw when I went to school is Hanji's knowing look. I raised an eyebrow at them and they grinned. It's so wide I thought that their face is going to split.

"I ship it." I looked at them confused. What the fuck are they saying?

"What?"

"Oh come on, Levi! Don't play dumb!"

"I'm not playing dumb. You're the one who's saying shit randomly."

"I really freaking ship it! Do you guys know how cute you look together? And the kiss! It's so romantic! I can't even— ah! Who would've thought that Eren can be that romantic !" They squealed and it instantly attracted other students.

"Shut the fuck up, Shitty Glasses. What are you—" I stopped when what they said processed in my head. "How did you know that?"

They grinned and took out their phone. They did a few taps here and there before my phone dinged. I glared at them before I cautiously unlocked my phone. I opened the message and a picture showed.

It's a picture of Eren and I kissing. My hands wrapped around his neck and his around my waist, the flower crown still set atop of my head.

_"I love you, Levi."_

I can't help but smile as memories of what happened yesterday flooded my mind. I heard them squealed again.

"Levi, you smiled! I haven't seen that for so long!" I locked my phone and returned it in my pocket before glaring at them.

"How the fuck did you get that picture?"

"I was there the whole time! I'm really lucky that my phone is waterproof. I've got to take a picture! My ship has sailed!"

I just sighed and ignored the fact that they stalked us. At least they got me a good picture.

"Whatever. Let's just go to class." I started walking away and they trailed behind happily. We were walking quietly until I felt them leaned near my ear.

"Eren and Levi, standing in the rain. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Out of reflex, I took some steps away from them before giving them a sharp look.

"Fucking Four-Eyes, I'm going to fucking kill—" I was cut off when my phone suddenly rang. I took it out and saw Eren's name on the screen. My fucking heart skipped a beat or two and my stomach feels like it's tying itself again.

"Let me guess. It's Eren, right?" Once again, a fucking face splitting grin appeared on their face.

"Shut up." I gave them one last warning look before I answered Eren's call. "What is it, Eren?"

I heard a laugh coming from the other line. "Good morning to you too, love."

I felt my face heat up. "You shitty brat, stop calling me that." He laughed again and I noticed that his voice is kind of raspy. "Are you okay?"

"Aww, worried about me, love?"

"If you don't stop calling me that, I'll fucking cut your damn tongue."

"Sorry, sorry. I'm okay. Just feeling a little sick."

"That's what I'm fucking talking about. Because of your childishness you became sick."

"You enjoyed it." Fuck. He's right.

"Whatever. Is there someone taking care of you?"

"None. It's okay, it's not that bad." He went straight into a coughing fit. I felt worry bubbled inside of me.

"Not that bad, huh? Could've fooled me. Just stay there in your bed. I'll be there in thirty minutes."

"Wait, you don't need to—" I hung up. I returned my phone to my pocket before turning to look at Hanji.

"How's Eren?"

"Sick." I walked past them and walked to the parking lot where my car is.

"Where are you going?" They walked beside me and gave me a questioning look.

"Somewhere. I won't attend classes today."

"Okay then. Take care." They stopped walking as I continued. When I reached my car, I hurriedly hopped in and drove to the nearest grocery store.

After I bought some ingredients for soup, I drove to where Eren lives. When I arrived, I got out of the car fast before locking it and jogging up to Eren's door with the groceries in my hands. I took the doorknob and twisted it, not surprised to see that it isn't locked.

I went inside and silently locked the door behind me. I looked around only to see a very large dog on my right side, looking at me while panting. Wait is this Titan? How did he became so fucking big in a span of six months?

Before I can make any move, Titan lunged at me, causing me to land on my ass with a yelp. Shit, this dog is fucking heavy.

I saw Eren going down the stairs shirtless while still wearing his pajama, hair still a mess. Messier than usual. Damn, I won't mind waking up next to that look every morning. "Titan, what's that— wait, Levi?!"

His eyes widen when he saw me being trapped under his dog. "Titan! Get off of him this instant!" When he said that, he sounded like a parent scolding a child. Titan whimpered before getting off of me. Eren went to me and helped me stood up. He then picked up the items that fell off the bag. We went to his kitchen and we placed the groceries on the counter top.

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"I told you that I'm okay right? You shouldn't left and skipped school."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms before looking at him. "Tell me directly if you don't want me here."

His eyes widen and he started to panic. "No! I mean— it's not that I don't like it that you're here. I'm glad that you are. It's just that I don't want you skipping school because of me."

"Sorry to fucking break it to you but I won't leave your sorry ass whether you like it or not. I'm going to nurse you so go get your ass back to your room while I prepare some soup."

"I want to help—"

"Eren. Just do what I said before I use force to put you to sleep. I swear that you won't like it." He just sighed and turned his back to me. I started to prepare the ingredients when he suddenly put his arm around my waist and started nuzzling my neck. My knees is starting to go weak.

"E-Eren..."

"Thanks for coming here, Babe." There goes his name calling again. I can't help the shiver that broke throughout me. He feels so warm, warmer than usual.

"Stop it..." I used the counter to hold myself up. He nibbled my ear making me gasp before slowly releasing his grip on my waist.

"I'll be in my room. Call me if you need me."

"Y-yeah, just go there and r-rest."

I watched him as he walks back to his room while I'm catching my breath. This damn brat will be the death of me.

After an hour of cooking and preparing, I finally finished the soup. I took two bowls for each of us then put it in a tray. I then prepared two glasses and a pitcher of orange juice. Next I prepared some medicines for his fever and took the reusable cold/hot pack. After everything is prepared, I carefully made my way to Eren's room.

His room is clean but not enough to pass my standards. His bed is in the middle of the room and nightstands on both side of it. The wall is painted in mint green. A soft-looking black carpet is laid on the floor next to the bed. On the left corner of the room, the door to his bathroom is placed. Next to it is his closet while his study table is located at the right corner. His TV is placed on the wall facing his bed. Under it is a black wooden cabinet with glass doors, a PS4 resting on top of it, various video games and music albums which consists of different bands inside. I placed the tray on top of an empty nightstand before I started to wake him up.

"Eren, get your ass up and eat." He groaned and shifted but he didn't wake up. I sighed before I started to nudge him.

"Ugh, stop it Mom." He pulled a pillow closer to him and hugged it tight. "I'm gonna sleep longer with Levi. Levi..." He buried his face into the pillow. Did he call my name?

I felt my heart race as my blood went up to my face. He fucking called me in his sleep!

With shaking hands, I pushed him softly. "Wake the fuck up— oof!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bed with him. I landed on the bed beside him.

"Let's stay like this for a moment." He pulled me closer to him, my face in front of his tan chest. I pushed him away gently, looking up at him.

"You need to eat so you can drink your fucking medicine."

"I'll eat and drink later. Just let me cuddle you first." I sighed and relaxed as he spooned me. With his arm wrapped around me, chin resting on the crown of my head, and scent assaulting my nose in a good way, I let myself be swept to unconsciousness by the fast beating of his heart.

*****

I woke up without Eren beside me. I sat up and looked around. I heard a soft humming coming from the bathroom as well as the faint sound of the water so I just assumed that he's taking a bath. I twisted my body and leaned in to reached the bowl of soup on his nightstand, his soup long gone and only the package of the medicine is left.

I carefully sat back and slumped against the pillow with my soup in my hand. I started eating and just in time, Eren slipped out of the bathroom's door, towel hanging so fucking dangerously low, revealing some part of his perfect V-line that's been sculpted by the gods themselves. I almost dropped my spoon and my jaw went slack as I watched his lean body.

The shitty brat didn't seem to notice my stare as he searched for some clothes. He took out a boxer, a dark blue sweat pants and a white tank top. I averted my gaze when he lifted one of his legs to wear his boxer. Fuck, my face feels so hot. Why does this brat needs to be that good looking without trying?

I stole a glance at him and when I saw that he's already dressed, I looked down to my food and continued to eat again.

"Oh Levi, I didn't notice that you're already awake." He's now drying his hair using his towel. I can't help but stare at how his muscle flexed as he did so. "Like what you see?"

I glared at him despite knowing that the blush on my face is more than enough as a fucking giveaway. "I don't."

He smirked. Shit, why does he look so damn good when he did it? "Your face says otherwise."

"Shut up." I quickly looked down and turned all of my attention at the soup. In an instant, it suddenly became more interesting than the brat standing a few feet away from me, possibly a smirk still plastered on that soft damn lips of his as I try to will my fucking blush away. I'm acting like a school girl who just got noticed by her crush.

I heard shuffles as I finished my soup. I set the bowl back to the tray and drank some juice. Part of the bed dipped when Eren climbed on it and I ignored it, assuming that he'll go back to sleep. He needs to rest.

I'm wrong. Instead of going to sleep, he pulled me closer to him before laying me down. He hovered on top of me and leaned in, his lips just half an inch away from my ear. What the hell is he planning to do?!

"Levi, you know that we're the only ones here, right?" His voice came out in a hushed tone, his voice a bit raspy but fuck, it made him sound more seductive.

I can't help but moan when he nibbled my ear. My eyes widen at the sound that came out of my lips. He chuckled. "You like that, Levi?"

He moved his lips to my neck and sucked. "Ahh... E-Eren..." I gasped as he continued to suck on that particular spot, also leaving kisses and gently biting it.

What do I fucking put myself into?


	14. Skipping School For Kiss And Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Good night, Levi."
> 
> "Good night to you to, brat."
> 
> "I love you."
> 
> A small smile painted my lips as those words came out of his mouth. Those three words sent sparks to my pathetic heart.
> 
>  
> 
> "I love you too..."

*****  
 **Levi's PoV**

"E-Eren..." I gasp as he continued to suck on my neck. I tried to push him away but all of my strength is drained out of my system. "Eren, stop it. Please..."

He didn't listen. He continued to kiss and suck, exploring my neck as I lay under him, trying to keep my breathing controlled. My mind is starting to get clouded and I'm losing my ability to think straight as he continued his sweet assault.

This is going way too fucking fast and I must stop it before anything happens. He just confessed to me yesterday. Hell, we still aren't even official! This should be stopped before this go way out of hand. I don't want to lose my virginity just because of this brat's shitty raging teenage hormones.

"Eren, stop it now or— ah!" I can't stop the embarrassing sound that came out of my lips when he sucked at one particular spot on my neck.

_Shit, stop it_ _Levi_ _._ _Don't_ _get_ _carried_ _away. He's_ _sick_ _and_ _he's_ _probably_ _not in the right mind._ _You're_ _not ready_ _and_ _so_ _is_ _he. Stop it_ _before_ _something_ _that you will truly regret_ _happen_ _._

Gathering up what strength I had left—which is not that much—I weakly pushed him away from me. He stopped what he's doing and looked at me. I raised one of my hand to reach his face before slapping it gently. He didn't respond and just continued to look at me with dazed eyes.

While I'm trying to control my breath, I just noticed how wild my heart is pumping. I closed my eyes before taking deep breaths to stabilize my breathing and composed myself.

"Eren, you really are a shitty brat." His clouded eyes started to clear up and I watched in slight amusement as his eyes widen and scrambled off of me before falling off of his bed. His face turned into a deep crimson and I resisted the urge to laugh, trying to keep my stoic act.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to! Fuck, please don't get mad at me!" I sat up, maintaining my eye contact with him. I sent him a glare and I noticed how he visibly tensed up.

"Do you really think that your sorry is enough?" The blank tone of my voice made Eren panic. He didn't move and just sat on the floor but the way his panic is reflected in his eyes is very clear.

"Levi, I'm really sorry. Don't hate me. Don't break up—"

"Woah, woah, woah." I raised my hand to signal him to stop. "Hold it. Break up? Who said that I'm your boyfriend, huh, brat?"

"H-huh? But you—"

"'But you' what? You just asked me if you can have another chance so I gave it to you but I don't recall telling you that I'm your boyfriend." I tutted and shook my head before giving him a disappointed look. "I suffered because of you for a whole damn shitty year. I think I deserve more than that."

I stood up and walked slowly until I'm in front of him. I crouched down to level myself to him before I stared into his eyes. As I stared at it, my heart started to beat irregularly just like what it always did whenever I'm with him. I cupped his cheek with my hand before leaning closer to him in a slow pace. It won't hurt to initiate a kiss, right?

It didn't take long until my lips pressed against his. This brat's fucking addicting. I pulled away after a few seconds, ending the chaste kiss that I initiated. It's just a simple kiss— no tongue clashing, no face sucking, just a pair of lips pressed against each other but it sent chill throughout me, reaching every fiber of my being. No one can make me feel complete as he does, and I'm not going to ask for more.

I rested my head on his shoulder before burying my face to the crook of his neck. "Can you do that, Eren?"

He pulled me closer to him and sat me on his lap. Somehow, it feels like the safest place. "Of course, you deserve the best."

"Damn right. Don't you dare disappoint me, Yeager."

"You bet your pretty ass, Ackerman." He laughed and I can feel all of my blood rushed to my face. I hit him in the back of his head.

"You're such a fucking hormonal teenager, you shitty brat."

"Only when it comes to you, Mr. Grump." I rolled my eyes and gently pushed him away before standing. I looked down at him when he didn't make a move.

"Are you going to just sit there all fucking day? Do you need me to drag your lazy ass up?"

He looked up at me with a pout. "I fell off the bed because of you. You should help me."

I rolled my eyes and offered my hand to him. "You're such a child. I don't fucking know why I fell for you."

I watched him as a smile painted his lips. He took my hand and pushed himself off of the floor, not releasing my hand and put it on his chest, smiling warmly at me.

I felt how fast his heart is beating through my hand. Warmth spread throughout me, as well as happiness and assurance, knowing that I'm the one who caused his heart to beat faster. It felt so serene, it made it seem like everything is placed right where it's meant to be.

It erased all the pain I experienced for the past year and somehow, it made it feel like all the pain is worth it. All the pain is now buried, deep but not forgotten, and all that's left is pure bliss.

I never thought that this day would come but damn, Eren's right. Miracles do fucking happen.

"You're not the only one, Levi. You can feel it, right? That only happens when I'm with you. I'm really sorry for how much pain I had caused you and I'll do everything to prove how sorry I am. I love you." I just felt my heart exploded.

Clicking my tongue, I looked away while fighting the blush away from my face. This kid sure is a fucking sweet talker and it seems like I'm effectively getting swept away.

"Let's stop all this sappiness now. What time is it?" He chuckled and let go of my hand but before he did, he kissed it first before winking. I glared at him but he seems to be unaffected by it.

"It's already fifteen minutes past two. We slept longer than intended." My eyes widen a bit. Shit, I didn't mean to sleep that long but sleeping beside Eren sure is comforting.

"Whatever. Are you feeling okay now?" I reached out a hand to his forehead and neck. He isn't burning. Maybe the soup, sleep and medicine helped him.

"Mhm, I'm feeling better now. Thanks for taking care of me, Love."

I glared at him when I heard the annoying name calling again. "Stop that name calling, Yeager or else..."

He raised his hand defensively "Okay, okay." I rolled my eyes and started to walk out with him following close behind.

We went to his living room and sat on the couch, his head resting on my lap as I ran my fingers through his chocolate brown hair. His large white dog is lying on the floor just a few feet away and it is staring at us.

"Eren, your dog is staring."

"Just ignore him, he's just observing you."

Ignoring the stare his dog is giving us, we just looked at each other in pure silence, him occasionally making funny faces  trying to make me laugh.

"Come on, Levi! Why don't you smile?"

"There's no reason for me to smile so why would I?"

"You're with me, that should be enough reason."

"Getting so full of yourself, huh?"

"Besides, I'm making fun of myself just to make you laugh!"

I rolled my eyes and flicked his nose. "No one told you to." He huffed and crossed his arms. "You're such a brat."

"Well, I'm your brat."

"You're help—" I'm cut off when the doorbell rang.

"Pizza's here." He sat up and pecked my cheek before he went to the door.

As he did some negotiations with the deliverer, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked it. I'm actually not surprised when I saw shit tons of messages from Mikasa. Instead of checking all of her messages one by one, I decided to call her. It'll save me more time.

I dialed her number and pressed the phone to my ear. Not even after two rings, Mikasa's voice thundered through the phone.

_"Levi! Where are you?_ _"_

I  closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Somewhere."

Eren walked back holding a box of pizza. "Mikasa?" I nodded. He placed the box on the table before he returned to his place earlier. He played with my hand as I use the other to hold the phone.

_"Care to tell me where_ _that_ _'_ _somewhere_ _'_ _is_ _, Levi?  What are you even_ _doing_ _?"_

"I'm here at Eren's."

_"You_ _didn't_ _answer my last_ _question_ _."_ Her voice seems to calm down. _"What are you_ _doing_ _there? Don't tell me_ _you're_ _fuck—"_

"God fucking dammit, Mikasa! Eren's sick and I took care of him! Take your fucking mind out of the damn gutter, will you?!"

_"_ _Good_ _. I_ _just_ _don't_ _want_ _the both of you to_ _lose_ _your V-_ _cards_ _without_ _even_ _having_ _your_ _first date."_

I rolled my eyes and clicked my tongue in annoyance. "Whatever. I'll fucking hang up now." Without waiting for an answer, I ended the call. Eren sat up and I placed my phone on the table.

"What does she said?"

"Nothing important, she just asked where I am." He nodded and offered me a pizza in which I gladly took.

"What do you want to do?" I shrugged. I honestly don't know what I like to do. Except from loving Eren, if that counts. "Let's just watch some movies."

*****

After watching some movies (Eren picked all of it) we decided to call it a day. We didn't even watch the movies. All we did is talk or look at each other. This brat is much more interesting than all the movies combined.

Eren is still lying on the  couch with his head on my lap when he spoke up.

"Hey, Levi." 

"Mhm?"

"Can you stay the night?" I checked my phone and saw that it's already half past nine. I guess one night wouldn't hurt.

"Yeah, just let me borrow some clothes."

"Let's go to my room then."

He stood up and pulled me with him. He led me to his room and sat me down the bed before he searched for some clothes in his closet.

"Here, this is the smallest shirt and sweatpants that I have so that's the only thing that you can wear and don't worry about the underwear. It's new and unused."

"Thanks." I stood up and went to his bathroom. I searched for some towel and got one from one of the cabinets.

I stripped myself off of my clothes and started to shower. After a good thirty minutes of soaping and scrubbing myself, I got dressed and searched for an unused toothbrush. There's no way in hell I'm going to sleep without brushing my teeth. That's fucking disgusting.

I was relieved when I saw one. I removed it from it's packet and used it with Eren's toothpaste, gurgled with mouthwash and flossed my teeth before I went out.

When I got out, Eren's already sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked up at me and smiled.

"I used the bathroom downstairs." He climbed on his bed and laid on the left side of his king sized bed. He patted the other side.

"Lay down here, Levi. Sleep beside me."

I walked closer to the bed and sat on it. "If you ever repeat what you did earlier, you're dead." I lay down on my side and faced him.

"Thanks for coming and staying here, Levi."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just go to sleep."

He pulled me closer to him and he wrapped his arms around my waist while resting his chin on my head, just like our position earlier.

"Good night, Levi."

"Good night to you to, brat."

"I love you."

A small smile painted my lips as those words came out of his mouth. Those three words sent sparks to my pathetic heart.

 

"I love you too..."


	15. I'm Not Jealous... Kinda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not a bother though, sooner or later we'll live together and I'll be able to have your amazing cooked foods. Every. Single. Day."
> 
> I don't fucking know where this brat gets his thoughts. He's always able to turn the fucking tables.
> 
> A triumphant smile was made on Eren's lips when I chose to be silent. I glared at him and he chuckled.
> 
> He really is the biggest brat to ever exist.
> 
> But at least he's my brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if the summary I'm putting in makes any sense. XD
> 
> Sorry for being gone for so long. I've been very busy with school and I don't have any time to even go here. I also haven't been able to update my new story in Wattpad because of this.
> 
> Anyways, here it is. Enjoy!

**Levi's** **PoV**

I was woken up by the damn annoying bright sunlight that's assaulting my face. I opened my eyes just to close it again when I was immediately blinded.

"Fuck." My creative word came out as a hiss as I slowly sat up. I groaned and stretched, still sitting on the bed when the door suddenly opened. My eyes shot open just to see Eren standing on the doorway with a big smile on his face.

"Good morning, Levi. Slept well?" He entered the room and walked towards the bed. He sat on it and shifted himself so he's looking at me.

"Yeah." It has actually been too long since I got the chance to sleep that long. He hummed and leaned in to kiss me but I blocked him using my hand.

"Do you brushed your teeth?"

He looked at me with a false offended look. "Of course, I do. What do you think of me?"

I playfully shoved him before I stood up. "Well, I still don't. Let me clean myself first."

I walked in to his bathroom and washed my face before brushing my teeth. After that I went back to his room and saw him still sitting on his bed, looking at me eagerly like a child waiting for his candy. I rolled my eyes before I went to him, pulled his collar and gave him a chaste kiss on his lip. I removed my grasped on his collar when I pulled away before looking at him.

"Happy now?" He nodded and I rolled my eyes. "Let's go downstairs and eat. I assume that you already made breakfast since you're still wearing your apron. Filthy."

"No it's not!"

I turned around and started to walk away when he stopped me by pulling me by my arm. He smiled and pecked my cheek. "I love you. You're cuter when you just woke up, Mr. Grump."

Blushing, I punched his arm before looking away. "I'm not cute. I'm not a fucking puppy."

"Yeah, you're not. You're the hottest midget to ever exist on earth." He wiggled his eyebrows while flashing me his smile. Damn, that's even brighter than the sunlight.

He walked out of the room while holding my hands. He led me to the kitchen and I saw foods on top of the table. I sat down as he went straight to the kettle on his stove and prepared tea. He returned with two steaming cups of tea and sat down.

"Let's eat now."

I took a toast as well as two slices of bacon and a perfectly cooked sunny side up egg. We started eating in comfortable silence.

"Not bad, brat." A look of pride painted his face when I complimented him. "Not as good as me though."

I smirked when I saw his face fall. I really love teasing the brat. While observing him, I watched as a smirk crept up his lips.

"It's not a bother though, sooner or later we'll live together and I'll be able to have your amazing cooked foods. Every. Single. Day."

I don't fucking know where this brat gets his thoughts. He's always able to turn the fucking tables.

A triumphant smile was made on Eren's lips when I chose to be silent. I glared at him and he chuckled.

He really is the biggest brat to ever exist.

But at least he's _my_ brat.

*****

When I came home with Eren beside me, my mother welcomed me with a warm smile while Mikasa scrutinized me— the way I walk to be exact. I glared at her and she just shrugged when she didn't notice anything.

"Eren dear, are you okay now?"

"Yes, I am. Levi here is a good nurse. He took good care of me." He  wrapped on of his arms around my waist and gave my mother a cheeky grin. My mother looked at us lovingly which made my frown deepened.

"They're right. You two look perfect together."

Now I'm confused. What is she even talking— wait, fuck. Don't tell me—

"They? Is it Hanji?" Looks like Eren also thought about what I'm talking.

"Mmm, it is. They told me yesterday that the two of you are dating and how romantic Eren did to you." She walked back to the kitchen, leaving the two of us alone in the living room.

Fucking Hanji. I'll kill them. They're acting like a goddamn newscaster.

Eren seemed to notice my irritation since he clamped a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Levi. At least your mother supports us."

I sighed and ran a hand through my fingers. "I'll get ready for school. Wait here."

I left him and went to my room. I opened the door and went inside. I thought that I'll have a fucking heart attack when I saw Mikasa sitting on my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I walked to my closet and picked what clothes I will wear today.

"I knew it."

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow at her.  Why don't she just go straight to the damn point? "Knew what?"

"You like Eren right from the start—" _Am I that fucking_ _obvious_ _?_ "—and that's the reason why I'm confused when you dated Erwin. I even asked Hanji where the both of you are going in your first date and I brought Eren since he seems to be in denial. Looks like I got what I wanted."

That fucking explains the reaction she had when she discovered that I'm dating Eren. She sure is my sister.

"Yes, you do. Happy now?"

" Don't act like you didn't like what it resulted to, Lee." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes in disbelief.

I sighed and went in front of her to ruffle her hair. "Yeah, thanks Mika."

I removed my hands from her head. "It's been a long time since you last did that."

"Well, I don't have any reason to do it."

"You have. You just can't reach my head."

I glared at her and she looked at me in amusement. "I can. If I wanted to."

"Just admit that you're short, Midget."

"Not unless you admit that you're overprotective, Mother Wannabe."

We stared at each other in a silent competition. After maybe a whole minute, she sighed and shook her head.

"Just go and prepare for school." She went out of my room to let me have my time alone.

After I got ready for school, I took my bag from my study table and went down to the living room where Eren is supposed to wait for me. When I reached the room, I saw my mother and Eren talking.

"Eren." Both of them looked at me and my mother winked at me. Why the fucking hell does she winked? I gave the both of them a suspicious look as they both stood up.

"It's nice talking to you, Eren. Just come here anytime you want to." My mother gave him a warm smile, Eren looking at her in adoration.

"Well, he's literally almost here the damn whole entire time. You don't need to tell him that shit."

"Whatever, Levi. I'll keep that in mind, Mom."

"Hold a fucking second. Why the fuck do you called her 'Mom'? As long as I knew, you're not my sibling." I glared at.the both of them while they're looking at me in slight amusement.

"Language, dear. You already said it— he's here almost the entire time so I told him that he can call me 'Mom' and besides, he's your boyfriend already so why not?" My eyes widen for a fraction and heat pooled on my cheeks. Does she really need to fucking say that?

I looked at Eren and saw that she's looking at her in amusement, a light tint of pink also pooled on his cheeks.

I just clicked my tongue. "We're not in a relationship, Mom."

"But soon you will." She gave Eren a knowing look as Eren gave her an assuring nod. There's something going on in here that I don't have any fucking clue.

Ignoring the suspecting acts the both of them show, I just sighed. "Let's just fucking go to school, brat."

*****

A few days had passed since the day Eren confessed. It's already Wednesday today and I'm spending my vacant time alone under a big tree near the school field while reading a book. Better spend my time reading than do useless random shits.

About Eren and I— we still aren't official. I won't agree to be his boyfriend without him taking me to a date. I spent a whole damn year hurting and hating my fucking self because of him. He needs to at least make a small effort to pay for that.

"Hey, Levi." I looked up from the book I'm reading when I heard Eren's voice. He sat beside me, smiling at me before getting his phone and started to scroll and read. I returned my attention to my book and started to read.

"Pffft..." I furrowed my brows when I was distracted by Eren's muffled laugh. I turned my head to look at him and saw a big smile on his face as well as a light shade of pink on his cheeks. I can't help but glare at the oblivious brat beside me as something rumbled inside me. I just clicked my tongue and started to read again.

"Pfft... She's ridiculous." That caught my attention. She? Who the hell is that 'she' he is fucking whispering about?

The frown on my face deepened as I slowly turned my head to look at his phone. He is currently texting with someone and whoever that fucker is is making him blush and smile. I felt anger started to build inside me. I tried to look at the screen and saw a name.

_Annie_

Annie? Isn't that the blond girl with a resting bitch face?

_Wow, you_ _talk_ _like you_ _don't_ _have one._

Shut up.

Why the hell is he texting her?

Before I can even read what they're talking about, Eren hid his phone and looked at me with a questioning look. "What is it, Levi? Is there anything wrong?"

 _There's_ _nothing_ _absolutely_ _wrong_ _! I am fucking_ _sitting_ _here_ _beside_ _you while_ _you're_ _texting_ _another girl!_ _Everything's_ _fucking great!_

"No."

"I don't think that—"

"I told you there's nothing wrong. Now shut up."

I can't believe how fucking oblivious this brat is.

*****

The next day, I started the day very pissed off. Aside from the fact that Hanji called me at three in the fucking morning and was unable to go back to fucking sleep, I was greeted by the sight of Eren talking with a short girl who looks a bit like Armin.

Something bubbled inside of me as I watched them talk. Eren leaned down to whisper at her ear before they laughed. The bitch even gave Eren's arm a playful shove.

I just stood a few feet away from them, watching them with a blank face despite the rage I'm feeling deep inside of me. This fucking brat. How dare he? He just told me he love me yesterday and now I'll saw him flirting with a fucking girl?

"Levi!" I heard Hanji's voice came from behind me. I turned around and saw the lunatic together with Eyebrows. He gave me a nod and I nod back, ignoring Shitty Glasses.

When the news about Eren and I reached Erwin, he said that he's happy for me. Of course I'm not a fucking idiot to believe that especially when I can see Erwin's eyes filled with envy and jealousy whenever I'm with the shitty brat. The brat, on the other side, always have a smug look each time he can get a chance to make Erwin jealous which only proves how much of a fucking brat he is.

I really don't know why I goddamn fell for the fucking brat.

I looked back at the brat and the girl he's with. I glared at them despite the fact that they won't see me. That fucking brat. Is he just playing with me?

"Looks like someone's jealous." I shifted my glare to Hanji.

"I'm not fucking jealous. He can fucking flirt with whoever he wants. I don't fucking care."

"The look you're giving them says otherwise."

Why do they kept on telling me that I'm fucking jealous?! We still don't have any official relationship thus leaving me with no fucking rights to be jealous.

I'm not fucking jealous... kinda.


	16. Becoming Official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He leaned in and pressed his lips on mine. I felt like my heart exploded. Nothing besides this kiss is in my head. Our first kiss in an official relationship.
> 
> I gathered up courage to speak the equally peculiar words to him. "I love you, Eren."
> 
> He sighed in contentment before answering. "I love you too, Levi."
> 
> And those words made everything perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I decided to do a double update. Just a heads up; there's some cringe-y lines ahead. Read at your own risk. I created this when I still have a hangover from the PJO series.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy! :)

*****  
 **Levi's** **PoV**

"Eren, can I talk to you?"

This is honestly pissing the fucking hell out of me. In the morning, I saw Eren talking with some innocent looking girl about shits that I don't have any clue. Whenever I saw him in a few free minutes of mine for the subject intervals, I always see him talking with that same girl or Annie. I don't have any fucking clue as to why they're always talking and that goddamn reason alone makes me feel shitty.

"Hmm? What is it, Levi?" He didn't even removed his fucking gaze from his phone. That's another reason why I'm fucking pissed off. He always have his attention directed to his damn phone. I don't know what's so fucking important for him to ignore me and focus on the shitty gadget. Is he already sick of me? Maybe he got bored and is just killing time with me until he have another person to play with.

If that is what's really happening, then I'm not a fucking toy to be played with. I need a goddamn reason and if he couldn't give a good one, I don't think that it'll be worth my time nor my effort.

"Can you explain to me what's going on?"

He finally turned his gaze away from his phone to look at me in confusion. We're at the same spot we were yesterday, under the tree near the field. Nobody's near us so it's a good place to sort the fucking things out.

"What do you mean?" I let out a grunt of disbelief. How can this brat be that fucking clueless?

" Do I need to fucking spell it out for you? Well fucking listen to me, shitty brat. Are you really serious about me? About us? I don't want to hear shits from you so  give me a fucking honest answer."

His eyes widen as my words reached him. He reached out his hand to hold mine but I swatted it away.

"What made you think about that? Levi, I'm serious about you. I know that I am. I—"

"I'm just so fucking confused, Eren. I can always see you talking with other girls. When you're with me, you barely even notice me and spend all of your time chatting with whoever fucktard you're talking with. Do you know how fucking anxious I am whenever you did that? I can't stop over thinking and you not giving me any clue is only making it worse."

I want all of my damn frustrations to vanish. Why am I even feeling like this? Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe I'm just being paranoid but, fuck. Who wouldn't? I always believe that actions speak louder than words and with the way he's acting, I'm starting to have second thoughts about his words.

"I'm sorry, Levi. I'm just busy about something very important. Please stop thinking that way."

"Stop thinking this way? Fuck, Eren! How can I not? You're always leaving me clueless! You know what? Don't fucking talk to me until you want to stop leaving me in the goddamn dark."

I stood up and quickly walked away. He also stood up, following me and grabbing my hand.

"Levi, don't be like that. It's really something important and it's a secret. I promise you, I'll tell it to you soon. Don't be mad at me, please."

I slipped my hand away from his grasp and turned around to look at him. When I saw his face, I felt all of my anger vanished. He looks afraid— afraid of losing me and the chance to be with me. Somehow, it brought me reassurance but I won't give in until he stopped hiding anything and ignoring me. Call me an attention whore, but look if I even give a fuck. I don't give a fucking damn.

"Look, Eren. I just want you to stay true to your words. Action speaks louder than words. If you cannot do it, fine. Just don't talk to me."

I turned my back to him and continued to walk away. I need to cool my head off before I do something that I'll regret.

*****

I didn't talked to him for the rest of the day yesterday. I saw that he's stressed about it, but two can play the damn game. At least he experienced what I had felt.

I am now sitting on the couch in our living room with Hanji in front of me, bugging me about ignoring Eren.

"Maybe he just have to do something very important. Knowing Eren, he isn't the type of guy to ignore you once he told you he loves you."

"That's exactly what he's fucking doing perfectly."

They rolled their eyes and threw their hands in the air. "Come on, Levi! You're acting like a child!"

I just looked at them blankly, arms and legs crossed.

  
"Okay, I understand that you're still quite mad but please, Levi. Eren isn't ignoring you without a good reason. I knew what he's doing, but I'm not allowed to say it. Just be patient until he's done. I know that it'll be worth it."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "Whatever. Are you going to the café? I need some distraction." They nodded and we stood up. I'm already dressed so I didn't need to rush to prepare myself.

We headed out and got inside my car before driving to the café. They were silent the whole ride, which is very uncommon, but I didn't make a move to break the silence that reigns on the air.

When we arrived, I parked the car and went inside. There are a couple of customers but it didn't make the place packed.

As we went further inside, I saw Eren talking with my mother. The frown on my face deepened at the sight but I ignored it. I just walked straight to my mother's office, got some extra apron before heading to the kitchen.

While I'm making a coffee for an order, my mother walked in, looking surprised when she saw me. She soon recovered then smiled at me.

"I  didn't know that you're here. Did you saw Eren?"

"No." She wouldn't discover if I'm lying so it's okay. She just hummed in response and went to Shitty Glasses. They talked in a hushed tone, making sure that I couldn't hear them. They're occasionally taking glances at me which really raised my suspicion. I just rolled my eyes and ignored them.

My day went on like that. I'm making coffee whenever there's an order and I can sense Hanji's stare throughout the whole fucking day.

I went out the kitchen and removed the apron that I'm wearing, putting down my cup of tea first to avoid spilling. I then went to one of the booths, enjoying the silence.

The silence didn't last long when someone sat down in front of me, a cup of steaming coffee in hand. I looked at who the person is and my eyes met the striking color of turquoise that I know too damn well.

"Hi, Levi." He gave me a small smile, still testing the water. I just looked at him before returning my gaze to my tea.

"Are you still mad at me?" I didn't answer. I looked outside the window and I heard him sighed. "Sorry, Levi. I was so caught up with what I had planned that I didn't gave attention to you but, can I ask you something?"

I turned my gaze at him and saw him looking at me with hopeful eyes. "What is it?"

"Tomorrow at six in the evening, can you go here?"

I looked at him suspiciously. He squirmed in his seat, scratching his neck. "And for what fucking reason?"

"It's the reason why I was busy for the past few days. I wanted to make it memorable for the both of us. Will you give me a chance?"

I sighed and shook my head. I really can't stay mad at this brat nor decline him. He really got me wrapped around his fucking finger.

"Tch, fine. You better make sure that it's fucking worth my time."

He smiled brightly and I thought that I'll become blind. Maybe I need to wear sunglasses each time this brat is around.

"Great! You can wear something a little more formal." He stood up and went to my side. I looked up at him and he leaned down. "I'll make sure that you're not single when you leave this place tomorrow."

He pecked my lips before he straightened up. "I'll see you tomorrow then." He flashed me one last smile before leaving.

What is this brat planning?

*****

"Levi! Are you ready now?"

"Shut the fuck up, Shitty Four-Eyes! You're giving me headache!"

I took one last look at myself in the mirror.  I am wearing a dark blue button-up shirt and black skinny jeans that fits my leg in a comfortable way, not too fit and not baggy. After that I went out of my room and to the living room where Shitty Glasses is waiting.

"Let's go now!" They pulled me up to my car, opened the door and pushed me inside. They also entered and sat. "Drive now, Levi!"

I rolled my eyes and drove off to the place, Hanji squirming on their seat beside me. "Can you stop your fucking squirming? I'm going to kick you out of my damn car if you don't."

They stopped and looked at me with wide eyes filled with excitement. A crazed look settled on their face and their glasses started to fog. "Levi, you don't have any idea about how excited I am! I think I'm going to die!"

"Don't fucking shout in here! I don't care if you die, maybe it'll even help this shitty world if it lose one more goddamn lunatic."

"You're mean." They huffed and leaned back on their seat, the crazed look on their face still there.

We arrived at the café and I immediately sensed something odd. I frowned and started to walk when Hanji stopped me by grabbing my arm. They held out a single red rose, smiling at me.

I raised an eyebrow at them. "What the hell is that for, Shitty Glasses?"

They groaned and took my hand before placing the rose on it. "That's for Eren's plan. Look at it."

I did what they say and noticed that there's a paper hanging on the stem. I looked at them again and they sighed.

"Eren did that. Open it."

I reluctantly picked the paper from the rose and slowly opened it. There's something written in it.

' _Maybe you're one of Aphrodite's son; you're too beautiful to look at.'_

That cheesy fucker. I felt heat started to pool on my cheeks. I slowly looked up and saw Hanji grinning.

"What the fuck..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Look, Levi! You're blushing!" I glared at them but they ignored it. "Go to the café there are still a few roses waiting for you."

I'm second guessing if I should go there or not. What the hell is waiting for me in there?

No. Stop acting like a fucking child, Levi. I already told him that I will go. It would be such a waste if all of his efforts will be gone to waste because of my cowardice and besides, I'm the one who told him to not disappoint me, right?

I composed myself before I started to walk.  On my way, Farlan approached me, a red rose in his hand.

"Hey, Levi." He handed me the rose in which I took.

"You're a part of this?"

"Well, Eren and Hanji are so persistent. It's hard to say no." He patted my back and started to walk away. I read what's written on the paper.

_'You should replace Apollo as the sun god. Judging by the way you lit and brighten up my world, I'm sure you're more than qualified.'_

My cheeks went hotter when I finished reading. I continued walking and Isabel is the one who approached me this time.

"Big bro! You're lucky with that soon to be boyfriend of yours!" She gave me the rose and quickly sprinted away. I took a moment to read what's in the paper.

_'Even Athena won't be able to understand how you gave meaning to my life.'_

The process went on with Mikasa, Armin, my mother and Erwin. I was surprised when I saw Erwin.

"You helped?"

"Well, I know that it'll make you happy so I did. Good luck with everything."

He walked away. When I reached the door, I decided to read what is written on the other papers.

_'I bet Hermes envy how much of a great thief you are. Hell, you stole my heart!'_

_'Even if all Hades breaks loose, I'm sure that I'll still be holding you.'_

_'I don't like your last name. Ackerman? Nah. How about Yeager? Levi Yeager. Sounds perfect right?'_

_'If Janus will make me choose between two doors with one leading to great treasures and the one leading to you, I'll choose you. You're my greatest treasure.'_

My face is now hotter than the earth's inner core. That shitty brat. Did he think all of this?

I took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door. Silence met welcomed my ears as soon as I stepped in. Curtains are blocking the lights outside, leaving a room only lighten up by candles. All of the tables are on the side, leaving the middle of the room exposed. On the floor, Christmas lights are arranged to form a shape of the number eight, which can also be considered as infinity, the shape being filled with white and red roses. Now that I think about it, the roses that they gave me are also a mixture of white and red.

On a span of a few seconds, someone walked to the middle, a guitar slung on his shoulder. I looked at him in awe. I had never seen the brat wearing button-up shirt so it's a new thing. The shirt's forest green color complimented the color of his eyes well.

He showed me a warm smile before clearing  his throat and started to strum his guitar.

_My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost_   
_I need to feel something, cause I'm still so far from home_   
_Cross your heart and hope to die_   
_Promise me you'll never leave my side_

He started to sing while playing his guitar. His voice sounded so pleasant to the ear. It sends warmth to me, and the emotion he puts forth reached me. The song is calm, his voice well-suited for it. 

_Show me what I can't see when the spark in my eyes is gone_   
_You got me on my knees, I'm your one man cult_

He stared at me and I found myself staring back at him. The sparks in his eyes are the ones that has given me the reason to be happy. I'll do everything that I can to keep those in him.

_Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need_   
_I promise you you're all I see_   
_Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need_   
_I'll never leave_

Maybe it's the other way around. I need him to bring me happiness. His smile brought warmth to my cold world and without it, I don't think that I'll ever be able to experience that. I can't help but think that all of this is a fucking joke but now that he's doing this for me, all of my doubt and insecurities are swept away, it has been drowned by that turquoise eyes of his.

_Come sink into me and let me breathe you in_   
_I'll be your gravity, you be my oxygen_   
_So dig two graves cause when you die_   
_I swear I'll be leaving by your side_

As I continued to watch him, he walked closer until he's in front of me. He leaned down and gave my cheek a chaste kiss before singing again.

_So you can drag me through Hell_   
_If it meant I could hold your hand_   
_I will follow you cause I'm under your spell_   
_And you can throw me to the flames_   
_I will follow you, I will follow you_

He finished his song and put the guitar on the floor. I pulled him into a hug which surprised him but eventually hugged back.

"Hi, Levi. Did you like it?"

I hugged him tighter and buried my face in his chest. "No."

His arms slacken and I can feel disappointment radiating out of him. I broke from the hug and chuckled.

" I don't like it because I love it, brat. Where the fuck did you get what you had written in those papers?"

As fast as lightning, he brighten up and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. He's squeezing the fucking life out of me.

"E-Eren... I can't b-breathe..."

He let go of me and I immediately gasp for air. "Sorry! I just got too happy! And about what's written there, I think about all of those. Hanji said that you are fascinated by Greek mythology so I decided to make something out of that."

After I composed myself, he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. I watched him as he prepared himself for what he's planning.

When he had finally prepared himself, he looked at me straight in the eyes with courage. His eyes are filled with fear and excitement but beneath that, I can see his love and for me it's enough.

He took out a piece of red rose and gave it to me. There's no paper in it. Seems like he had read my thought since he started speaking.

"Maybe you're wondering why it didn't have a paper unlike the others. That's because I wanted to say it to you so please, listen.

"The number of flowers I gave you is eight. It's the sign used for infinity, and that's how long I'm going to love you. The roses, they're two different colors. They show how different we are to each other, but once they're matched, they look perfect for each other. I know I'm not perfect for you, you deserve much better than me but still, you picked me. And I'll forever be grateful. I'll always follow you wherever you go, and I hope that you'll do the same for me."

I can't speak. I opened my mouth just to close it again when nothing came out. I looked like a fucking idiot. My heart is beating so damn fast I think it's going to get out of my chest. My stomach tied itself in knots I don't think I can keep anything down for the next days. All of my blood went to my face I bet that cherry will be fucking jealous at how red it is.

"I can't promise that things will be perfect. The only thing I can promise you is that you'll have me every step of the way. I'll hold your hand if you need assurance, I'll guide you if you're lost, I'll be your strength if you're weak, I'll be your light if everything is dark. I'll always protect you even if it cost me my life because Levi, _you are my life._

"I won't ask you to marry me today since we're still not in the right age. What I wanted to ask you is a bit different."

My breath was caught in my lungs when the shitty brat knelt. What the fuck is he planning?

My eyes widen when he showed me a ring, a simple silver band ring with studs of stones that nearly rivaled the color of his eyes.

"Will you promise me that you'll wait with me for that moment to come and be my boyfriend?"

I cannot speak. I urged myself to speak the fuck up but my body won't allow me. I stared at him with wide eyes as worry took place in him.

"Levi, are you—"

"Yes..." My word came out in a barely audible whisper. His eyes widen.

"W-what?"

"I said yes you shitty brat. Just put that fucking ring to it's place now."

He stood up fast and put the ring in my ring finger. He wiped the tears that's rolling down my cheeks unconsciously. "Wait here."

He went to a corner and picked something up while I took the time to admire the ring he gave me. He returned and put something on my head again.

"Don't tell me it's a fucking flower crown again."

He smiled brightly and pulled me into a hug. "I can't help it. It looks perfect on you."

"You're lucky that I love you."

He broke the hug and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped mine around his neck, the roses on my hands.

"You're finally my boyfriend, right?"

I can't help but smile as realization sink in to my mind. I pulled his head down to lean his forehead against mine.

"Damn right, brat."

He smiled widely once again and a smile made its way to my lips. It felt so peculiar to me, but somehow, it feels great to smile.

He leaned in and pressed his lips on mine. I felt like my heart exploded. Nothing besides this kiss is in my head. Our first kiss in an official relationship.

I gathered up courage to speak the equally peculiar words to him. "I love you, Eren."

He sighed in contentment before answering. "I love you too, Levi."

And those words made everything perfect.

*****


	17. A Promise Sealed With A Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just a little more, Levi. It'll be worth the wait. I promise." He took glances at me while driving to check if he made any progress. He didn't. "Don't you trust your boyfriend? ~"
> 
> Your boyfriend
> 
> That caught me off guard. I'm still not used to it, considering that not even an hour had passed, but it feels so damn good to hear that, especially from him. He's my boyfriend, not anyone else's. Eren Fucking Yeager is mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, thank you for the comments, kudos and for those who subscribe! I appreciate all of it. I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter. Happy reading~

*****  
 **Levi's** **PoV**

"Where the fuck are you going to take me, shitty brat?"

After what happened in our café, Eren told me that he's not yet finished and that we're going somewhere. Where that 'somewhere' is? I don't fucking know. All I know is that there's something waiting for me there. Hell, it can be a damn murderer or human trafficker for all I know.

"Just wait a little more, Levi. A bit of patience wouldn't hurt."  The way he said that has a bit of humor in it but it didn't worked the way he expected. I just looked at him blankly which made him uncomfortable.

"Just a little more, Levi. It'll be worth the wait. I promise." He took glances at me while driving to check if he made any progress. He didn't. "Don't you trust your boyfriend? ~"

_Your_ _boyfriend_

That caught me off guard. I'm still not used to it, considering that not even an hour had passed, but it feels so damn good to hear that, especially from him. He's _my_ boyfriend, not anyone else's. Eren Fucking Yeager is _mine._

I huffed and leaned my back to the car seat, looking outside with my arms crossed. I can almost hear Eren's grin, knowing that he won. We continued traveling in silence, him focused on the road while I watched many buildings passed by.

The longer he drives, the farther away from the city we become. He played the stereo and started humming along with some songs. Not that I'm complaining, the brat has a nice voice so hearing it isn't like listening to nails on a chalkboard.

"We're here." The car stopped and he went outside to open the car door in my side. Acting like a gentleman, eh?

I looked around and saw nothing but the road, trees, trees, more trees and guess what? More trees! With a frown on my face, I looked at the brat.

"What. The fuck. Is this? Don't tell me we drove for half an hour just to look at these goddamn trees?"

He chuckled before he held my hand. It feels like my anger immediately dissipated into thin air. Damn it Levi, can't you at least hold on to your anger even just for a fucking minute?

The answer is no, not for the brat at least.

" I had something to show you and no, it's not the trees. We just need to walk for a while." He squeezed my hand before he looked down at me. "Let's go now?"

Rolling my eyes, we started to walk deeper inside the woods. The place is dark due to the trees' entwined branches, blocking the light coming from the moon. Eren held a flashlight, just enough to give us enough light to see our way.

" Eren, if there's a fucking murderer or human trafficker in the place you're leading me I'm going to fucking kill you." He laughed loudly in response, his voice seeming to echo in the large, isolated place.

"Stop thinking about such ridiculous things, Levi. We're near. Be a little more patient."

We continued walking as he led me. The brat looks like he knew the place so damn well. Our surroundings started to become a little brighter, the light illuminating from the moon can now pass between the spaces of the trees.

He abruptly stopped, tugging my hand which made me stop as well. I looked at him in confusion as he took something out of his pocket. What he took is a white cloth and it made me more confused.

"What is that for?" He moved himself and is now positioned behind me, the white cloth is held with two hands.

" I need you blindfolded when we get there. Trust me, okay?"

He put the cloth on my eyes, taking my ability to see. He knotted the ends behind my head before making sure that it's placed correctly.

"Can you see something?"

"If seeing nothing but black is included in your 'something', then yes, I can."

Ignoring  my sarcastic remark, he hummed in approval and reached for my hand once again. "Let's continue our walk now then."

Walking with a fucking blindfold at night surely isn't something you want to do nor experience unless you wanted a nonstop tripping galore.

"Oof!" Again, I tripped. I'm starting to get so annoyed. "Oi, Eren. Why— ah!"

My feet is being lifted off of the ground. I felt strong pair of arms, one on my back in the middle while the other is placed behind my knees.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing?! Put me down!"

He tutted. "I won't do that. I'll just carry you like a princess."

"The fuck are you talking about? I'm not a fucking girl in some flimsy dresses. I'm not a fucking princess."

" _You_ are _my_ princess."  Despite how much I think about how horrible being a princess is considering how much of a weakling most are, I can't stop the blood that rushed to my face as well as the annoying antics of my heart and stomach. I remained silent, letting the shitty brat take me to wherever he planned to.

It didn't take long until my feet regained its contact to the ground again. "We're here. You can take off the blindfold now."

I sighed and reached for the blindfold. "Fucking finally. What—"

My eyes widen at the view. What's in front of me is probably one of the best scenery that I can see in my life.

"Do you like it?"

I didn't answer. My mouth agape as I stared at what's in view. We're at a riverside, the grass covering the ground is colored in perfect green. The river flows in a very serene way, the water glistening because of the moonlight. A small bridge is also there, leading to the other side of the river with a small boat that can accommodate two persons anchored to it. A table for two is placed near the river. The table and chairs covered by a white cloth, candles and rose petals surrounding it, illuminating a yellowish light which gives off a romantic vibe.

I turned to look at Eren who's standing beside me.

"What... I... Who..."

I continued mumbling out incoherent phrases until Eren decided to cut me off using his mouth. Placing a soft kiss on my lips using his equally soft lips, he smiled.

"I'll just assume that you like it. Christa helped me with this, you know, the blond petite girl you got jealous at. I'm talking with her because she's good at these things. Annie together with Mikasa also helped at setting this up."

I couldn't speak. I got jealous over something that isn't even something to be jealous about. Eren took my hand and led me to the table, pulling the chair for me. When I had my ass planted on the chair, he took foods out of a container. He returned to the table with two plates containing lasagna. He settled the plates in front of me and his seat. He also took a bottle of wine before he sat down on his chair. He smiled at me when he saw me watching him.

"Sorry..." he looked at me in confusion. I clicked my tongue and looked away. "I overreacted. Sorry about that."

He flashed me a smile that would put Apollo to shame. I think I just got blinded. "It's okay. Let's start eating now."

I took the cutlery in my hands and took a slice of the dish before eating it. The taste of tomato, meat, the sauces and cheese bursted in my mouth. This tastes familiar.

"Your mom cooked it since she told me that you didn't like eating foods that aren't cooked by you or someone you know."

"Yeah, she's right. I actually miss her cooking. She's always busy because of the café so she's rarely home."

"Same goes for my dad. He's a great guy but, can't he at least make some time for his son? He's always away."

He stabbed his food and ate it. He reminded me of a child in their tantrum. I let a small almost unnoticeable smile paint my lips at the sight.

We continued to ate in silence, the flowing water and clanking of the utensils are the only sounds to be heard.

"Eren..." he looked up from his food to me. "How do you know this place?"

He swallowed his food and drank first before speaking. Good, at least the brat has some manners.

"I always go here whenever I have time. My mom brought me to this place when I was a kid and I go here to relive my memories with her. This place is very special to me and I thought that this is the best place to bring you."

He smiled a little at the mention of his mother but I can see traces of hurt and pain in his eyes. I felt my heart clenched at the sight.

I reached for his hand which is curled into a fist and rested my hand on top of it. His stiff body relaxed and his hand loosen.

"Sorry, I don't want to ruin this moment but I... I just... I miss her so much." He looked down at his lap and my gut told me to go and comfort him. So I did.

"Eren..." Shit, I don't know what to say. I'm not good at comforting people. Making them uncomfortable? That's where my fucking trophy will enter.

He stared at me, waiting for what I'm going to say. I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

"I don't know what it feels like to lose your mother, but I grew up without my father. It hurts, but that's what makes a person strong. The pain will never end, it will always be engraved in your heart, but it serves as a reminder of how strong you are.

"I know that your mother is a great woman since she had a great son and I don't think that she'll like to see you sad. Neither do I. You're supposed to be a fucking ball of sunshine, sparkles, and rainbows who do a great job in irritating the shit out of me so brighten up, will you?"

I think I did what I'm supposed to do. He held my hand and smiled brightly at me. "Thank you, Levi."

I gave him a small smile in return,my body feeling warmth all over. Just being with him is enough for me.

He stood up and went to take a wireless speaker before connecting it to his phone. A song started to play and he returned beside my chair, bowing a little and offering his hand saying, "Can I have this dance?"

I snorted before placing my hand on his and walked a little farther to the table, beside the river. "You cheesy fucker."

He chuckled and placed his hand on my waist, letting me wrap my arms around his neck. "You like it."

_And_ _I'd_ _give up forever to_ _touch_ _you_   
_Cause I know that_ _you_ _feel me_ _somehow_   
_You're_ _the_ _closest_ _to_ _heaven_ _that I'll ever be_   
_And_ _I_ _don't_ _wanna go home_ _right_ _now_

"Hey Levi, do you know that I love you?" He leaned his forehead against mine as we move in small circles, grasping tight at each other, never wanting to let go.

"Hmm, you also know that I feel the same way, right?"

 _And all I can taste is_ _this_ _moment_  
 _And all I can breathe_ _is_ _your life_  
 _When_ _sooner or_ _later_ _it's_ _over_  
 _I_ _just_ _don't_ _wanna miss you_ _tonight_

As the chorus started to play, he held my waist closer to him. I'm overwhelmed by his piney scent, coaxing me into comfort. Out of all the places in this world, being in his arm is the safest place I can ever be.

He started to sing the lyrics of the song. It's like he's telling it to me and I can't stop the tears from my eyes to fall.

 _And_ _you_ _can't_ _fight the tears that_ _ain't_ _coming_  
 _Or_ _the_ _moment_ _of truth in your_ _lies_  
 _When_ _everything_ _feels_ _like_ _the_ _movies_  
 _Yeah, you bleed_ _just_ _to know_ _you're_ _aliv_ e

The year of pain and self hatred, all of it are now gone. Just hearing those three words coming from his lips is enough to dissipate all of it.

I buried my face into his chest, trying but failing to cease the continuous flow of tears coming from my eyes. Fuck, what is this brat doing to me?

He rested his chin on my shoulder, whispering sweet words to my ear. We moved in small movements in that position and I don't want to move from here anymore.

 _And_ _I_ _don't_ _want the_ _world_ _to see me_  
 _'Cause I_ _don't_ _think_ _that they''d understand_  
 _When_ _everything_ _'s made to be broken_  
 _I_ _just_ _want you to know_ _who_ _I am_

"I don't want this moment to end."

So do I. I wanted to freeze time itself if it meant that he'll be holding me in his arms longer. He loosened his grip on my waist and tilted my head up to look at him. He wiped the tears out of my face with a gentle smile.

Out of all the things I saw in my life, he is the best thing I ever landed my eyes on. Especially tonight, with how his sun kissed skin glow against the moonlight, how his messy chocolate brown locks sway against the gentle wind and how his eyes reflect all of his emotions to me, he is more than perfect. He is making me fall for him deeper each and every single time, not only by his looks but also because of his kindness and earnestness.

"Promise me that you'll never leave me, Eren."

He cupped my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "I promise you. I hope that you'll do the same for me."

I smiled. "You bet, Yeager."

He started to lean in and just before his lips met mine, he whispered the words that I'll never get tired hearing.

"I love you, Levi. Up to the end of infinity."

And with that, we sealed our promise with a kiss.


	18. Sudden Turn Of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " L-Levi, Eren... He... he..."
> 
> No, it can't be. My fucking mind is just messing with me.
> 
> "God fucking dammit, Armin! Just fucking tell me!"
> 
> "He... he got in an accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so thank you for all of the comments, kudos and subscription! It really made me glad that you guys are enjoying this work. Go on and read now. Enjoy!

**Levi's** **PoV**

I woke up with something unfamiliar beside me. It's warm and very comforting, I can't help but lean into it. When I closed my eyes, not even a minute had passed when I shot it open. There's a fucking person in my bed!

I sat up and pushed the person off of my bed using my feet. I heard a yelp and a loud thud when the fucker landed on the floor. The fucktard groaned and I recognized that it's a male. He sat up and removed the blanket covering his head which made my eyes widen when I saw the familiar mop of chocolate brown hair.

"Eren?" What the fuck is he doing on my bed?

He groaned and rubbed his eyes before looking at me. "What a great way to greet your boyfriend a good morning, Levi."

He stood up and sat on my bed. With a frown on my face, I crossed my arms. "If you woke up with someone sleeping in your goddamn bed besides you, what do you think you'll fucking do? Jump in joy?" I rolled my eyes and started to stretched.

"I planned on waking you up but you look so peaceful when you're sleeping I can't make myself do it." He scratched his nape. That's a mannerism of him when he gets embarrassed.

"And you decided that it would be best to sleep beside me?" His face turned into a deep red and he started spouting incoherent phrases. I rolled my eyes and stood up, walking to my closet to pick my clothes for today.

I heard soft sounds of footsteps behind me and not even a minute had passed when I felt his strong arms wrapped around me.

"Good morning, Levi."  He nuzzled my neck, immediately making my knees weak.

"Y-yeah, good morning..." My eyes closed when he started trailing kisses from my neck to my jawline.

"You smell so good, Levi."

"S-shut up." He tightened his grip on my waist. Not long after, a knock on the door was heard.

"Eren, wake Levi up and please, don't do anything. I don't want to see my brother limping at school."

My eyes widen and it's like someone painted both Eren's and my face with red. I can hear the underlying smugness in her voice.

"God fucking dammit, Mikasa! Stop talking shits, will you?!"

"Just checking up on the both you."

Eren broke the hug and pecked my lips. "I'm going downstairs. Go and prepare yourself for school."

He strode out of my room and I took a deep breath before I went to the bathroom. This is going to be a long day.

*****

Do you ever feel having your guts continuously tells you that something bad is going to happen? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now as I tried to ignore the unsettling feeling lurking in my mind while blocking out the voice of the good-for-nothing teacher in front of the room.

"Hey, Levi." I kept staring outside, ignoring Shitty Glasses. Looks like they're not going to desist from pestering me. They poked my cheek and I swatted it away.

"Stop that, Hanji." _Thanks, Erwin._

"Can't you see it, Erwin? There's something bothering Shorty!"

Ignoring Erwin, they continued poking me. All of my patience are gone and I grabbed their arm, glaring at them.

"If you still want to see this fucking hand attached to your damn arm, fucking stop poking me."

They quickly withdrew their hand and I sighed. "Levi, there's definitely something bothering you. Tell me."

I can also feel Erwin's gaze at me now. I sighed in defeat, shoulders sagging as I slumped in my seat.

"There's just this unsettling feeling in the back of my mind and it's bugging me."

"Don't think much of it. All of us experience that at some point. Maybe your nerves are still jumpy from what happened last night. It'll go away."

Muttering a silent 'I fucking hope so', I returned my gaze outside, ignoring Erwin's lingering gaze.

As soon as the bell rang, I quickly strode out of the room and went to Eren's and my usual spot. When I reached the place, I saw a girl clinging on Eren's arm as he tried to pry her away. I let out a growl, the possessive part of me acting.

I walked to where they are, my face blank as usual as I watched the bitch force herself on Eren.

"Mina, get off of me."

"But come on—"

"'Come on' what?" My voice and face didn't portrayed any of my emotions as it stayed blank as a clean paper.

"Levi, look. It's not—"

"You bitch." The girl looked at me while pointing at herself. "Yes, you. Fucking surprised?"

"What—"

"If I were you, I'll fucking let go of his arm if you don't want to lose some limbs." Eren gently pushed her away before making his way to me with an amused smile on his face and giving me a chaste kiss on my lips. I scowled at him before returning my gaze to the girl named Mina who's looking at us with wide eyes.

_Hah, get that, bitch._

"I think that you fucking know about not touching someone's property. Fuck off before I add your arms in my collection. I don't want to see you near my brat ever again."

With a stuttering response, she left Eren and I to our own devices. I turned to the brat and gave him a glare while  the amused look on his face is still there.

"Is there something to fucking smile about, huh, brat?"

He hooked his arm on my waist and pulled me beside him. "You're cute when you're jealous."

I clicked my tongue and pushed him away. "Shut up."

I walked up to the bench, him following behind. I sat down and he settled beside me.

"I promise you, Levi. I told her to go away but she didn't." I scoffed and crossed my arm, looking at him impassively.

"Oh yeah? But it looks like you're enjoying it." I'm only messing with him. I saw how uncomfortable he is earlier but it's fun to mess with the brat and watch him become a stuttering mess.

"No, I'm not! Maybe your eyesight is becoming poor!"

I faked a twitch of my eye as I tried to control myself from smirking.

"As far as I know, my eyesight really is poor. Besides the fact that I do need to wear eyeglass or contact lenses, I guess that it really is poor to even set an eye for you."

He pouted and huffed before leaning back on the bench with arms crossed.

"Brat."

"I'm not a brat!"

"You fucking wish."

We started to engage in a staring contest. We stared at each other, nothing but the occasional rustling of the leaves can be heard. He even started to make funny faces which didn't even affect me.

He sighed in defeat and took his bag which is beside him. "Mr. Pixis told us that we're not going to have any classes tomorrow but he told us to listen to some of these composers' songs. Do you have any bias?"

He gave me a royal blue covered notebook in which I took. I opened it and a laugh escaped my lips.

"Levi! Don't laugh! You're offending me!"

I looked up from the notebook to look at him and saw how red his ears are. "Damn, I know that your hand writing is not good but I didn't know that it's this bad. It looks like it's been trampled by dozens of elephants."

With a hand covering his face, he replied. "I know that I shouldn't have shown it to you." He removed his hands on his face. "In the end, your writing doesn't define who you are as a person!"

I rolled my eyes and stood up before looking down at him. "Wanna go get some ice cream, brat?"

*****

"Hey, Levi. You didn't tell me who's the composer that you like."

I looked up from my ice cream and cringed with what I saw. With a frown, I took the napkin beside me and leaned over the table to reach him. He looked confused, but didn't asked. I wiped the mess he had beside his lips before leaning back to my seat.

"As far as I know, I'm your boyfriend, not your baby sitter. Stop eating like the brat you are, will you?"

"Oh, uh, sorry." He looked down and I saw the reddening of his ears. I rolled my eyes and took his notebook out of my bag. I scanned the names written before making my decision.

"I like Liszt, Mozart and Beethoven. I like some of Bach's pieces, but those three are what I like the most."

I returned him his notebook and he took it with shaking hands. What the fuck is wrong with him?

"Oi, Eren. Is there something wrong?"

He shot his head up and looked at me with wide eyes. "No, there's nothing wrong. I just have this unsettling feeling."

My eyebrow made an arch. I wanted to tell him that I also feel that but I decided against it. It wouldn't help him calm down.

"Don't mind it. That'll go away."

With a sigh, he scooped some of his ice cream and ate it. I also started eating and looked outside, leaning my chin on my palm.

"Levi." I looked at him and saw a spoonful of chocolate ice cream near my face. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Eat it."

I opened my mouth and ate the ice cream he's offering me. He smiled and scooped another one for him.

"What was that for?"

He swallowed first before answering. "When you and Erwin ate the last time, he did that to you." He shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I did that to remove that image in my head and replace it."

I snorted and rolled my eyes before I scooped some ice cream and offered it to him. He smiled widely and leaned in, making a show as he ate it. I glared at him despite the warmth that crept up on my cheek.

We continued eating like that, offering each other with our own ice cream. I can't help but feel warm despite the coldness of the food. Seeing him smile is enough to do that.

When we're finished eating and just wasting our time chatting, Eren's phone rang. He took his phone and read the message before looking at me.

"Sorry Levi but I have to go. I have to go somewhere with Armin to go buy things for our project."

"It's okay, I'll just go home." We stood up and went outside together. He walked me to my car, saying that he'll just go to his destination by himself despite my offer.

"I'll call you later." He leaned in and gave me a kiss. I grabbed him by his collar when he started to break it, causing our kiss to last longer. I let go of his collar and broke the kiss, both of us catching our breaths.

I entered my car and started the engine, Eren still standing outside with a wide smile on his lips.

"Don't miss me too much, Yeager."

He laughed and entered his head through the open window beside me. With a peck on my cheek, he replied. "You bet your perfect ass, Ackerman."

Giving me one last smile, he bid his goodbye and walked away. When his figure is out of sight, I started to drive away from the place.

It didn't take long until I reached our place. I entered the house and I didn't saw anyone. I went to my room and walked straight to my bathroom. Maybe a shower can help this unsettling feeling to go away.

I devoid myself of any clothes and went to the tub. I opened the faucet and it started to fill the tub with water as I stayed there, waiting for my body to be submerged in water.

I stayed there for a good hour, relaxing my stiff body. My mind contains nothing but Eren and I'm not complaining. The brat's smile is enough to send me into comfort.

I dried myself and wrapped my body with a towel before I left the bathroom. I get dressed with a gray joggers, plain black shirt and underwear. Without anything else to do, I decided to just go and read a book to pass time. The shows that are being shown in the TV are all shits.

As I silently sat on my bed, my back leaning on the headboard and a book in hand, I started reading in peaceful silence. That is until my phone rang.

With a scowl, I reached for my phone on my nightstand. My scowl soften when I saw Eren's name on the caller ID. I don't fucking know the damn reason why but my guts is telling me that something bad is going to happen.

I tapped the answer button and placed the phone on my ear. I was met with a variety of noises— there is also a sound of an ambulance's siren. My brows furrowed as my breath became unstable. What the fuck is happening?

"Eren?" No one answered. It took a minute until someone spoke.

 _"L-Levi..."_ That's Armin. I can feel my energy draining as the silence went on.

"Why do you have Eren's phone? Where is he?"

_"H-he's here in the hospital."_

" Why is he there?"

My mind started to make conclusions. The noises, the ambulance, Armin's trembling voice...

"Fucking answer me!"

A startled noise and deep breaths are what I received.

_" L-Levi, Eren... He... he..."_

No, it can't be. My fucking mind is just messing with me.

"God fucking dammit, Armin! Just fucking tell me!"

_"He... he got in an accident."_

*****


	19. A Deep Slumber

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to update two chapters every week. I hope that it's enough for the wait. On with the story then! :)

**Levi's** **PoV**

_"He got in an accident."_

His words rang throughout my head but I cannot process it. I couldn't speak. What did he just say? Eren got in an accident?

I stared with wide eyes at the void in front of me. I felt like my world stopped, starting to shatter as Armin's words started to all make sense to me.

"W-what hospital? Tell me where he is."

_"He's here at Trost Hospital. Please hurry—"_

I ended the call and strode out of the room without wasting a single breath, not minding the clothes I'm wearing. Appearance comes last in my mind. Eren needs me.

With my car key in hand, I slammed our  house's door shut and got inside my car. I drove fast, only my goal to reach Eren in mind. I almost got myself in an accident for a couple of times but I didn't care. I need to be in the goddamn hospital as fucking fast as I can.

Worry and anxiety is building up inside me. Plenty of questions clouded my mind and I couldn't think straight. What did he do to get himself in an accident? How is his condition now?

What if... he's dead?

I shook my head frantically to dismiss my thoughts. Fucking stop thinking about that. He's not dead. NOT. DEAD.  He can't be fucking dead. It has only been a few days since we've been together. He can't be dead. I won't let it.

He has always been my happiness. I won't let a fucking accident to take my only source of happiness away from my grasp.

I parked my car and slammed the door shut before jogging my way to the hospital's entrance. I saw Armin standing in a corner near the corridor with a stressed and worried look on his face.

"Where is he?!" He flinched when he heard my distressed voice.

"He's still in the emergency room. It's this way."

He led me further down the corridor, passing through different rooms to reach the one where a sign _Emergency_ _Room_ in red light will be seen. As we got closer and closer, the tension in the air got thicker and thicker, making it harder to breathe. When I saw the room, I felt my heart stop. Eren is in there, shitty machines clinging to his body, surrounded by doctors and nurses as he fights for his life.

My knees buckled and Armin supported me before I get contact to the ground. I pushed him away and stabled myself before I used my weak legs to walk to the emergency room.

"Wait, Levi. You're not allowed to go in—"

"Eren is inside that goddamn room, Armin! My boyfriend is in there! What do you fucking expect me to do?! Sit here as I pathetically wait for those shitty people to tell me that he's dead?!"

"Levi, calm down. Raging like that won't help Eren. Let's just wait for what the doctors will say. Have some faith in him."

"Dammit!" I kicked the wall before my legs completely buckled. I heard some footsteps coming our way but I didn't bother to look at it. I just kept staring at the ground beneath me.

"Levi!" I heard Mikasa's voice. I ignored it as my mind lose it's ability to think straight. The only thing in my mind now is Eren. Eren. _Eren._

That shitty brat. I thought that he won't leave me. Then what the fuck is he doing in that goddamn emergency room?

Just when I thought that everything's gonna be fine, life has to do a fucking 180 to change every damn thing. Why does it has to be us? We just started a new chapter together. Why does this need to fucking happen?

Is this life that fucking cruel to take everything from me that fast?

"Levi, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay. He'll be fine." Mikasa's voice is soft as she tried to comfort me.

Nothing's okay. I won't be okay until one of those shitty doctors come out of that fucking room and tells us that he's fine. That he's safe.

Mikasa helped me to stand on my feet since it feels like I lost all of my strength. She supported me by placing my hand over her shoulder and walked me to one of the closest seats. She sat down beside me and started to rub my back, trying to coax me into believing that he's fine.

 _He_ _isn't_ _fine. No_ _fine_ _person_ _will be_ _inside_ _a goddamn_ _emergency_ _room,_ _surrounded_ _by doctors and_ _nurses_ _as_ _they_ _fight for_ _their_ _life._ _Eren_ _is_ _exactly_ _doing_ _that._ _He's_ _not_ _fine_ _._

I wanted to tell that to her but I couldn't. I can't even open my mouth and urge myself to speak. My limbs felt dead, my head is so heavy I couldn't even lift it up.

I feel so fucking weak and pathetic. Never in my life had I experienced this, but out all of times it has to be now. I'm so useless. I can't do anything to help him.

My mind is numb, so is my heart. My mind is corrupted by the thoughts of losing him but I can't even cry. No matter how hard I fucking try, there's no tears coming out.

I hate myself. I should be crying for him. I feel scared. I feel sad. But no tears are pouring out to help me lessen the weight of this. Numbness took over my whole being, making me unable to feel anything. I hate myself for that.

I don't want to lose him. I can't even imagine how my life will be without him. I'd rather die with him than live a shitty life without him.

I heard a door open and I did my best to lift my head up. A man came out of the emergency room. I guess it's one of the doctors aiding Eren.

"Anyone here for Eren Yeager?"

Pathetically gathering what little strength left in me, I stood up with my feeble legs and walked to the doctor.

"How is he?" Even I am surprised by how desperate my voice sounds like.

"I'll assume that you know him. The accident fractures a few bones but what really took most of the damage is his head. From what we saw, we can guess that when he got hit by a car, his head was slammed to the ground, greatly causing damage to it.

We're still not finished operating him and it might take a few hours depending on how much damage we will further discover. He lost too much blood and we need to replenish it. He might survive but there's a big possibility that he wouldn't. I can't guarantee you anything, but we'll try our best."

With what the doctor said, I snapped. Without giving much thought, I grabbed his collar down to my level, giving him the best death glare that I can fucking do.

"Don't throw us that shit. 'Try our best'? Bullshit! Don't fucking try. Do it. You're a fucking doctor. You better save his life or else—"

"Levi, calm down." Mikasa clamped her hand on my shoulder before forcing me to remove my grip on the collar of the fucking sorry excuse for a doctor.

"W-we'll do our very best. Please excuse me." The shitty doctor scrambled away in a hurry. I shrugged Mikasa's arm off of my shoulder before slumping back to one of the seats. I threw my head back and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath letting the sterile scent of the hospital enter my lungs.

The beating of my heart is at a crazy pace. It is crazy, like the shitty situation we were in. Just the thought of losing Eren is enough to drive me off the edge.

"Come on, Levi. Talk to me." Mikasa's voice cut me off of my trance. I opened my eyes and gave her a blank stare, my face showing the same. "Just stop thinking about the worst. He'll be fine. Believe in him. Do you really think that he'll just leave you like that?"

"Stop thinking about the worst?" I shook my head as I let out a bitter laugh. "Fuck, Mikasa. Can you hear yourself? How could I not? You fucking heard it yourself. There's a big chance that he won't make it. What do you fucking want me to do? Act like my boyfriend isn't inside that fucking room fighting his life from goddamn death? Easy for you to say since you're not in my damn position. We just fucking started. There's plenty of things that we wanted to do but now I'm not even sure if he'll get out of that fucking room breathing."

"I know that it's hard for you. It's also hard for us but we need to be strong for him."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my black locks. This is too stressful. No amount of words can calm me down. I need a breathing and living proof that he's okay, not some futile attempt for comfort.

"Please just... don't talk to me. I need my time alone." She reluctantly stood up and went to Armin's side. I don't want to push her away but I needed solitude.

As time passes by, I'm starting to lose all hope that I mustered deep within me. Every tick of the clock seems to stretch in minutes as time seems to move slower. No matter how painful the thought is and how hard it is to fucking deny it, some part of me started to feel like he wouldn't make it. That he wouldn't get out of that room alive.

No. Fucking stop thinking about that, Levi. There's a big chance that he wouldn't make it? Fuck that. He will make it. I know he will. He can't fucking leave me hanging.

After some hours which felt like years, another doctor came out. I stood up as fast as I can and went to him.

"How's he?"

The doctor removed his hair cap, gloves and face mask before answering. "The operation is successful but there's still something not to be celebrated about. We discovered that his hippocampus was damaged, the part where his memories and information is stored and processed. His brain received too much shock from the accident causing him to a comatose state. I can't tell you when he's going to wake up or if he will ever wake up. That all depends on his will to live. If he ever wakes up, there's a chance that he'll have an amnesia due to the damage his hippocampus received, but we cannot asses which type it will be. All we can do now is hope for the best. He will be transferred to an ICU in a minute. Sorry for the news, Levi."

My mind is too shocked to even process the fact that he called me by my name. I felt like I wanted to collapse. This is all too much to fucking take.

Eren's in a coma, and I can't do anything but wait.


	20. An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I told you that I'll never leave you. I promised you that and that's what I'm going to do. I won't give up on you even if the world does." I cupped his cheek and caressed it. "Do you want to know why?"
> 
> I took a deep breath and removed his breathing mask to put a chaste kiss on his lips. "It's because I love you, brat. So hurry the fuck up and wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously don't know what to put at the chapter summary. XD Anyways, I hope that you'll enjoy the chapter. I'll be doing double updates so you an read the next chapter today. Enjoy!

**Levi's** **PoV**

"When did you came back from Germany?" Mikasa's voice pierced through the silence that reigned over us. I looked at the man. He has long brown hair, glasses, a beard. Wait. He looks familiar.

"I just got here today. I was preparing to go home but I was asked to stay and help with an operation. I didn't know that it'll be my own son." That's why he looks so damn familiar. He's Eren's father, Grisha Yeager. I saw him in one of the family pictures displayed at Eren's.

He looked so hurt, and I realize how painful it is to see your son in that position. My heart clenched and I closed my hands into fists.

As silence reigned once again, a faint sound of footsteps can be heard. I looked back and saw a woman carrying a sleeping child. Both of them have tear stained faces which made me confused.

The woman turned to Arlert. "How's he?"

Why is she asking about Eren?

"I don't want to be rude but, who are you? Why are you asking about Eren?" Mikasa, looking as confused as I am, did the questioning.

"He saved my child's life. I was talking with someone about work and I didn't paid too much attention to her. I just saw her crossing the street and was about to get hit by a car when this guy pushed her out of the way. I just want to thank him and ask how I can repay him."

I stared at the little girl she's carrying. She started to stir and slowly opened her eyes eventually. She rubbed her eyes before looking at her mother.

"Where is the angel, mommy? I want to see him and thank him. Maybe I'll give him a kiss on his cheek."

Sharp pain assaulted my heart repeatedly. The reason why Eren is in coma is because he saved this girl's life. No matter how much I tried to at least feel a little anger towards the child, I couldn't find myself doing so. It's a life that Eren saved, readily sacrificing his own to let this child's own to be longer.

Eren really is an angel.

"He's in a coma. We don't know when he's going to wake up." Armin's voice came out as a barely audible whisper but enough for the woman to hear. Her eyes widen as shock took over her senses.

"You..." I finally had the ability to speak again. The woman turned to look at me. "Take care of your child better. You're fucking lucky that my boyfriend is there to save your child's life 'cause if not, your child is the one in his position or maybe even worse. I know that you wouldn't like that."

"Excuse me." A nurse interrupted us. "The patient is already transferred to the ICU, you can visit him now."

"I'll check on him. You can follow in a minute or so." Grisha excused himself before he went away. I looked at the woman again.

"Another thing, you don't have to do anything to repay him. I know that knowing that your child is safe is enough for him." Sparing one last glance to the child, I walked away.

I went to the ICU with my mind blank. I wonder how I reached the place but I just did. The only thing I remember is that I'm talking to a woman outside the emergency room and the next thing I know, I was dressed in a green hospital dress, wearing a green hair cap as my hands and mouth is covered by gloves and mask. I took deep breaths to steady my breathing as I mentally prepared myself from what's going to welcome my sight.

I slowly opened the ICU's door using my shaking hands. My breath was caught in my lungs as I felt my world crumbled when I saw Eren.

In contrast to the lively brunet brat that I love, the Eren lying on the bed with machines clinging to his body right now looks lifeless. His sun kissed skin looks so pale because of the loss of blood, cuts and bruises covering his skin. His head was covered by bandage, both of his arms needled in which is connected to a bag of blood and a dextrose.

Just the sight of him like that is enough to drain the life out of me.

"Eren..." I sounded so fucking helpless but I  didn't care. That's exactly what my state is now, helpless. I can't do anything for him but to wait until he wakes up. It fucking sucks.

I walked to him using my weak legs, my shaking hand reaching out to him. I watched how his chest barely moved when he breathe in and out. I held his cheek, caressing it with my thumb.

"Eren, come on. Wake up, you shitty brat."

I want to see him awake and well again. I wanted to see his turquoise eyes and drown in them again, as I stare at his burning passion. I want to hear his voice again, the voice that brings me comfort and make me feel loved whenever he say those three words. I want to take a glimpse of those perfect smile of his, enough to brighten up and give warmth to my dull and cold world.

I want to be with the brat that I'd grown to love.

I sat down on the chair beside his bed, aware of the fact that if I stayed standing for a minute longer, my knees will give up. I held his hand in mine, keeping in mind about the needles and tubes connected to him. I started tracing circles at the back of his hand.

The door opened but I didn't bother to look, keeping my eyes fixed on Eren. Soft sounds of footsteps are heard and it didn't take long until a voice broke the silence.

"Levi." The voice was deep, belonging to an old man. Guessing that it's his father, I stayed silent. "Eren always talk about you these past few days. He always talks so loud I need to keep my phone not too close to my ear. I can almost hear his smile through the phone call."

He walked to the other side of the bed bringing his hand to Eren's head before lightly stroking his hair, a sad smile painted on his lips. I stayed unresponsive as I continued stroking gentle touches to Eren's hand.

"It's been too long since I've heard him like that. He's so happy that he couldn't contain it. Since Carla's death, I barely hear him talk to me like that. I guess he's mad at me because I'm always away from them. It's nice to hear him like that again."

I looked up and saw him looking down at me. I maintained eye contact for awhile before I returned my gaze to Eren.

"I guess I need to thank you. You made him truly happy again. You brought back the happiness he once lost when he lost his mother. You are the best person for my son and I hope that you won't give up on him."

"I won't..." He smiled when he heard my response, walking over to my side to pat my back. He left the room without another word, leaving me alone with Eren.

Nothing but the beeping sound of the machine filled the air. The air's so thick with worry, it's constricting my lungs as I find it harder to breath. I didn't break my gaze away from him, fearing that if I did, he'll be taken away. Every fiber of my being trembled at the thought of losing him. I closed my eyes as I took deep breaths to steady my erratic breathing.

My heart felt like it's bound by a vine with thorns, squeezing it at the very thought of him not being able to survive. My stomach tying itself in knots but not because of the same reason why it did in the past few days, but because of what awaits me if ever I lose him. My mind is in turmoil, having two different thoughts on whether he will survive or not. I wanted to stop doubting if he'll wake up or not, but it's fucking hard not to if he's in this state.

I heard the door open again and I heard the faint gasps coming from the persons who entered.

"Eren..." Mikasa's voice broke the silence and after a few seconds, both Mikasa and Armin are on the other side. Armin's already in tears while Mikasa looks like he's on the verge of doing the same. I envy them. They can cry while I'm keeping it all within me, unable to release the pain in the form of those salty liquid. I won't be surprised if someday I'll just burst all of these fucking emotions.

"Eren, wake up. Eren." Mikasa gently shook Eren's shoulder in attempt to wake him up. Tears started to fall from her eyes, repeatedly calling Eren's name. "Eren, don't joke around. Please wake up."

Armin held her shoulder to stop her from shaking Eren up. The sight of seeing her cry pains me but I can't fucking do anything. No one can stop us from hurting except him. Except Eren.

"Mikasa, stop shaking him. His body isn't in a good condition. You'll hurt him." Mikasa stopped and looked at me before making her way beside me. She sat on the chair beside me before leaning her head on my chest, clutching at the fabric of my shirt as she cried her heart out.

"Levi, h-he can't be d-dead. H-he can't leave u-us." I closed my eyes as both of Armin's and Mikasa's cries pierced its way to my heart, intensifying the pain it's suffering. I put my arms around her, one patting her back while the other one strokes her black locks.

"He'll be fine. He'll wake up. You told that to me earlier, right? He won't leave us. I won't allow him to." I tried to comfort her while patting her back. It didn't take long until she stopped crying as well as Armin.

They stayed for an hour longer before they went home. They insisted about staying but I didn't allowed them. We have school tomorrow and they need to rest.

I was once again left by myself with my thoughts. I just stared at him, hoping to see him open his eyes but it didn't happen. They are still closed, putting himself to a state of slumber that none of us know when will it fucking end.

"Oi, shitty brat. I need you to wake up and you'll fucking do it whether you like it or not."

I held his hand once again, lowering the mask covering my mouth. I placed a gentle kiss on the back of his palm.

"I told you that I'll never leave you. I promised you that and that's what I'm going to do. I won't give up on you even if the world does." I cupped his cheek and caressed it. "Do you want to know why?"

I took a deep breath and removed his breathing mask to put a chaste kiss on his lips. "It's because I love you, brat. So hurry the fuck up and wake up."


	21. Left Alone

**Levi's POV**

Days came and went by slowly. Every damn second feels like years, my heart is slowly succumbing to withering.

It's been a week since the accident. A week full of worry and doubting as well as hope and convincing. Whenever I felt like losing hope, I always remind myself about his promise, his promise that he would never leave me. I trust him so damn much and so I believe that he will. I don't fucking care how long I need to wait. I'll wait for him.

"Levi, sweetie, you need to eat and rest. You should also take care of yourself."

This has always been happening this past week. My mom always tells me to eat and sleep, always reminding me that I also need to take care of myself but I just can't. I've never felt hunger, and every time I close my eyes, the sight of Eren lying on the hospital bed enters my head, cold and lifeless as the beeping of the heart's monitor went to a single beep, the line it's showing is straight. I would always shot my eyes open, wide in fear as I frantically look at the heart monitor, checking if his heart is still beating, checking his body if he still have his comforting warmth. I'm sweating but I feel cold every time it happens, the fact that it could happen in reality is always being slapped at my face.

It's the fucking cold, bitter truth, and there's nothing that I can do but to hold on to his promise.

Just like what I always did these past few days, I didn't respond. I just stared at Eren's figure in front of me, holding his hand in mine, reminding me that he's still here, only sleeping but still alive.

"Levi, please. You're so thin, you look sicker than Eren." I took a deep breath and looked up at her, making me see how worried she looked. A pang of guilt struck me. I didn't want her to worry about me.

With a sigh, I reluctantly stood up and let go of Eren's hand, already missing his warmth even without a minute passing. I looked at her and she smiled a little, relief flooding her eyes. She started walking out and I followed, taking one last glance at Eren before closing the door behind me.

We sat down on the seats outside the room, my mom bringing out some packed food. It's some sort of chicken pasta but I didn't bother to recall what it's called. The food's name is the least important thing now, especially with the way my stomach reacted when I took the food in my hands.

"Come on, you need to eat." She took a fork and handed it to me. "Please, Levi. Eat even if it's just a little."

Even eating seems like a task to me. The fork felt ridiculously heavy in my hand, my stomach churning as I neared the food to my mouth. I opened my mouth and put the food in, immediately noticing how bland it tasted. My mom always is a great cook but because of what's happening, nothing really is appetizing.

After forcing myself to eat a few times, I started to feel like I'm going to puke. Acid is building up in my throat and I put the food down before running to the nearest bathroom. I slammed the door open and went to the nearest sink. I heaved, but nothing came out. It isn't surprising considering that I didn't had any food on my stomach. I only drank water to prevent myself from dehydrating.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My mother's right. My skin is so pale, paler than it's usual look, making it seems like all of my blood was drained out of me. The bags beneath my eyes are big and dark proving that I didn't get any sleep. I became so thin that I started to think that if strong winds will blow, I'll be blown away like a fucking sheet of paper. My eyes looks so dead, not a single hint of emotion can be seen across it.

I look so lifeless.

I don't want to look at myself.

I turned away and went back to where my mom is. When I was a few feet away, I saw two figures standing with their backs facing me. I knew who the two were even without seeing their faces.

"We were really worried about him. We haven't seen him the whole week at school and— Levi?!" Hanji looked at me in shock, surprised at how I look now. Even Erwin is doing the same. I gave the both of them a blank look, not actually caring about how much I had changed in the past week.

I didn't speak. Hanji lifted their hand to touch my face but before it made contact with me, I swatted it away.

"Oh god, Levi. What happened to you? Did you sleep or eat at all?" Hanji's voice reflected the look on their face, overflowing with worry.

"What do you think?" My voice sounded so raspy due to being unused.

Hanji sighed and turned to look at my mother. "Can we talk to him?"

My mother nodded in response. "It's okay. I'll accompany Eren while Levi's gone."

Both of them said their thanks before dragging me to wherever hell they're going to take me. I tried to break free from their grips, not wanting to leave Eren's side. I guess that all of those sleepless nights and not eating anything came back to bite me in the ass now. I feel as weak as a baby and I cannot get them off of my arms.

"Fucking let go of me. I need to stay beside Eren."

They ignored me and just continued to walk, leading me to the rooftop. They only let me go once we reached the place.

"Didn't you hear what I said? I told you that I need to stay with Eren! What part of that is too fucking hard to understand?!"

They looked at me with a serious look on their faces. They just stared at me and I stared back. I need to get back to Eren.

"Levi, we're so worried about you. You need to take care of your—"

"I'm taking care of myself." My statement came out before Hanji even finished. I heard Erwin groaned in frustration.

"You're taking care of yourself? Hah, that's the best joke I've ever heard. Do you see yourself in the mirror, Levi?" I didn't answer. I don't want to prolong this shit by arguing. "You look sicker than the patients here. Are you killing yourself?"

"Levi, you need to listen to us. All of us are being affected by Eren's condition. We understand that it's hard but—"

"No, you fucking don't!" My shout cut them off. "None of you understand! You are not in my damn position to know what I fucking feel!" I ran my hand through my hair. They looked shocked about my sudden outburst, looking at me with wide eyes.  "Do you really think that I want whatever fuck is happening to me?  If you think that I did, you're fucking wrong! I didn't want any of this. I didn't want to see the sight of Eren laying dead on the bed every fucking time I close my damn eyes. But can I do anything about it? I fucking don't!

"You don't know what it fucking feels like to have someone you love more than your own life being taken away from you by death. He's only hanging by a thread and anytime he can be taken away from me. You don't know the fear and the pain I'm suffering whenever I face the truth that he might die any second. That he might die without us being able to say goodbye. You're not in my position so don't you fucking dare tell me that you understand because you don't. Not even a little."

I quickly walked away, not wanting to stay there a minute longer. They remained standing there, watching me walk away.

I went back to the ICU and told my mother to leave me with Eren alone. She left and went home while I stayed beside Eren.

"Eren..." I took his hand and kissed it, staring at his face. He looks so peaceful despite the cuts and bruises on his face. "How are you, shitty brat? They always said that people in coma can hear when people are speaking to them. Is that true?"

I received no answer. What do I expect? That he'll suddenly wake up and talk to me? Fucking pathetic.

"When are you going to wake up? I'm so sick of hearing the doctors say that there's only a little chance of you being able to survive. I want to smash their fucking faces to the wall. I know that you'll survive. I know that you'll wake up. So wake the fuck up, will you?"

I felt the throbbing of my heart as nothing but the sound of the beeping machine came as an answer. Before, I would've been very irritated by it's high pitched sound constantly assaulting my ear but now I didn't actually care. Those beeps are always reminding me that his heart is still beating, reminding me that the thin, fragile thread that's holding his life is still not breaking.

My hand traveled from his hands to his arm up to his cheeks. I caressed it using my thumb just like what I always did.

"You shitty brat. You still have a promise to live up for. What's going to happen to that if you don't wake up? I fucking hate it when promises are broken. Don't make me hate you because of that."

My eyes started to sting. I can feel tears welling up inside me. After a week, I think I can finally release some of the pain that's continuously building up.

"I love you, Eren. There's no word that can explain how much I fucking love you. You're my happiness. I don't think that I'll ever be happy again if you leave me.  So please, Eren. Please open your eyes. I miss you, shitty brat."  
I kissed his forehead, a single tear rolled down from my left eye.

The beeping of the machine slowed down, catching my attention. I looked at it and my breath hitched when I saw how Eren's heart beat is slowing down.

"No. No, no, no." I shook my head as my body started to tremble in fear. "Eren, you can't die on me. You can't leave me."

I heard the door opened. "Levi—"

"Mikasa, c-call the d-doctor."

"Levi, what—"

"Eren's dying! Fucking call the goddamn doctors!"

Without another word, she ran outside. My breath is getting heavy, my heart is beating frantically.

"Eren. Eren, please, don't leave me. P-please..." My voice cracked, the tears from my eyes continuously falling. I held his hand and checked his pulse, noticing how weak the beat is. "Eren, please. I still need you. Don't leave me alone..."

Seconds later, Eren's father and nurses came. I saw a worried look on Grisha's face as he hurriedly went beside his son.

"His heart beat's getting scarce. We need to hurry or else we'll be too late." I took a few steps back and my knees gave up. I landed on the floor, the sight of Eren slowly dying drained all of my strength. Mikasa held me, wrapping me with her arms as both of us cry.

They started to defibrillate him and I watched how his body jumped with each shock the device brought his body. My mind blocked everything but the sight of Eren.

_Please_ _,_ _Eren_ _._ _Don't_ _die,_ _don't_ _leave me alone._


	22. Finally Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I swear I'm the worst. Sorry for leaving this fic hanging.But since I'm here, I'm going to update the remaining chapters of this story in the next days.
> 
> Thank you for those of you who took the time to read this, and to those who left a kudos, comment or bookmarked this. I appreciate ALL of it.
> 
> Without further adieu, Enjoy.

I have never been so fucking scared my whole life but the sight of Eren nearly dying is more than enough to set me trembling.

"Clear!"

"It's okay, Levi. He won't die." Mikasa continued to ground me using her arms. I should be the one doing this to her as an older brother, but how will I do it if I can't even utter a single damn word?

"Clear!" Eren's father is continuously defibrillating him, his body jolting with each contact of the defibrillator with his chest. My heart is hammering in my chest, its aching becoming more and more painful as each second ticks by. I don't want to see Eren like this, I don't want to watch him in this condition but my eyes couldn't look away.

After a few more times, Eren's heart beat returned to normal. Relief washed over me as well as Grisha and Mikasa. The nurses soon left when his condition finally became stable while Grisha stayed beside his son.

"I'm glad that you're okay, Eren."  He stroked his son's hair a bit before looking at us. "Thank you for looking over at him, if we have arrived a minute later we could've lost him."

"I wouldn't let him die, especially not in front of me." I went to my usual place beside him and held his hand again. A wave of assurance took over me when I felt the warmth coming off of him.

Grisha left to continue his work, leaving me and Mikasa in the room. Mikasa sat on the other side, holding his other hand. Silence took over the room until Mikasa spoke.

"I thought that we're gonna lose him. I'm glad that we didn't."

"He won't die. I won't let him."

You can't die on me, Eren.

*****

It's been a month and a half since I almost lost him. It didn't happen again but I kept myself alert at all times. I wouldn't risk repeating that same goddamn event ever again.

I'm not beside Eren right now. I was fucking forced to go to school and take some shitty tests to make up for my studies. I am taking up online classes and is required to go every Friday to take some tests but I didn't went. That's why I needed to answer shit tons of tests to make up so I won't fail.

I just finished taking the tests for my other subjects, leaving English the last thing to finished. The tests aren't that hard considering that I got a lot of time to study while I'm in the hospital.

I decided to take a little break. I leaned my elbow on the desk and rested my chin on it before looking outside, my other hand twirling my pen. I was alone inside an empty room, leaving the place very silent.

That's why I clearly heard when the door opened. I ignored it assuming that it's just one of the shitty teachers in this hellhole but was proven wrong when I heard a familiar voice

"Hey, Shorty."

"Shitty Glasses."

A sigh of relief came out of them when I acknowledge their presence. I haven't been able to talk to them since the last time they dragged me to that goddamn rooftop. They're busy with school and I was always in the hospital.

"How's he?" Even without saying his name, I knew that they were talking about Eren.

"Still asleep." I broke my gaze away from the window and watched them sat on one of the chairs near me.

They gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry about last time. We were just so worried about you that we didn't think about what you feel."

I sighed and slumped on my seat, running my hand through my hair as I stared at the ceiling. "You shouldn't be sorry. It's my fault. I'm just very stressed about the brat's condition so I snapped. It's just your and Erwin's fucking luck that you're the one I snapped at."

"You really aren't giving up on him, are you?" They gave me a smile. I don't know what they wanted to tell me with that smile.

"I won't. I know that he'll wake up. Eren's just being a lazy little shit." They laughed and shook their head before looking at the stack of papers on my desk.

"That's a ton."

"Yeah, now shut up. I'll finish this shit."

I continued the tests, carefully reading and writing my answers to the questions. Hanji stayed silent in which I'm thankful for.

While reading, sudden dizziness hit me. My sight blurred and my world is suddenly spinning. I put my pencil down first before massaging my temple. I groaned as another wave of dizziness hit me.

"Hey, Levi. Are you okay?" Hanji went to my side, crouching. They rubbed my back in hope of helping. It didn't. "Is there something wrong?"

I shook my head and stopped them from rubbing my back. "It's nothing. I'm just a little dizzy."

I continued working on my test, ignoring the dizziness. The words started to become a jumbled mess of shits, making me unable to understand anything.

"Oi, Shitty Glasses. Come with me to the clinic." I stood up and my surroundings spun again. I held the edge of the table for support. What the fuck is happening to me?

I started to walk out of the room without the help of Shitty Glasses. While walking, the dizziness I felt didn't cease but intensified. I was only able to take a few steps before I lost my balance and I held on to Hanji.

"Shit, Levi. You're so pale. I'll bring you to the hospital." I was going to argue but before I can even utter a word, my sight went black.

When I woke up, all that I saw is white. I looked around and there is nothing but white. The sterile scent in the air was immediately recognized by my senses and it wouldn't take a fucking genius to know that I'm in the hospital, and now I am also laying on a shitty bed with a damn dextrose connected to my bloodstream. Great. So fucking great.

I groaned while sitting up. The door opened and my mom entered, a basket full of fruits in her hand.

"Levi!" She hurried to my side, placing the basket on the nightstand beside the bed. "You're finally awake. I've been so worried about you."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I've only been sleeping for a day."

She's the one who rolled her eyes this time. "Levi, if you think that you only slept for a day, think again."

I looked at her confused. What is she talking about? "Huh?"

"You've been sleeping for four days straight, Levi." My eyes widen a fraction. I've been sleeping for four damn days? Fuck.

"Are you sure or you're just playing with me?" It couldn't be true that I've been out for that long. "Wait, how's Eren?"

"I'm telling you the truth, Levi. About Eren, he still isn't awake but his condition's stable. Mikasa's looking out for him now, don't worry."

I just nod and leaned my back on the metal headboard of the bed. "Can I see him?"

I looked to my left and saw her peeling an apple. "Later. But first you need to eat." She placed the peeled and sliced apple on a plate before giving it to me. "Eat this."

"I'm not hungry. I'll just go see him."

"Levi, stop acting like a child. The reason why you're here is because you neglected yourself. If you don't eat that, I won't allow you to see Eren today."

I didn't protest. I just sighed and mindlessly ate the apple. As I did, the door opened and two figures entered the room.

"Hey, Shorty."

"Hi, Mrs. Ackerman. Levi, are you okay?"

I rolled my eyes and ate the small piece of the apple in my hand. "At least give me a fucking decent greeting."

"I greeted you!"

"I said the word 'decent', shit face."

Erwin sighed. "Hello, Levi. There. Now answer me."

"Fucking great. I didn't know that hospital beds are so goddamn comfortable to sleep at." My answer is literally screaming sarcasm which made Erwin's eye roll. They sat on the couch at the corner of the room near the bed. My mom offered them apples and Erwin politely declined while Hanji accepted. Usual Shitty Glasses.

"Yeah, you're fine. I already confirmed it." I raised an eyebrow at them. "You're rude as always. That's how."

Ignoring their statement , I shifted the topic away from me. "What day is it? Why are the two of you here?"

"It's already Saturday, Levi. We came to check on you."

I just nodded and closed my eyes. So it's been two months since Eren was in coma, huh? I really miss that brat.

"Levi? Hey, Levi. Are you okay?"

Without opening my eyes, I answered. "Yeah."

They reluctantly continued talking, not believing what I had said. Why wouldn't they? Even I didn't believe that statement. Am I okay? I'm fucking not. I'm fucking far from being okay.

It has been two months since I last heard his voice, last felt his arms around me, last felt his warmth enveloped me, last saw his beautiful turquoise eyes. Two months since he last kissed me. Two fucking long months since I last heard him say those three words to me and I'm scared that it might really be the last.

Just the thought of that kills me slowly deep inside. I've built walls around me to protect myself from being hurt but that shitty brat easily infiltrated it. The ridiculous thing is that I had let him and now, this is what's happening to me.

I've been living my life for the past two months in constant fear of him dying. It scares the shit out of me, but in the back of my mind, there's also another thing bugging me. A question that even I couldn't answer.

"Mom, can I go see Eren?"

She looked at me with a sad smile, probably noticing the hint of sadness in my voice. "Of course."

They put me in a wheelchair since my body is too weak to support myself. Erwin pushed the wheelchair while Hanji held the dextrose's metal post. We went to Eren's room and on our way there, we saw Eren's clique came out of his room. Mikasa saw me and her eyes widen, face flooding with relief. Eren's friends left after they insisted that Mikasa didn't need to accompany them out of the hospital and hoped for Eren and my health to get better.

"I'm glad that you're okay, Levi. I've been so worried." I gave her a weak smile and gestured her to lower herself. She crouched down beside me and I ruffled her hair.

"Thanks for worrying. I'm okay now." She smiled a little and stood up, opening the door of Eren's room for us.

We entered and I saw Eren's body still laying on the bed unmoved, those shitty machines still clung to him. The same sight that I've been seeing for the past months.

Erwin placed me beside his bed. I immediately took his hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand before I stroke his brown locks back with my right hand.

"You're still sleeping, huh? Sorry for not being here for the past few days. I fucking collapsed because of you, shitty brat. When the fuck will you wake up?"

I may look like a fucking idiot for talking with someone sleeping but what they think about me isn't my damn concern right now. If he really hears what people tell him, I want him to know that I'm beside him again.

I continued to run my fingers through his hair in silence until Hanji asked the question that I'm always unable to answer. "Levi... what will you do if... if he woke up and didn't remember you?"

The movement of my hand ceased when they asked it. A deafening silence took over the room except for the beeping sound of the machine, like someone pushed a mute button. My mouth went dry as I tried to find an answer and fail miserably.

Hanji, noticing the discomfort the question they blurted out brought, tried to take back what they said.

"Sorry, don't mind—"

"I don't know."

"What?" I heard Erwin inquired. I sighed and continued my hands movements, not removing my gaze from Eren.

"I don't know what I'll do. I've also been asking myself that fucking question for weeks but I really couldn't find a damn answer. I won't know what my answer will be until it happens."

"Sorry, Levi. I was being too insensitive."

"It's okay. There's a possibility that that shit will happen will happen. It's the fucking truth and I couldn't run away from that. I wouldn't even if I could."

"But still—"

"Hanji."

I heard them sighed in defeat. "Okay."

"Leave me with him for a moment." Without wasting any second, they left the room, leaving me with the sleeping brat. "Oi, Eren."

I held his hand. "You really enjoy making me fucking wait, huh? I hate to spoil it for you but should stop it by now. Everybody's worried and is waiting for you to wake up. Wake up now, shitty brat. I know that you hate it when everyone's being stressed because of you and besides..."

I took a deep breath in attempt to stop the welling of tears in my eyes but failed. One tear started to fall out and is followed by another and another, until the tears started to roll down my face continuously. I dropped my head down to the mattress.

"I m-miss you so f-fucking much that I feel like I'm slowly l-losing my sanity. I wanted to talk to you again. Your voice keeps me sane, Eren. Please, please... wake up."

I continued to cry silently into the mattress, still holding his hand. My walls completely crumbled in time with the withering of my heart. I need him. I need my Eren.

I felt something moved in my hand. I lifted my head up to see Eren's point finger moving. I was stunned. It's the first time any part of him moved.

I continued to watch him in silence, my eyes wide and tears are already gone. I watched his finger moved again before hearing a groan.

I looked at his face and watched his eyes slowly opened.

"Eren..." He's awake. He's finally awake. After two fucking long months, he's finally awake.

He squinted his eyes at the brightness. I finally saw his turquoise eyes again. It made my heart swell with joy. I felt like I just found the world's greatest. treasure but no. This is worth more than all the fucking treasures in the world.

He looked around until his gaze landed on me. His gaze trailed down from my face to our hands that are still together and back to my face. He looked at me with obvious confusion.

"Eren, you shitty brat. You're awake. Fucking finally."

The words that came out of his mouth sent my world apart.

"Who... who are you?"


	23. Lost Memories

"Who... who are you?"

I stared at him in shock. What did he just fucking ask? He's asking me who I am?

"Oi, Eren. Fucking stop playing dumb, will you?"

His eyes widen. "How did you know my name? Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Come on, Eren. I'm Levi, your boyfriend. Stop acting now, it's not fucking funny."

I tried to get closer to him but he flinched and raised one hand. He looked at me with wide eyes, traces of fear and confusion in it.

"D-don't get close to me. I don't know who you are."

It can't be. This can't be fucking happening. He just can't forget me like that.

"Eren..." My voice sounded so desperate and I fucking am. He can't forget me like I'm just some useless shit. I'm his goddamn boyfriend for fuck's sake! "Eren, listen to me. I'm Levi, your boyfriend. We just got together two months ago before you got in an accident and was in a coma. You just woke up after sleeping for two months. Don't you remember that?"

"What the hell are you talking about? It's the first time I heard your name. I don't have a boyfriend. Maybe you had mistaken me for someone."

Hearing those words from him fucking shattered not only my heart but my whole being into pieces. What is this? Did he really forget about me? About us?

I want to cry. I want to hurt someone. After waiting for two fucking months this is all I would get? All of our damn memories erased and instantly turning me into a fucking stranger?

"Eren, you can't just forget me like that! You promised me! You even gave me a fucking ring! How could you just forget about that! You couldn't— you... you..."

My legs gave in and my body fell to the floor. My head hang heavily between my shoulder, my gaze fixed on the ring he gave me.

This isn't happening. All of this is just a dream— a fucking nightmare that I'll wake up from. This can't be real.

But if isn't, then why am I hurting so much?

"Look, Levi. I don't —"

I looked up and glared at him. My vision got blurry as my tears started to roll down uncontrollably again. "Have you really forgotten everything about me? About us?"

He's awake, I finally heard his sweet voice, I finally saw his turquoise eyes but instead of feeling happiness, all I can feel is hurt. It hurts so fucking much it should be illegal.

"Sorry but, I really don't have any idea what you're talking about."

Each of his words hit me like a fucking bullet straight to the heart. My chest tightened and suddenly it's harder to breathe. The pain spread throughout my every fiber of my being.

"You promised me, E-Eren. You told me that you love me. That y-you'll never leave me. You promised me, you little shit. You f-fucking promised."

I stood up, using the metal post where the dextrose is hanging for support. "Is it that easy to forget about that? Ha, I fucking wish so. Maybe that way I wouldn't hurt too much."

Taking one last look at his face, I turned around to leave the room. I don't want to see him right now. Just the sight of him hurts me.

I opened the door and went out without looking back. I saw Mikasa, Erwin and Hanji sitting on one of the waiting seats beside the wall of Eren's room. "M-Mikasa..."

She looked up and her eyes widen when she looked at me. I can't stop the tears from my eyes. I feel so dumb, I feel so hurt. I just want to be numb and not feel anything.

"Levi, what happened?" They all stood up and went to me, instantly surrounding me. I stared at the ground, feeling my strength slowly slipping out of me.

"Eren, he's awake." They didn't respond and stayed silent, probably knowing that there's more news. "And he... he can't remember me."

A wave of dizziness hit me and the pain I'm feeling didn't help. My body collapsed and I can't understand anything they said. Slowly, my eyes closed and I welcomed the darkness that consumed me.

Maybe it can take all of the fucking pain away.

*****

A week already passed since Eren woke up. I didn't went to him after that last time so I haven't seen him. Grisha went to my room after I woke up from fainting and told me his son's condition.

From what he told me, Eren has retrograde amnesia, the type of amnesia that would make the patient lose memories but unlike the hysterical amnesia, the patient wouldn't lose all of their memory. In Eren's case, he can't remember the past five years of his life which explains why he couldn't remember me, Mikasa, or any of his clique but he knew who he is, who's his family, and can even remember Armin.

But that fucking fact couldn't stop me from being so goddamn hurt. Just because of a fucking accident I lost everything I have with him. I am a fucking stranger to him, just like those shitty random people he will see in the streets while walking.

I can't take it but there's nothing I can do. I need to take the damn pill and swallow but in my case, it isn't just a pill. It's a fucking boulder of poison that's slowly and painfully killing me.

I stared at the river in front of me, my mind reliving the event that took place in here. Every memory is like a knife, plunging deep into my heart as it replayed in my mind. No matter how painful it is, I didn't care. It reminds me that all of my memories with him isn't something that my mind made up. If he couldn't remember it, at least I do. That's the proof that it happened at some point in the past.

I looked around. The place seems colder and lonelier this time without him. The quiet rustling of the trees' leaves as well as the sound of the river sounded as if it's singing a sad ballad, the moon trying but failing to give light throughout, leaving some place very dark like a void. The cold soft wind touches my skin like ice, making me want to be in his arms once again. Making me want to feel the warmth and safety that only him can give.

This place reminded me of what I feel right now. Cold, sad and as hollow and empty like a void.

I took the ring and held it with my fingers. The color of the stone reminded me of him and the way it shined even with the little amount of light made me think that despite how dark and cold my world is, Eren never failed to shine. Maybe that's what made me fall for him. He never fails to give light to someone's world no matter how hopeless it may seem.

I closed my eyes and leaned on the tree behind me. This place brings happiness and sadness to me. This is where we sealed our promise, the promise that was forgotten by the other.

_"Hey Levi, do you know that I love you?" He leaned his forehead against mine as we move in small circles, grasping tight at each other, never wanting to let go._

_"Hmm, you also know that I feel the same way, right?"_

I clenched my fists as a sharp pain shot my heart. Why does this have to happen? Why can't we just live like a normal couple? Didn't we deserve it?

_"Promise me that you'll never leave me, Eren."_

_He cupped my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "I promise you. I hope that you'll do the same for me."_

_I smiled. "You bet, Yeager."_

Will this be the end of us? A love story that is forgotten without it even being started?

I held the ring close to my heart as I let out a strangled cry. He's everything I ever wanted. Why can't I just have him?

"Eren..." I continued to call out his name despite knowing that no matter how many times I call him, he won't be here. I stood up and faced the tree before throwing a punch.

"Argh!" I continued punching and grunting, not minding the blood that started to come out of my knuckles. It hurts but nothing can compare to the hurt I felt inside.

"Levi! Stop that!" A hand held my arm before it made another contact to the tree. I tried to remove the grip but my arm lost its strength. "Levi, your hand is bleeding. Stop it now."

"Eren..." Mikasa pulled me close to her in a hug. My arms are limp beside me, my head leaning on her shoulder. "Eren..."

"Sshh, it's okay, Levi. It's okay."

She pulled me towards the river before she crouched down, making me do the same. She washed the wound using the river's water, removing the blood on my knuckles.

"We're so worried about you, Levi. You left in the morning without a word. Don't do that again."

She pulled her handkerchief from her pocket and used it to wrap my hand. "H-how did y-you find m-me?" My voice came out as a whisper but it's enough to be heard by her.

Her eyes were focused on the task of wrapping my hand as she answered. "My guts told me. Considering what happened in this place, you're most likely to be here. I thought that I'll be all too late and just found your body drowned, you know?"

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I'm not a fucking idiot to do that." _I'd_ _rather take a_ _bullet_ _straight_ _to the heart,_ _it's_ _faster._

"Oh, yeah? So you're just going to break your knuckle and lose all of your blood?"

She tied the ends of the cloth and checked if it's tight enough before letting go of my hand. I closed and opened my hand and winced when I felt the pain.

"You're lucky that it isn't broken." I muttered ' _Thanks,_ ' and she gave me a nod. She removed her shoes and socks then rolled up her jeans before letting it get soaked by the river.

"I hate what's happening right now. Eren forgot about us. It sucks, really. It's like we didn't became a part of his life."

Hearing Mikasa talked like that, voice quiet, low, and full of hurt made my heart clenched again. I sighed and did what she did, feeling the cold water on my skin. I leaned back on my hands distributing my weight evenly while staring at the water in front of me.

"To be honest," I saw Mikasa  looked at me in the corner of my eye. "I don't know what to do from here."

"You don't?"

I shook my head. "Eren lost his memories about us. It's like our fucking relationship never existed. I don't even know what's our goddamn relationship right now. We didn't broke up, but we're not together. It's fucking confusing."

She looked down to the water beneath us again. "Is that so?"

"Oh, come on. I'm supposed to be the sad one here."

She playfully shoved my shoulder. "Shut up." Both of us chuckled before silence consumed us again.

"It's such a waste."

I looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Your relationship with him, that is. You guys haven't even started yet."

"Yeah, it fucking is."

I laid down on the grass and folded my arms behind my head. She did the same and both of us are now staring at the vast, black sky.

"But there's a chance that he'll remember, right?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Since when did you become so optimistic?"

"I'm only like this when it comes to you and Eren."

"Sorry but the chance of Eren remembering me is likely the chance of me picking other's used condom without wearing gloves."

"But it's not impossible."

"I don't want to raise my hopes up just to watch it crash and burn again, Mikasa."

She sighed and shifted herself until she's near me.

"Maybe there's a reason why this is happening."

I scoffed. "And what reason is that?"

"I don't know. It'll reveal itself sooner or later."

I didn't respond. I don't have anything to respond to that. I would only be fucking lying to her if I said that I also think that way.

"Hey, Levi."

"Hmm?"

"Everything will fall to it's right place. We just need to wait for it."

Wait, huh? Maybe I can. I've waited for him the last time so I guess that I can do it again. If that means that I'll get to be with him, I'll do it.

Even if his lost memories won't ever return, I won't care. I'll just make new with him and this time, it won't be forgotten.

Just wait, you little amnesiac shit.


	24. Chapter 24

*********   
**Eren's** **PoV**

Waking up with nothing but white in an unfamiliar place with machines clinging to your body is confusing. But waking up with some unknown guy holding your hand crying, telling you he is your boyfriend is mind blowing.

How did that happen? I'm only an eleven year old boy, how will I have a boyfriend?

He told me that we're together before I got in an accident and I was in a coma that I just woken up from after two months.  He told me something about my promises to him.

I looked at him like  he's some kind of lunatic, some kind of asylum patient.

That's impossible. I was just together with Armin yesterday playing in our backyard and after that... I can't remember.

He left crying and I was dumbfounded. Plenty of questions are roaming around my head. Who is that? What is he talking about?

It didn't take long until my father cleared it up for me. I'm not an eleven year old boy but a sixteen year old teenager. I lost my memories of the past five which led me to believe that I am still that scrawny eleven year old. I made new friends and I got myself a boyfriend.

That boyfriend took care of me for months, sacrificing his own health and studies to be beside me all the time. He's the one that I made promises with, the one who made me happy.

And that boyfriend just has to be the raven haired guy that I woke up to.

I feel so bad for doing what I did to him. He was beside me all the time, waiting for me to wake up a just to be pushed away. I can't imagine how hurt he must've felt.

"Eren, get up and eat." I heard Armin said outside my room. I rolled on my bed and groaned.

"I don't want to, Ar."

I can practically hear him rolled his eyes outside. "If you don't, I'll use force."

I snorted at his shallow threat. Armin using force? It's like a kitten trying to force a lion to move. "Nice try, Armin. Better luck next time."

"Who said that I'll be the one doing it?" He paused to show that he's thinking in which I highly doubt. The blond coconut already has someone in mind before he made that threat of him. "Maybe I'll call Mika—"

I sat up immediately. "Okay, okay! I'm up!" I stood up and went to grab some clothes. Mikasa—who is a sister of my supposed boyfriend, Levi— is scary. They said that I met her when I was twelve and she has been one of the closest person to me, figuratively and literally speaking. Mikasa looks a lot like her brother that it made me feel more guilty whenever I see her.

"I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

I sighed and started to remove my clothes. I changed my pajama into a pair of jeans and a plain, black shirt. After that I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

When I faced the mirror, I am still weirded out to see myself in it. An older, more mature looking Eren is facing me, totally not the scrawny boy that I expected to see.

Well, at least I'm good looking.

After I was finished doing my morning rituals, I went down and saw Armin placing the foods on the table.

"Hurry up, you sloth. We'll go to Mikasa's later."

"W-what?"

"Her mom invited us over. She wanted to see you again. You were very close to her and you see her as a second mother. It wouldn't be that bad."

It will be bad. Levi will be there. I don't know if I can face him now.

I just gave him a nod and sat down before we started eating in silence. After we ate, I returned to my room without another word.

I plopped down on my bed face first. How will I face him? What if he told me to leave?

I groaned and rolled on my bed. I stared at the white ceiling. I forgot to ask Armin what time we will go.

Ugh, whatever. He'll just call me later.

Boredom is killing me. I need to do something.

I stood up and went in front of the TV and searched for a game. After minutes of searching, nothing piqued my interest. Sighing, I went back to lay on my bed.

Maybe I'll check my phone. I didn't checked it since I woke up last week.

I reached to my nightstand and opened the drawer to get my phone. I opened it and saw that Levi texted me.

My eyes widen and my heart started to beat faster and louder while my stomach started to do somersault. Why did he text me?

Using a shaky hand, I opened the message. My breath was caught in my lungs when I saw its content.

_**Levi:** Eren, I miss you so much. I love you._

I stared at the message with wide eyes. Did he really texted that to me?

A smile was formed in my lips unconsciously. The beat of my heart is going miles per hour and the butterflies on my stomach started to rumble.

Why am I acting like this? Why am I so happy to read this?

I don't know how long I stared at my phone but another message cut me off from it.

_**Levi** _ _**:** _ _Oi, brat. The_ _message_ _you_ _received_ _earlier, Hanji is the one who texted_ _that_ _, not me._

The smile on my face was replaced by a frown. So I felt like that for nothing?

Ignoring the sharp pain I felt, I opened my conversation with him. Maybe it'll help me remember. Based on what Armin and Dad told me, those five years that I forgot are the years which are filled with different happenings. I want to remember each and every detail.

I started reading from the top and I can't believe that I'm the one who texted these.

**_Eren:_ ** _Good_ _morning_ _, beautiful._

**_Levi:_** _Tch, shut up._ _What's_ _good_ _with_ _morning_ _?_ _It's_ _another_ _day to_ _be_ _spent_ _in_ _that hellhole._

 ** _Eren_** ** _:_** _It's_ _another_ _day to be spent with you. Even_ _though_ _school is a 'hellhole' as you_ _called_ _it, it becomes heaven_ _when_ _you're_ _with me. ;)_

Am I really the one who texted that? Damn. I continued to read the other messages in the thread.

**_Levi_ ** **_:_ ** _Do you have_ _anything_ _to_ _do_ _?_ _I'm_ _bored._

**_Eren_** ** _:_** _Except_ _from_ _loving you,_ _none_ _. Do you_ _have_ _anything_ _in mind?_

**_Levi:_ ** _You're_ _a fucking sap, you little shit._ _Just_ _go here_ _in_ _our_ _house_ _._

**_Eren_ ** **_:_ ** _Okay,_ _everything_ _for my_ _princess_ _._

**_Levi_ ** **_:_ ** _How many_ _times_ _do I_ _have_ _to tell you not to call me that?!_ _I'm_ _not a fucking girl_ _in_ _case you_ _couldn't_ _see._

_**Eren**_ _ **:**_ _I_ _won't_ _stop. See you later._

After reading the rather interesting conversation I had with Levi, I decided to check my gallery. Maybe there's something more interesting there.

I opened an album named 'Levi' with a heart in it. I realized how much of a stalker I am. The album is filled with different stolen shots of him. Sleeping, drinking tea, drying his hair, all of the pictures are taken when he's unaware but it looks like he's modelling.

I felt my face heat up when I saw a picture of him half naked. He got a body sculpted by the gods themselves.

Is he really my boyfriend or they're just pranking me?

I stared at the last photo in the album. It's taken almost three months ago.

In the photo, we are standing in someone else's backyard while it's raining, our lips locked while my hands are wrapped around his waist and his arms around my neck.

The happiness that we felt is showed in the picture and it made me felt more guilty. I stared at the picture for who-knows-how-long and was only taken back to reality when I heard a knock.

"Eren, we'll leave in thirty minutes."

"Okay!"

I locked my phone before I rolled out of my bed. I went to get some clothes before I entered the bathroom and took a bath.

After ten minutes of showering, I dried myself up and wore the clothes I took. It's a plain black hoodie and white pants. After I groomed myself, I left my room and went down to the living room to see Armin waiting for me.

"Let's go now."

After wearing my black Vans, we went out and started to walk. According to Armin, Mikasa's house is just a few streets away so it's okay to walk.

"Hey, Armin."

"What?"

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" He looked at me in confusion. "You know, me visiting them?"

"Why would it be not okay? Mrs. Ackerman invited us. It would be rude to say no since she really wanted to see you."

I sighed loudly and ran my hand through my hair. "But what if Levi tell me to leave? After what I had done, it's most likely to happen."

He laughed loudly and shoved me playfully. "He wouldn't tell you to leave. Yes, he's kinda rude but he won't do that to his mom's visitor. Besides, he won't make you leave even if you go there without calling."  
  


I raised an eyebrow at him. "And how can you say that?"

"Well, you're Eren. That reason is enough."

I didn't respond. I don't get it. Me being Eren is enough? What kind of reason is that?

A damn confusing one.

For me, at least.

We continued walking in silence. The silence let me ponder about what I will do if the worst comes. And by worst I mean Levi telling me to leave.

I want to apologize for what I had done to him. That was just rude and I know that I had hurt him too much.

I also want to talk about 'us'. I know that our situation confuses the both of us and it will be good for us to figure things out.

After walking for some minutes we finally arrived at the Ackerman's household. My heart feels like it wanted to get out of my ribcage.

Armin seems to notice my nervousness since he clamped his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "Calm down, Eren. No one's going to eat you alive."

I nodded and he knocked the door. After a minute or so, the door was opened by someone that made me stop breathing.

"Levi..."

He looked at us impassively before he stepped aside and opened the door wider for us to enter.

"Go inside, brats."

This is going to be a long day.


	25. Let's Start Again

**Eren** **'s** **PoV**

"Go inside, brats."

I didn't move as I continued to stare at Levi. He raised an eyebrow when he saw that I didn't move. "What the fuck are you waiting for? Go inside, you shitty brat."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. The instant his skin touched mine, I felt something spark. I watched him close the door and walked past me, not giving me a single glance.

I still didn't move. I don't know why but I couldn't do it no matter how much I tried. I am so tense. When he noticed me, he sighed and turned around glaring at me, eyebrow raised, and arms crossed.

"I don't know what the fuck your problem is but I want to tell you that we don't need a damn statue. So it's either you're going to fucking move yourself or I'm going to do it for you."

I did what he said and moved, following him to their living room. I saw Armin talking to a middle-aged woman who looked a lot like Levi and Mikasa. She's quite short so I guessed that Levi got his height from her.

The woman looked at me and a smile graced her lips. She stood up and walked to me, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm glad that you're okay."  She broke the hug and slightly tugged my collar. I bend down a little and she ruffled my hair.  "You grew taller."

Levi snickered and whispered, "Tch, he slept for two fucking months straight."

I saw no reaction from the others so I assumed that nobody heard it besides me. "I'll cook lunch. Eren, you should talk with them. It might help you remember."

She smiled warmly at me again before she start heading to the kitchen. It's the first time I saw her (from what I can remember) but I feel like I had known her for a long time. We watched her until she's out of sight.

I sat down beside Armin and slumped on the couch before I closed my eyes. No one spoke which made awkward silence reign the air.

I want to talk with Levi but I didn't know how. I know that I wanted to clear everything between us but I didn't know where to start. Will it end to us having another chance or will it be the end of us?

"Where's Mikasa?" Armin broke the silence hanging over us. I opened my eyes and looked at Levi who is doing something with his phone. He looked up from it to look at Armin blankly.

"She's with Jean."

Armin's eyes widen. "Why?"

"They're dating." His answer was said in an isn't-it-obvious way.

I switched my gaze between the two of them. "Who's Jean?"

"He's a friend of yours, Eren."

"He's the horse-faced jerk you always have a fucking fight with."

"...okay?"

Levi returned his attention to his phone as silence took over again. Damn, can it get more awkward?

I stared at Levi as he do whatever he is doing with his phone. Should I be the one to make the first move or should I wait for him instead?

When he noticed that someone's staring at him, he looked around and our eyes met. He glared at me but I didn't failed to notice the light pink dusting his cheeks. He then returned his attention to his phone again, mumbling something under his breath.

_Cute._

Maybe it'll be best if I make the first move. It's me who caused this after all.

I sat up straight, clearing my throat as I mentally prepared myself. I wonder why I am getting so riled up. It's not like he's going to eat me.

"Uh, Levi?" He broke his gaze from his phone and shifted it to me. "Can I—" I was cut off when the door was suddenly opened with too much force than what's necessarily needed.

"Levi! I heard that Eren's going— Eren?!"

My head snapped to the direction where the voice came and saw a crazy-looking human standing by the doorway and a huge man with an equally huge eyebrows behind. Who are they? Why did they called me by my name?

"What the fuck are you doing here, Hanji?" Levi shot them a death glare which made me shiver. If only looks can kill.

Hanji, on the other hand, looks unfazed. They grinned before they look at me, the same look on their face.

"Hey, Eren. I'm sure that you can't remember me—"

Levi cut them off. "What's worth remembering about you, anyways? You're just a bat shit crazy thing."

I can't help but chuckle when he called them 'thing' instead of 'human'. A whine erupted from Hanji and they pushed Armin aside before sitting in between us, their upper body shifted to face my direction.

"Don't listen to Short Stack over there, my little Titan boy. He's just jealous of my awesomeness. I'm Hanji Zoë."

I looked at Levi and saw him roll his eyes before turning to talk to Bushy Brows. I felt some unpleasant feeling pooled in my guts (no, I don't need to take a shit) at the sight of them. Hanji caught my attention once again when I heard them tutted.

"What?"

They gave me a cheeky grin. "Getting jealous about Erwin, eh?"

My eyes widen at their assumption. "What? No!" My voice was just above a whisper, just enough for them to hear. "Why would I?"

Hanji hummed and tap their chin using their index finger. "Maybe it's because Levi is your boyfriend and Erwin used to court him before you guys become official?"

I returned my gaze at their direction again. "...really?"

"Uh huh, but no worries, Levi chose you in the end. I even helped you plan the event where you made him say yes." Hanji wiggled their eyebrows at me before breaking into a fit of laughter. That left me staring at them with a smile on my lips. They're very energetic it's contagious.

"I like you." My thought came unconsciously out of my stupid mouth and in a span of a second or two, a very awkward silence took over. They stared at me with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. I felt so embarrassed I wanted the ground to eat me up and just swallow me whole.

Levi is the first one to snap out of his trance and there came his reaction. "...what the  fuck?"

"Wait, no! That's not what I mean!"

Hanji laughed and threw their arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to them. "Ha! Take that, Shorty! He likes me more than you!"

With a very deep frown on his face accompanied by a glare, he looked at the both of us. "Is that so?"

"Wait a minute and listen. I didn't say that I like them romantically but as a friend." I removed Hanji's arm off of my shoulder. The awkward atmosphere wasn't removed and I continuously wished that someone's going to break it off for the sake of my sanity. I'm also dying from embarrassment. Why do I have to be such an idiot?

As I silently wished for the awkward atmosphere to get the fuck away, Levi's mother came in. "Let's go eat now."

All of us stood up and followed her. I purposely walked slower to be left behind and Armin did the same.

"You did a great job back there."

I groaned and rolled my eyes as I threw my hands in the air. "Oh, come on. Did you wait for me just to say that?"

He laughed. "Maybe I did."

I shoved his shoulder playfully and continued to walk towards the kitchen without another word.

I sat between Levi's mom and Armin, Levi sitting in front of me with Hanji and Erwin, as  I recalled it, beside him. We ate in silence until Hanji broke it.

"Ooh, I remember the reason why I went here."

Levi scoffed. "You have? I thought that you're just here to irritate the fucking hell out of me."

"Of course not! I want to invite you to our beach house this incoming Friday. All of us was stressed out by the past months and it'll be a great way to wind up and relax. That includes me, Erwin, Armin, Mikasa, Levi and Eren. You can also come too, Kuchel."

Levi's mom shook her head. "The café needs me. Levi and Mikasa are allowed to go."

"I'm not going."

"But Levi—"

"No, Hanji. I'll go to my room."

Levi stood up and walked away. Hanji sighed and is about to stand when I stopped them. "I'll talk to him, Hanji. I need to talk to him about something personal."

They nodded and I stood up, excusing myself before I went upstairs. On my way, I realized that I don't know which room is Levi's.

"Uh, which one is his room?"

Levi's mom laughed and shook her head. "It's at the left side, the second door."

I muttered a 'thanks' before I continued walking. I walked upstairs and searched for his room. It isn't hard since his room has a black door in contrast to the other's white door.

I stood outside and took a deep, calming breath before I knocked. "Levi?"

"Come in, the door's open."

I turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. I saw him sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard, a book in his hand and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

"What? You're here to fucking convince me to join?"

I walked inside and quietly closed the door before looking back at him. "About that and another reason. I wanted to talk about the latter first."

He raised an eyebrow and eyed me in a questioning way. "Go and sit first, brat."

I walked and sat on the nearest chair to his bed. He shifted himself and faced me, his book forgotten on his nightstand. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"I want to talk about us."

His face stayed nonchalant but the bobbing of his Adam's apple as well as the way he clenched his fists  didn't slipped past my sight. "What do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to clear everything about us—"

"And then what? Break up with me?"

Silence reigned the air as his words slipped past his mouth. He sounded like what he did back then when I woke up, in pain and defeated. I felt my chest tighten and my throat went dry but I forced myself to speak.

"No. I wanted to—"

"If you wanted to talk to fucking break up, then stop. I don't want to hear it. I waited for you for too long. I won't allow us to break just because you goddamn lost your memories."

He looked at me with eyes full of pain before he stood up to left the room. I shot up and grabbed his arm.

"Wait..." I tighten my grip as I look down. "Listen to me first."

I looked at him and saw him staring at the floor. I took a deep breath and loosen my grip at his arm before slowly sliding it down to hold his hand. He stiffen with the unexpected gesture but I just squeezed his hand tighter.

"I don't want to break up. Even though I can't remember you, I can feel something different when I'm with you. I felt happier and I feel like I know you for a long time. I felt complete and my heart beats in the way I never imagined. I don't want to see you hurt, especially if it's because of me. I  want to protect you and keep you happy. Even though my memories with you are lost, my heart still remembers you. It still beats for you, Levi. It's still yours."

He looked up and stared at me, tears flowing down his face. I wiped it using my thumb. "Why are you crying?"

"That's tears of joy, brat."

His answer made me smile. "Can I kiss you?"

He rolled his eyes with a small smile on his lips. "You don't need to fucking ask."

He pulled my collar down and our lips crashed against each other, engaging in a passionate kiss. I felt all of the love and longing in each second as our lips move in perfect rhythm. His sweet taste is intoxicating me, my hand holding him closer by his waist as he wrapped his arms tightly around my neck.

We broke our kiss, panting and gasping for air. I can't help but smile when I saw how red his cheeks are. "You're so cute when you're flustered."

He flicked my nose. "I'm not cute. I'm hot."

I laughed and pulled him close to me again, resting my chin on the top of his head while he kept his face on the crook of my neck.

"I missed you, you shitty brat."

A smile crept up on my lips and I nuzzled the top of his head. "I missed you too."

Let's start again, Levi. And this time, it'll be better.


	26. A Walk by the Shore

**Levi's** **PoV**

"Can you please fucking tell me why I agreed to go in this trip?"

The scowl that found its home on my face harden when Hanji's obnoxious singing started to get louder and more intolerable. That is if you can call it _singing_ _._ It's so fucking out of tune it'll put a whale's wailing to _shame_.

"This is the part where I say I don't want it, I'm stronger than I've been before! This is, the part where I break free—"

"Goddammit, Shitty Glasses! Stop wailing or I'll break your fucking neck!"

Eren pulled me closer to him and started drawing circles at the back of my hand in attempt to calm me down. Hanji shifted on their seat at the passenger seat before looking at us.

"I'm not wailing, Shorty, I'm singing. It's not my fault that my voice isn't as good as your singer of a boyfriend there." They flashed me a grin before they sat on their seat normally, continuing their so-called "singing".

Erwin sighed from the driver's seat, turning off the stereo which also ended Hanji's torture. Eren sighed when it ended. I raised an eyebrow at him in a way to ask _Something_ _wrong_ _?_ and he shook his head.

"Just relieved that they stopped." He delivered his answer in a whisper in hopes that nobody but me will hear. His answer earned him a chuckle from me.

"Why are you laughing, Levi?" Hanji  looked at me from the mirror. I glared at them in return. "That's none of your fucking business."

Once again, they shifted on their seat before giving us a maniacal grin, a crazy glint in their eyes. "Let me guess, the both of you are planning to do the do in the beach!"

I chocked even with the absence of any food or water, my face burning hotter than a new born star. Our face both redder than a fucking cherry. All of them laughed or chuckled, even Mikasa and Armin who have their own world earlier. I gave Hanji a deadly glare as they laughed their fucking ass off.

"Shut the fuck up, you fucker."

"Why? Mad because I ruined your supposed fun plan?"

Our faces got redder (I didn't know it's fucking possible) as we both shouted, "No!"

They laughed again and Mikasa decided to add more fuel to the fire. "Be gentle, Eren. Levi's a virgin."

A much louder laughter erupted. I glared at them despite the blush that can cook an egg. "I fucking hate all of you." I looked at Eren. "Except you, of course."

He smiled at me and kissed my nose before pulling my head to rest it on his shoulder. We ignored the "Aww" from Hanji and we rested comfortably against each other.

I felt my eyelids become heavy, forcing myself to sleep. I fought against it but Eren rested his head on top of mine. "You should go sleep, Levi. I'll wake you up when we got there."

I hummed in agreement before closing my eyes. I stayed silent until one thought entered my mind. "Oi, brat."

He squeezed my hand that he's holding. "Hmm?"

"Can you sing something for me?"

"Of course."  He cleared his throat and started to quietly sing. His sultry and deep voice coaxed me more into sleepiness. Before I totally gave in, I whispered something. "I love you..."

He nuzzled the top of my head and I felt him smile. "I know and I love you too. Now sleep."

I sighed in content before darkness consumed me, reveling in the scent and warmth of my lover.

*****

"Hey, Levi, wake up. We're here." I heard a soft voice called me, accompanied by soft taps on my cheek. I slowly opened my eyes, blinking a few times when the fucking brightness blinded my damn eyes.

"Good morning, beautiful." I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes before glaring at him. "Shut up."

I looked outside and saw Erwin, Hanji, Mikasa, and Armin carrying their luggage to Hanji's family's rest house. Eren climbed out of the car and held the door open. I followed suit, getting out of the car and waited for him to close the door before we grabbed our luggage. We followed the others, our hands intertwined while the other hold our bags. After a few minutes of walking, we entered the house, the others already sitting on the couches. We sat on a loveseat and placed our bags beside the couch.

"So, what're we going to do?" Hanji looked at all of us. The others shrugged while I suggested, "How about we rest first then prepare food later? I want to eat outside."

They all agreed and we decided who gets to share a room considering there are only five rooms. It didn't take long since Eren and I presented. They gave us knowing looks which earned an eye roll from me.

"Take your minds out of the fucking gutter. Why do you always make it malicious? We already did it before."

Hanji acted surprised, faking a gasp and placing a hand over their chest while looking at us with wide eyes. "No way! You already did it?!"

A burning heat covered my face with what they said. I stood up and attempted to walk over to them and end their breath at that time when Eren grabbed my arm, pulling me beside him again. "Come on, Hanji. Stop with the jokes already." I saw how red his face is but I can notice how uncomfortable he is right now.

Hanji raised both of their hands. "Okay, okay. Now let's get moving."

All of us stood up and took our bags, going to our assigned rooms. Eren stayed silent all the time while his gaze is fixed on the ground, which is very not him, and I spoke my mind out. "Oi, Eren. What's with the sudden silence?"

His head shot up and looked at me. He scratched the back of his neck and I can feel uneasiness literally radiating out of him. "Um, no. It's nothing. Don't mind me."

I rolled my eyes. Stubborn brat. "Stop lying. It's fucking impossible for that to be nothing when you're suddenly going out of your character. Spit it out before I make you."

He ran his hand through his hair, sighing before looking down again. "It's just that... I don't know. I just thought that maybe you're getting bored with me."

He looked at me and I gave him an incredulous look, wanting him to also see it as an 'are-you-shitting-me' look. He shook his head, muttering an 'I'm such an idiot.' before looking away again. I didn't talked as we made our way to our supposed room. We entered the room, setting our bags down beside the closet. the room is just a simple room, a queen-sized bed, wooden floor, white walls, a closet at the corner left of the room and a door which I guess is leading to the bathroom beside it, a red carpet and a nightstand beside the bed.

I sat down on the bed, looking at Eren when he didn't move from his place beside the closet. He's still looking at the floor like it just stole his last fucking cookie. I sighed and closed my eyes. What the fuck is this brat's problem?

"Oi, Eren." He doesn't look up and I doubt that he even heard me. He's so deep in his thoughts he blocked everything out. I stood up and went to him, snapping my fingers in front of him. He was pulled out trance and he looked at me confusedly. "What?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled his ear down. "Aw! Levi! Stop it, it hurts!" I released his his ear and he clutched his ear. "Do you want to tear my ear?"

"Maybe I will if you won't stop thinking about shits."

"I'm not!"

"Oh, really? Then would you care to fucking tell me what's running on your mind?"

I got silence as an answer. I sighed again. Why is he acting like this?

I kept my gaze on him as I said, "Eren, tell me what's bugging you." The supposed command came out softer and gentler than what I planned to but after seeing how it affected Eren told me that it's enough to stop the stubbornness in him.

"I'm just thinking that maybe I'm not good enough for you. I can't even remember my past with you. I can't remember the things you like, Maybe you deserve someone better--"

"Shut up."

"But--"

"You better stop thinking about that shits. We already fucking talked about this, and I'm not going over it again."

He looked away again. I can't read what's going on inside his mind. The only thing that I'm sure is he's thinking about nonsense shits that would only make him think. "Look at me."

Being the stubborn little shit he is, he doesn't complied. I gently held his chin using my thumb and index finger, making him faced me. He still looks at his side, eyes avoiding mine. "Look at me, Eren."

He looked down at me and I have to hold my breath when I took a closer view of his turquoise eyes. It never fails to capture me, the gold flecks swimming across his iris, the color of the ocean that always drowns me, as days pass by, I always grow to love his eyes more and more. They always bring me life, always keeping me warm, always makes me feel home and safe.

"Nobody but you deserves me, Eren. Even if there is, I'll still choose you. You're the only one who can make my heart beat wildly, make the stupid butterflies inside my stomach do fucking flips, you're the only one who can make me feel alive. I feel safe and happy just being beside you and I don't think that I can feel this to anyone but you. You complete me, Eren, and even though you may not have our memories, I'm more than willing to make new memories with you. So please stop thinking that. You told me that your heart is still mine and well, mine never left your side, anyways."

He sighed and lifted his hand before grabbing my hand and holding, it, placing a soft kiss on my knuckle. A soft smile painted his lips, his eyes now showing nothing but pure affection which sent jolts of electricity all over me. A familiar warmth bloomed in my chest and I welcomed the feeling.

"I love you, Levi. Sorry for acting like a child." He leaned down and put a chaste kiss on my lips. I let a small smile paint my lips. "I'm used to it. And, yeah. I love you too, brat."

We shared another one chaste kiss before we decided to get changed and rest. We still have four hours to rest considering it's just two in the afternoon and we won't be starting making food until six. We spent the whole time either talking random shits or just letting the silence took over us. Even in the silence, I'm not getting bored or whatever. His presence itself keeps me entertained.

When the time for preparing came, we went down and head straight to the kitchen. There we saw the others, already starting. We decided to settle with Orange Chicken and Chicken Casserole, and Strawberry Mousse for dessert. Not even an hour had passed when Hanji decided to fuck our work up and I told them that they should leave except Mikasa and Eren to help me. They agreed and we actually finished the dishes faster and more efficient. After we finished cooking, I took a shower to remove the smell that I accumulated because of cooking and we decided to go outside and set the table up. After preparing the table and chairs, we took the foods outside and shared the meal with a conversation, accompanied by the sound of the waves.

"Hey, Levi." I looked at the brat beside me when he called me. "Want to take a walk? The moon's bright tonight."

I snorted. "Why? want to do some cliche shits again?"

He laughed and bumped my shoulder. His laugh made me feel warm again. "No, I just want to spend time with you." He stood up and offered a hand to me. I stared at it first before looking at the others who are busy talking. "We're going for a walk."

No one acknowledge me so I just rolled my eyes and accepted Eren's hand, him lacing our hands together and we started to walk. We went to the shore, letting the salty water of the sea soak both of our feet. The moon illuminated the whole place, sending a faint light everywhere which is just enough for us to see against the dark. The cold wind blows continuously, the water reflecting the moonlight making it look like a vast plain of diamonds. The dark sky is stretching so far out, no clouds obscuring the sight of the black sky adorned with stars.

As we walked, I remember the cliff that I saw the last time I went here together with Hanji's parents, Hanji and Erwin. Maybe I can take him there.

"Eren."

"Hmm?"

"I'll take you somewhere."

He followed me without hesitation, me walking a bit ahead of him to guide him to the place with our hands still connected. I lead him farther out the shore until I saw the silhouette of the cliff.

"We're going to climb that cliff." He hummed in approval and after a few more minutes of walking, we carefully climbed the cliff and sat on the edge, our feet dangling in the air. I looked down and saw the waves crashed against the rock before I looked up and watched the stars. Eren, on the other hand, decided to keep staring at me. I turned to him with a scowl.

"You're distracting. Stop staring at me."

He casually shrugged before leaning on his hands. "I can't help it. You're just too beautiful to look at."

I fought the heat that crept on my cheeks and I punched his shoulder playfully. "Shut up. Can't you stop being a fucking sap?"

He chuckled and stood up fishing his phone out of his pocket before he started to tap something. The silence that took over was broke when a familiar tune played. He offered his hand to me once again, and it suddenly reminded me of the night where we had our first date and when we danced at the riverside. The night when he made his promise.

I took his hand and I stood up, wrapping my arms around his neck as his wrapped around my waist, just like what we always did.

_Aren't you something to admire _  
__

__'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror_ _ __  
_ _

__And I can't help but notice_ _

__You reflect in this heart of mine_ _

We started to sway with the rhythm and I rested my head on his chest. My heart is beating ten miles an hour and it started to beat even faster when I heard how loud and fast Eren's heartbeat is. The familiar warmth covered me and I let myself be enveloped by his presence.

' _Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul_

_I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go_

He took my hand and laced it together once again. He stared at it for awhile endearingly, a soft look settled in his eyes.

_'Cause I don't wanna lose you now_ __  
_ _

__I'm lookin' right at the other half of me_ _

__The vacancy that sat in my heart_ _

__Is a space that now you hold_ _

He started singing along to the song just like what he did back then. He started moving around and I let him guide me.

_Show me how to fight for now_ _  
_

__And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy_ _

__Comin' back here to you once I figured it out_ _

__You were right here all along_ _

I almost lost him months ago. Months of nothing but torture and sleepless nights was what I had to live by. I should've given up on him long before, before everything between us even started but I didn't. I could do nothing but hope for something to happen. Maybe I'm a masochist or just a flat out idiot for loving him this much, so much that it hurts just by thinking about it, but I don't give a flying fuck. What matters now is that he returned my love even without his memories of us together.

_Aren't you somethin', an original_

__'Cause it doesn't seem merely assembled_ _ __  
_ _

__And I can't help but stare, 'cause_ _ __  
_ _

__I see truth somewhere in your eyes_ _

I looked up and saw Eren's glossy eyes like he's trying to hold back his tears. I smiled. "Why? You're going to cry?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No, I'm just wondering what I did to deserve you."

"Hah, you should. I don't really know why I fell for a brat like you."

"I really am blessed."

He kissed me and he poured all of his love into it. I weaved my fingers through his hair as he hugged me tighter. It feels like everything around us disappeared, the time seems to slow down as only the two of us matters at this moment. When he broke our kiss I nuzzled my face on his neck.

_Show me how to fight for now_

_And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy_

__Comin' back into you once I figured it out_ _

___You were right here all along_ _ _

He  continued singing along to the song and when it ended, I finally got to hear the three words that I always love to hear.

"I love you, Levi."

And like fucking magic, that three words somehow made everything perfect.

"I love you, too."


	27. Unchanged Feelings

After what happened earlier at the cliff, we went back to where we came from earlier, walking with our hands still connected. When the place is on sight, I saw them lighting up a bonfire. Hanji saw us and waved, telling us to hurry up. Eren grinned widely and walked faster, dragging me with him. Looks like the brat's excited. While making our way, Mikasa met us halfway, bags of marshmallows in her hand. Eren's face lit up when he saw it. He really can be a child.

Mikasa nudged my side which made me tore my gaze away from Eren. I looked at her and she raised an eyebrow at me. "Where did the both of you went? You're just suddenly gone."

I scoffed and I heard Eren chuckled beside me. "Well, if you paid attention to us when we excused ourselves earlier, maybe you wouldn't wonder why we're gone."

Mikasa rolled her eyes and bumped me lightly. We reached the others and saw variety of junk foods which consists of chips, sodas in can, bars of chocolate, and other unhealthy life shortening shits.

They all sat down on the sand circling the bonfire and I reluctantly did so. If not for Eren's tugging to my hand, I wouldn't do it. When my ass made contact with the ground, Eren wrapped his arm around my waist and pecked my lips.

"No PDA, please." Hanji's tone is playful but it didn't save them from earning a glare from me. Eren, acting like the matured teen he is, sticked his tongue out at them.

"Maybe you should get yourself a lover. Levi's not up for being a choice, though."

I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder. Hanji's about to retort but I glared at them before I spat a not-so polite "Shut the fuck up."

They raised both of their hands in the air. I huffed and leaned to Eren, my head resting on his shoulder. He removed his arm around my waist. I grabbed it before it was completely removed and I looked at him, giving him a questioning look. He chuckled and shook his head, placing a kiss on type tip of my nose before answering, "I'll just roast some marshmallows for us."

"I don't want it."

"Why?"

"Too sweet."

"Well, I like it. And you're going to eat some whether you like it or not. You can't spend your night with a bonfire without having a taste of roasted marshmallows."

Ignoring my protest, he proceeded making it. He sticked a piece of marshmallow to a stick and placed it over the fire and after a short time, he took it away and blew on it before placing it near my mouth. I just looked at it before returning my gaze to him, not complying to his request. We stayed like that for a few minutes, none of us giving in. He sighed before he closed his eyes and  _shit_ , he used my weakness to his advantage. He looked at me with wide, pleading eyes, making him look like a fucking puppy. A cute puppy with adorable eyes, that is. Shit again, I used the word adorable. This damn brat.

Giving in to his wishes, I reluctantly opened my mouth which made him smile. He moved the roasted marshmallow and I can't help but smell the sweetness of it. Just when it made contact with my mouth, he suddenly pulled away. I glared at him and he smiled. "It tastes better with melted chocolate."

He reached for a container beside Armin and opened it, revealing a good amount of melted chocolate. He dipped half of the marshmallow before offering it to me again. I held his wrist this time just to make sure that he won't make fun of me. I ate it and in the instant it made contact with my taste bud, the bittersweet taste of chocolate and sweetness of sugar exploded in my mouth. Somehow, the slight bitterness of the chocolate neutralized the overly sweet taste. He grinned at me widely, carefully watching me while I'm chewing and swallowing it. I put my hand on his face, pushing it away.

"Fucking happy now?"

He moved my hand away from his face before placing a kiss on it. "Uh huh, so what do you think? It tastes great, right?"

"It's okay. I just don't have a thing for sweet things. It's making me cringe."

"Well, the fact that you ate one is enough for me. Now, can you make me some?"

"Make you some what?"

"Roasted marshmallows, duh--" I glared at him and pointed the stick at his face. I'm the only one who's allowed to sass. He swallowed and let out a nervous chuckle. "Make me some roasted marshmallows, please?"

Rolling my eyes, I complied. I did what he did earlier except that I didn't blow it and just stuffed it in his mouth. He cried out in pain and I can't stop myself from chuckling. His face is so red, tears prickling on his eyes as he tries to blow away the heat. The others also laughed at the "entertaining" sight caused by Eren. He swallowed it before glaring at me. "You're an ass."

I casually shrugged and smirked at him. "I fucking thought that you knew that by now."

I stood up and went to the table to take a bottle of water. "Oi, Eren." He looked at me and I threw the bottle at him. He caught it and opened the cap before drinking. I went back to his side and sat down. "Are you okay?"

"You're really asking me that?"

"Just fucking answer the damn question or you'll be roasted yourself."

"Yes, I'm okay. I'd rather not be roasted though."

We all returned to our own business and I continued feeding him. A smile never left his face and the sight brought warmth to me like it always did.

Throughout the whole time I fed Eren, I can feel someone's stare burning holes through me. I looked around and saw everyone busy talking with each other and I thought that I'm only being a paranoid shit— until I saw who is staring at us. At  _me._

Erwin.

I raised an eyebrow at him and it seems to cut him out of his trance and quickly looked away. Why the hell is he staring?

"Levi?"

I looked up at Eren and saw him giving me a worried look. Shit, I spaced out. "Are you okay?"

I gave him a small smile despite the questions running in my mind. "I'm okay. I'm just thinking."

He accepted my answer although reluctantly. I continued to feed him again while I tried to clear my mind from any thoughts concerning why Eyebrows is staring. I guess I need to talk with him later.

After all of us decided to call it a day, we cleaned up our messes. When the others are making their way to the house, I held Eren's arm. "Wait."

He looked at me with a confused look on his face. "Why?"

"You go ahead inside. I'll stay here for a little."

He looked reluctant but he complied, kissing me on my forehead. "I'll wait for you."

He walked away and I proceeded with my plan when he already entered the house. I walked a few meters before I saw him, sitting at the shore. I walked closer until I'm just a foot away from him.

"Oi, Erwin."

He flinched before he craned his head to look at whoever it is who called him, eyes widening for a fraction when he saw me. He immediately returned his normal composed expression. He stood up and faced me, making me scowl at the big difference between our heights.

"Levi, what are you doing here? Eren's already inside."

"You don't need to fucking tell me that and besides, there's something I want to talk about."

He nodded. "What is it?"

"I'll just get straight to the point. I saw you staring at me earlier. Care to tell me why? Don't try to make up some shitty fucking excuses because I saw you earlier. Tell me the fucking reason."

He started a staring competition between us and like fucking hell I'm going to back down. If this is what I need to do to make him speak his goddamn mind, then so be it.

After a few minutes of silence doing nothing but staring and him pondering whether he'll tell me or not, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he opened his eyes, a hesitant smile was formed on his lips.

"I really can't hide anything from you, huh?"

"No. Now answer me."

He sighed again and looked down. He then looked at me straight in the eyes.

"I know that we already got this over and done with and I already told myself that I'll forget about you but, Levi, I can't. I tried to, I swear to God, but I can't. I just can't do it even if it's for saving myself. My feelings for you never changed. I still... I still love you, Levi."

I stared at him dumbfounded. My eyes are wide, my throat is dry and my breath was caught in my lungs. I searched for any hint of him lying or making fun of me but all I saw is longing and hurt. It's like a fucking bucket of ice cold water was poured over me when realization hit me and is suddenly replaced by the shitty feeling of guilt.

The look on his face became too much to take and I quickly looked away. "We already talked about this." My voice came out just barely above a whisper but I hoped that he heard it.

My thoughts was confirmed when he took a step forward and reached out a hand. I took a step back and slapped his hand away. I don't want to treat him like this, like he's some kind of an unforgivable criminal, but I can't refrain from doing so. Eren's already doubting himself and it won't fucking help him if he discovers this.

"I told you, Levi. I really did everything to erase this but it never left. Every time I see you, it gets stronger. Don't you believe me?"

I threw my hands up in the air and let out an exasperated grunt. "I do, Erwin! I  fucking believe you! But believing you doesn't change a single thing! Eren's already doubting himself and what you're telling me wouldn't help him. Not even a little."

My breaths come in short with just a little amount of air. I can feel my blood flowing through me in rage and guilt. I'm fucking mad at myself for being such a useless shit. I can't do anything for him.

I calmed myself by taking deep breaths. I mustered enough courage to look him straight in the eye, the hurt look on his face made my chest heavier with guilt. "I'm sorry."

He looked like he wanted to cry. His eyes glossed over and I can feel the overwhelming pain that's practically flowing out of him. This moment makes me want to just curl into a fucking ball and blocked every goddamn thing out but I can't. This isn't about me. It's about Erwin, and his feelings that is going to be rejected for the second time. All of this is just too fucking unfair for him.

"I'm sorry."

I know that saying sorry won't change anything, but if it'll help ease the pain I'm causing him, ease the guilt that's taking over me, I'll do it. It's a selfish thing to do, but there's nothing left for me to do.

I heard him chuckled in a way that's void of any humor and he shook his head. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I already prepared myself for this when I realized that I still love you so there's no one left to blame but me. Don't be sorry, Levi."

He took a step forward until he's just a few inches away from me. "Sorry."

He pulled me into a hug and I didn't resist. I just left my arms hang beside me as his thick arms wrapped around me. "It's okay. I won't bother the two of you since I can see how happy he makes you. I'll just let you know that I'm always here whenever you need me."

He tightened his grip around me before he muttered a silent "I love you." He broke the hug and gave me one last smile before he left, leaving me alone by the beach, feeling myself drowning despite not being in the ocean. Leaving myself drowning in my guilt.

"I'm sorry."


	28. Another Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'll update all the remaining chapters now.
> 
> FNAF 3 was mentioned here. Looking back now, I probably shouldn't have done it, but hey, it was in the past now (and someone practically forced me to do it).
> 
> Enjoy.

After Erwin left, I still stood there for a while, the scene that just happened continuously replaying in my mind like a fucking tape in repeat. With a heavy feeling of guilt over me, I went back inside the house, not seeing a single trace of Erwin. I went straight to where our room is in hope that Eren will somehow lessen this shitty feeling.

I quietly opened the door and went inside the room before closing the door behind me. I saw Eren staring at his phone with a blank face, sitting on the edge of the bed. I walked closer until I'm in front of him and I looked down at his phone only to see a blank screen.

"Eren..."

He didn't look up like he didn't hear me called him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and didn't attempt to call him this time. He wouldn't hear me even if I did. His head shot up to look at me, his eyes wide in surprise. It went back to normal when he saw that it's only me.

"Oh, it's you."

I frowned at the response I got. " _Oh, it's you"_?, that's the least answer I thought that I'll hear from him but it is what I got. I didn't push it to prevent causing any misunderstanding. It's a petty thing, anyway.

"Yeah, it's me."

I walked to where I put my bag earlier and fetched myself some clothes. Throughout the whole time I was walking around, I can feel his gaze following me, watching my every move. Even after I took a bath, I can still feel him watching me. After I finished drying my hair with a towel, I looked at him and our eyes immediately met.

"Is there something wrong?"

He didn't move his gaze away from me but I saw him clenched and unclenched his fists through my peripheral vision. I can't help the worry building inside of me."There's nothing wrong, Levi."

He looked up and gave me a smile but unlike the others, this one didn't reach his eyes. He shifted himself until he's sitting near the bed's headboard. He patted the empty side in which I am going to sleep at.

I went to the side of the bed and sat before he pulled me down. My head is resting on his shoulder while one of his arm is draped over my waist and the other held the back of my head, spooning me. His comforting warmth radiated out of him, making me feel warm all over. I welcomed the feeling as I snuggled closer to him. He kissed the crown of my head and we laid there, letting a peaceful silence take over us.

I still feel the guilt looming over me but Eren's presence is enough to bring my mind into easiness. He started running his fingers through my hair and I gripped the front of his shirt. Amidst the silence reigning over us, he spoke, his voice soft.

"Hey, Levi, can I ask you something?" I nodded and let out a  _"_ _Mhm_ _,"_. "Why did you tell me to go here and not wait for you?"

My chest suddenly tightened. First, because the scene that I tried to pry off of my damn mind replayed once again and second was because Eren's voice sounded so skittish, like he's testing the water, like he's just waiting for me to snap at him. I knew that he already has a fucking clue. I can feel it. And that's why he said it in a way so careful- he's waiting if I'll snap at him for prying in my own business.

"I talked to him."

His fingers' movement through my hair ceased and I heard how his breath hitched. I didn't bother to say his name, fully aware that Eren's capable of knowing who I am talking about even without a name involved.

"What did he told you?"

I stayed silent as I pondered whether I'm going to fucking tell him or not. I don't know what he will react or what he's going to say but in the end, I decided to tell him. Lying wouldn't help either of us.

"You already knew that he has feelings for me and that I rejected him, right?" I stopped for a while and took a deep breath before continuing. "He still feels the same. He told me that... he still loves me."

I let go of his shirt and looked at his face. It stayed impassive, but I can see the conflict in his eyes. "Eren, I-"

"Levi, do you love me?"

He put a little distance between us and stared straight to my eyes. "Of course, I love you-" I was cut off when he pulled me closer to him.

"Even if there are other people who feels the same thing I feel towards you, you're still going to choose me, right?"

I gave him a confused look before I answered. "Yes, it'll always be you."

He gave me a small smile before he returned my head to its position on his shoulder earlier. He continued running his fingers through my hair and his grip around me. "You don't need to explain yourself. If you told me that you love me, I'll believe it. I'll believe everything you're going to say."

I sighed in contentment as another silence took over. I felt his breath become deeper and slower. I looked up at him and saw him sleeping peacefully. I smiled a little at how relaxed his face looks before I kissed him lightly on his lips.

"I love you, Eren. Good night."

*****

"Levi..."

I felt someone shaking my shoulder. I swatted it away, burying my head under a pillow. The shaking didn't cease and I let out a growl.

"Go the fuck away before I cut your goddamn head off and shove it up your fucking ass."

I heard a chuckle before the pillow was taken away. I slightly opened my eyes and saw Eren looking down at me. Shit, his bedhead looks so hot.

Dammit, Levi. You really want to give yourself a fucking morning wood, aren't you?

He smiled at me and pecked my lips. "Get up now. We're having breakfast."

I nodded and he gave me one last kiss. When he left the room, I saup and stretched before I stood up and went to get myself some clothes. After showering, I got dressed and went down to where the others are.

Some of them are already seated on the chairs. They greeted me 'Good morning' and I gave them a nod. Eren placed the plate full of toasts and smiled at me. "Let's eat now."

I flashed him a small smile which is immediately gone when my eyes landed on Erwin. He smiled at me but I didn't return it and quickly looked away.

I sat down between Eren and Mikasa, Hanji sitting in front of me. The others talked while eating but I remained silent.

"Is there something wrong, Levi?"

I looked beside me and saw Eren looking at me with worry-filled eyes. I shook my head and saw Erwin staring at me in the corner of my eye.

"Since we're going home tomorrow, let's spend the day outside! You know, swimming and stuffs."

All of them agreed with Hanji. After we ate and cleaned up, I sat on the couch and wait as they went to change their clothes into a more appropriate beach clothing. I didn't bother to change since I'm already wearing shorts and a shirt.

It only took a few minutes until I heard some footsteps coming from the stairs. I looked at who it is and saw Erwin, who is fucking staring at me again, descending the stairs. I looked away again and acted like I didn't see him.

"You don't need to act like you didn't see me, Levi."

I looked at him and saw a somehow pained expression on his face but he somehow managed to smile. He walked closer until he's only a few feet away from me.

"You don't need to avoid me, Levi."

"I—"

"Is there anything wrong here?"

I looked at where the voice came from and saw Eren standing at the end of the stairs. When the fuck did he get there?

"There's nothing—"

"I'm just telling him that he didn't need to avoid me just because of what happened."

I sent a glare at Erwin's way before I returned my gaze back at Eren. He had this conflicted look before he sighed. "Erwin's right. You shouldn't avoid him just because of that. You're his friend, right?"

"Yeah."

He smiled at me and I looked at Erwin. "Sorry."

He gave me a nod and it didn't take long until all of us already gathered in the living room. We went outside and set out a kind of blanket under the shade of a big ass umbrella. The others went straight to the ocean, Armin and Mikasa following them. Only Eren and Erwin was left here besides me, and I can't help but feel fucking awkward.

"Hey, Levi. Can you put some sunblock on my back?"

I don't fucking know if he's doing this on purpose so I gave him a glare. He cocked his head to the side and looked at me questioningly. "What?"

I rolled my eyes and snatched the bottle of sunblock from him. He grinned and removed his shirt before laying down on his stomach. I felt my face heat up as I stared at his back.

I never touched any part of him without clothes except for his hand and face.

"Uh, Levi?"

I snapped out of my trance and glared at him. "Can't you fucking wait?"

I opened the bottle and squeezed some on my clammy hands. I took a deep breath before I started to spread the liquid throughout his back. My hands were shaking. Why does his skin feel so hot?

I quickened my pace to end it immediately. The heat on my face never left, and I was thankful that I finished it quickly. He sat up and smiled at me.

"Thanks, Levi. Let me return the favor."

I sighed and removed my shirt before I laid down on my stomach. It didn't take long when he started it. My body jolted when his hands made contact with my skin. Shit, it feels so fucking hot! Does this brat has a fucking heater inside him?!

"Are you okay?"

I craned my neck to look at him. "Yeah, just hurry the fuck up."

He nodded and I buried my face in my crossed arms. I resisted the urge of jolting when his hands made contact with my back and it didn't take long until he's finished. I sat up and muttered a 'thanks' before I applied sunblock to my face, neck, chest and legs. Eren did the same and we decided to go swim.

We stood up and he grabbed my hand, pulling me with him. We went straight to the ocean and walked and walked until the water reached just a little below his chest and well, it actually reached my chest. Why do I have to be this fucking small?!

"Don't fret about it, Levi. It made you look cute."

I stared at him. Did I say that out loud?

"Yes, you did."

I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder which caused him to laughed. We both swam until we're tired and we retreated to the shore. Eren gave me my towel and I wrapped it around me, leaning onto Eren to leech off some of his heat.

"Do you have a fucking heater inside you?"

"I don't, it's either I just have a higher normal temperature or your body is just cold."

I hummed in response, not really caring which of the two is the reason. I snuggled closer to him and he removed his towel to share with mine, bringing me much, much closer to him. He kissed the crown of my head and I pecked his lips. After an hour or so, we decided to go back inside.When all of us already took a bath, we sat on the couches in the living room.

Hanji groaned and looked at us. "What are we going to do now?"

"Looks like that crazy brain of yours didn't have any bat shit crazy ideas now."

They looked at me and sticked their tongue out. "Shut up, Levi."

"Let's watch some horror movies?"

They all agreed with Armin except Eren and I. Eren stayed silent until his face lit up. "Hanji, do you have any computers here?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Can I use it?"

"Of course! It's in the library, Levi knows where it is."

"Thanks!"

He stood up and pulled me with him. While walking upstairs, I asked him, "What the fuck are you going to do with a computer?"

He grinned at me. "I'm going to play Five Nights At Freddy's 4. Now, lead me to where the computer is."

I did what he said. I led him to the farthest room of the corridor. I opened the door and walked inside, letting Eren close the door. He went straight to the computer and opened it up. I roamed around the library to look for some interesting book to read while Eren set up whatever shits he needs for his game.

I sat on the couch near him and I can see his excitement. I focused my attention to the book I'm holding—one about the cosmos—and ignored Eren's squirming. After a few minutes, I heard some weird sounds coming from the computer. I returned my attention to the book but it didn't take long until I heard Eren screamed a manly scream.

"What the fuck, brat?! Can't you see that I'm reading?"

"S-sorry! I was just surprised by Bonnie!"

Who the fuck is 'Bonnie'?

I raised an eyebrow at him. He gestured for me to come closer. "Drop that book and play with me, Levi."

Curiousity got the best of me and I complied. I saw that he's playing something which consists of a room, doors, closet and a flashlight. He explained to me how the game works. I snorted.

"You screamed just because of that?"

"Just play with me and you'll see."

I sat next to him and he started to play. It wouldn't be that bad, right?

 

"Oh fuck, I think I saw Bonnie there!"

After a few tries, we're finally at Night 3. I didn't know that this game is entertaining.

Eren checked one of the door and then— "Close the fucking door, Eren! Wait, there's—! Oh my fucking god, when did Foxy get there!" Both of us screamed when the fucking red animatronic jumped.

After the both of us got over from our shock, a loud laugh bursted out of Eren.

"The fuck are you laughing at brat?"

"Y-you asked m-me earlier why I'm s-screaming and now you're d-doing the same thing!"

I rolled my eyes and ordered him to continue the game. We played different seasons of it for hours. When the both of us already grew tired of playing, we went out of the room and to the living room. As if on cue, the movie they're watching ended.

"Let's start making dinner. I also have fireworks here, let's light it up after we eat." Hanji's over enthusiastic voice thundered throughout the silence.

"You have fireworks here?"

Hanji looked at Armin. "Of course, I do, my little coconut. It's only a fountain fireworks though."

"Don't tell me you wanted to buy the big ones?" Mikasa looked at them with an eyebrow raised. Hanji's about to answer when Erwin cut her off. "Yes, Hanji tried but they didn't allow."

"It's such a waste."

I looked at Hanji and saw them pouting. "It's a good thing that they didn't sell it to that thing."

We went to the kitchen and started to make some food. And by make, I mean heating frozen pizzas and grilling chicken. We brought the foods outside and ate it, little talks going on throughout the whole time. After we ate, we packed our things and cleaned it inside before we went back out to set the fountain fireworks.

Hanji placed the explosives on the sand and lit it up using a match. They took a few steps back and after a few seconds, streaks of lights in different colors came out of the package. I watched in slight amusement and Eren wrapped his arms around my waist behind me.

"It looks pretty, doesn't it?" I hummed in response and leaned onto him more. "But you're still prettier."

I felt heat crept up my face and I elbowed him. "You sappy little shit."

He chuckled and rested his chin on my shoulder as we watched the lights.

"I love you." His words were soft and full of affection, whispered silently into my ear, just meant to be heard by me, alone. It did wonders to me, my damn heart is beating so fucking loud I think he can hear it, my stomach is tying itself into shitty knots again.

"I love you, too."

Everything's perfect despite what happened in the past— we're in love, and despite the accident that happened and the memories that are lost, our love stood strong.

Or so I thought.


	29. When Shit Hits The Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suck at making chapter titles.

"Hey, Levi. Can I stay at your house?"

I looked up from my bag to look at Eren. He's already finished packing his things up, his bag slung over his shoulder. I closed my bag and slung it to my shoulder.

"What? Is that okay?"

 _You don't even need to ask._ But of course I wouldn't say that."Why?"

"My father's not home and I'll surely be bored out of my mind."

"Tch, do whatever you want." He smiled and nodded before taking my hand and started to walk. We went out of the room and went downstairs where everyone is waiting. We left the house and got inside the vehicle, our seats the same from last time.

I leaned my head against Eren's shoulder and he wrapped his hand around my waist. Hanji shifted themselves on their seat and looked at us.

"Did you do the do?"

"What the fuck, Hanji?!"

Eren shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Uhm, no..."

Hanji gave us a look. "Why?! It's an opportunity! Why did you waste it?!"

"Shut the fuck up, Hanji! Can you stop thinking about that?!"

They stopped but I can see them itching to ask fucking dumb questions. The thing that they're asking is too private. Why can't they just let that fact sink in to their dumb mind and stop pestering us?

This trip is going to last for hours so I decided to sleep instead of listening to Hanji's blabbering and eardrum-breaking singing—wailing if you ask me. I don't know how long I slept but when I woke up, Eren's head is leaning on my shoulder. This brat's going to have a stiff neck.

I gently pushed him, shifting his sleeping form carefully not to wake him up. I moved a little to the side, giving him more space as I laid his upper body and rested his head on my lap. I stared at his sleeping face, his face relaxed, his lips slightly agape as soft breaths came out of him. He looked so innocent, like he isn't been tainted by this cruel worlds filth, but I knew better than that. He experienced shits in his life, and that's what made him who he is.

I ran my fingers through his hair. He smiled in his sleep and I heard a soft, quiet, 'Levi' came out of his mouth. A smile threatened to show itself but instead of preventing myself from letting it show, I let it. This brat really can do fucking wonders.

For an hour, I let him sleep on my lap. Occasionally, I played with his small, button nose, letting my index finger tap it making him scrunched his nose. I always smirked at the sight. I'm about to do it again when his hand caught my finger, slowly opening his eyes. The sight entranced me once again, the color of his eyes leaving me breathless. He left a small kiss on the back of my hand.

"I didn't thought that you still had a child in you."

My eyes narrowed into slits. "I do not."

"Yes, you do. It was proven by your antics earlier."

I let him win without any argument. He continued to play with my hand, pressing it softly, pinching the tip of my fingers gently, in short, he's just being the little childish shit he is. But out of all the shits, he's the only shit that I love.

Wow, Levi. You're so fucking great. Does pertaining your boyfriend to a shit is the best thing you can do? I'll give you a fucking five star for that.

I looked down at him and saw him staring at me. He smiled and raised a hand, placing it over one of my cheek, letting his thumb move and leave gentle touches. His every touch leaves a lingering warmth, a kind that always leave me longing, never wanting myself to be away from it.

"You look beautiful, Levi."

I scoffed. "I'm not beautiful, Eren. Aside the fact that I'm not a fucking girl, I'm goddamn manly as hell."

A smirk crept up his lips. "For me, you're like a marshmallow. Sweet and soft."

"Marshmallow?" He's comparing me to a fucking marshmallow? Me? "Really, Eren? A fucking marshmallow?"

He casually shrugged before giving me a cheeky grin. "I love marshmallows."

"Well, you're a little shit."

He rolled his eyes and leaned up, pressing his lips on mine for a few seconds. He broke the kiss and looked at me straight in the eye.

"I'm addicted to your lips."

"Good then. I always apply heroine to it."

My answer earned me a chuckle and he laid down again. "Can I sleep a little longer?"

"Just go and sleep, you lazy shit."

He took one of my hand and laced our fingers together. It didn't take long until he fell asleep again, his face is somewhat more interesting to look at compared to anything. I tightened my hold to his hand and it didn't take long until I fell asleep.

Another hour later Mikasa, Eren, and I was dropped off at our place. We entered the house and the smell of butter cookies was very evident making it impossiblr for us not to be able to smell it.

"We're home!'

My mother somehow appeared from somewhere, wearing an apron and hair tied up in a single pony. She smiled at us. "Welcome home dears, I made some cookies."

She went to the kitchen and we followed, setting our bags beside the table. I saw how Eren practically drooled, too caught up with the delectable sight and smell. I shook my head when I remembered how much of a sucker he is when it comes to sweets. Mom saw how eager Eren is and laughed.

"Go on and have some, Eren."

He's already reaching a hand to get one when I slapped his hand. "Wash your hands first, Eren. I don't want your filthy hands touching and contaminating the food."

He glared at me and I glared back. He sighed and let out a silent ' _Fine_ ' before he made his way to the sink. I crossed my arms and watched him wash his hands. He swiftly made his way back, letting me examine his hands.

"Clean enough."

He grinned at me and pecked my lips before getting one of his precious sweets. He took a bite and closed his eyes, letting out a soft moan as my mother's baked cookies assaulted his taste buds. He finished all of it quickly, opening his eyes and looking at Mom with a grin.

"That's one of the best thing I ever tasted! It tastes so, so, so,  _great!_ "

"Thanks. It's called 'chewy oatmeal and raisin' cookies. I'm glad you like it. I'm going to make some tea."

She went to the counter and started to make some tea. We sat on the chairs, Eren continuously consume the cookies without care. I wouldn't be surprised if he chocked.

"Slow down, brat. The cookies won't run away if you slow down."

His cheeks was tainted by a light blush caused by embarrassment. "And now you're  blushing."

"Sorry... It's just that it tastes so good."

My mother came back holding a tray containing four cups of steaming tea. She gave each of us one, and we said our thanks in appreciation.

"Don't worry, Eren. I made plenty of it. I can teach you if you want to."

He perked up like a dog, excitement and gratefulness evident on his face. "Really?"

"Mhm, of course. Now, how did your trip go?"

They started taking, Eren and Mikasa doing most of the talks as I stayed silent, only humming in agreement and occasionally talking. After a good hour, we retreated to the comfort of our rooms, Eren staying beside me all the time.

"I'm going to get a shower."

He hummed in approval and laid down on my bed face first. I rolled my eyes and grabbed some clothes, sauntering towards the bathroom. I entered it and put down my clothes, proceeding to strip myself when my eye caught something that I fucking hate the most.

"Eren."

I can do nothing but stare at the cockroach, which was on the wall a good meter away from me. I hate that fucking insect. My eyes widen a bit as it started to move.

"Eren!"

I heard heavy footsteps and the door bursted open. He looked at me in worry. "Why?"

"Kill it..."

Now he looked confused. "Kill what?"

I pointed at the fucking disgusting thing on the wall. "Kill that thing! Fuck, hurry before it fly!"

He grabbed a slipper and slowly made his way closer to it. He slapped it hard, killing it. I sighed. I need to clean that later. He cleaned it and threw it out before looking at me.

"I didn't know you have some girl in you. You're scared of an insect."

A scowl found its home on my face. "That fucking insect is gross. Millions, maybe billions, of germs live in that thing. What would you fucking expect?"

He washed his hands and made his way out of the room. He slapped my ass on his way through. "Go on and take a shower, miss." He winked at me before he closed the door.

"Asshole."

We virtually did nothing throughout the day. We just laid down on the bed and cuddled, only getting up to eat or drink. When the night came, we did our night routines before we went to bed.

He laid on his back and I laid my head on top of his chest, hearing and feeling the pounding of his heart. "Oi, Eren."

"Hmm?"

"Why is your heart beating so loud?"

His arms that are wrapped around me tightened. "It always beats that way whenever you're with me, Levi."

Knowing his answer, I smiled and closed my eyes, tightening my hold on him. At least I'm not the only one who feels that way. Sleepiness caught up to me, his warmth and the sound of his heartbeat lulling me into a slumber.

"Good night, Levi. I love you. I'll never get tired of saying that."

And with that, my mind and body drifted into sleep where I dreamed about a turquoise-eyed brunet whose smile can beat the brightest of the stars.

*****

Life's fucking amazing. Just when you thought everything's alright, that's when shits will hit the fan and life will make a fucking 180°.

The week after our beach trip comes in normally. Eren acted like the shitty sap he is but I cannot deny the fact that I love it. I love it when he talks sweet to me until it made me cringe. He was so gentle and caring, like I'm some type of fragile glass he's so afraid of breaking. I love the attention. I love everything.

That is until Saturday came. I woke up, expecting another day to be spent with Eren. The only thing is, he never visited, I didn't received a single text from him—which was weird since he always text me when we're not together—and not a single call from him came. It made worry and anxiety build inside me, making me think about stupid fucking ideas.

When I heard the a knock on the door. I shot up to my feet and practically ran towards the door, expecting to see Eren. My hopes died down when I saw Armin.

"Good afternoon, Levi. Is Mikasa in there?"

"Yeah, just wait in the living room." I stepped aside and let him enter. He sat on one of the couches and I sat down on my seat earlier.

"Have you seen Eren?"

Armin looked at me with a confused look. "No, I thought that he'll be with you. He isn't here?"

"No shit, Sherlock. I wouldn't ask you if he's here."

I took out my phone and dialled Eren's number but it went straight to voicemail. I ended the call and went outside, dialling his number again. It went to voicemail like it did earlier.  _'Hello_ _. I'm currently busy at the moment. Just leave me a message and I'll get to you_ _later.'_ I couldn't hide my irritation and I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Eren, where the fuck are you? I'm fucking worried about you. Send me a message and tell me that you're fine. That's all I need."

I ended the call and went to my room, deciding to read to avert my attention from Eren. I opened my book entitled 'Misery' by Stephen King. I had read this plenty of times already but right now, I don't care about what I'm reading. Hell, I doubt that I'll understand a thing. I just need a distraction.

I started to read. The words seems to float and the letters looked jumbled but I continued to do so. I didn't know how long I read. A sound came out of my phone, the notification is set for Eren.

I took my phone without missing a beat, frowning when I read the message's content.

**_Eren:_ ** _M_ _eet me at the park. I'll be waiting._

I locked my phone and stood up, changing my clothes into a black hoodie and skinny jeans. I grabbed my phone, wallet and keys before I left my room.

I saw Mikasa sitting on the living room. She looked at me. "Where are you going?"

I put on my black Vans. "I'll go and see Eren."

"Can I come with you?"

I just gave her a nod and she stood up, making her way towards the door. She slipped on her Converse and we left. I drove and she sat on the passenger's seat.

Throughout the whole time, a feeling of anxiety was eating me. I ignored it and just focused driving, telling myself that it was nothing.

But man, I was so fucking wrong.

When I arrived at the park, Mikasa stayed in the car and I went out to meet with him. I felt something sparked when I saw him, the faint light of the moon giving me the ability to see him. He is sitting on a swing, his eyes trained to the floor. I walked to him until he's just a few feet away from me.

"Eren, you shitty brat. I was so fucking worried, why didn't you—"

I was cut off when he looked up and saw his face. He looked at me impassively and coldly, lacking any signs of warmth that he always have towards me.

"Eren? What's wrong?"

He stood up and our eyes met. Even his eyes looked dull but beneath it, I saw pain swimming inside his eyes. I felt something unpleasant in my stomach, making it churn. My heart started to beat frantically as I wait for him to say anything.

I felt my blood ran cold and my eyes widen when I heard the cold words that came out of his lips.

"I didn't know that you're such a fucking cheater, Levi."


	30. Already Over

"I didn't know that you're such a fucking cheater, Levi."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. Did he call me a 'fucking cheater'? The hell is he talking about?

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

His face remained impassive but his eyes gave away all of the emotions he's hiding. Confusion, pain, betrayal, that's what you can see in his eyes. "You're really asking me that? Really, Levi?"

"Yes I do! I don't have a fucking clue about what you're talking about!"

He took something out of his pocket. "Then I guess that you should see this." He threw something at me, making me catch it reflexively. I saw that it's a small envelope and I looked at him. "Open it and see it yourself, Levi."

I looked down at my hand and at the thing he threw me. Why do I have a feeling that this won't do any good to me?

I opened the envelope and my eyes widen at what I saw. There are plenty of pictures of Erwin and I, all of them are unrecognizable to me. I took it out and scanned them, not believing what I am seeing. What the fuck are these?

There are pictures of me together with Erwin, some are both of us holding hands, hugging and fuck, there are some in which we looked like kissing. It felt like my world froze as well as time, my blood running colder and colder as each second passed by. What the fuck are these? I never kissed anyone except Eren!

My body went stiff and I can't moved any muscle, my throat went dry as my gaze didn't leave the pictures in my hand. None of these pictures are true. None. I never cheated and I will never cheat. These are all fake.

I heard a humorless laugh came from Eren. It made me shot my head up to look at him, his impassive look now replaced by a pained one. A sharp pain hit my heart instantly. "What? Speechless? You can't believe that someone will catch you cheating with Erwin?"

His words rang throughout my mind like the sound of a gunshot amidst the silence. Is he believing this?

"No, Eren. Fuck, I would never do that to you! I—"

"Go on and lie! Make me believe in you with your lies again! Go on and make your way through this with your words! That's your specialty, right?! Making people believe in you through lying?! Because I sure did!"

I felt my blood boil. The feeling of rage, pain, disbelief, and betrayal ran throughout my whole system. So he really believe that this is true? That I am cheating on him with Erwin?

"What, Levi? Are you not going to defend yourself—"

"I can't fucking believe you."

My words cut him off. My voice came out in a low and hushed manner, my emotions slowly getting to me. "I can't fucking believe you, Eren. You really think that I can do that to you? Can you hear yourself, huh, Eren?"

I looked up to look at him straight in the eye. I can feel my eyes starting to sting, tears threatening to fall anytime but I fought it. "Do you really think that I can cheat on you for Erwin? I can't believe that you think so low of me."

"If you're not then what are those—"

I raised my hand holding the pictures. "Pictures? These are just pictures, Eren. It can be altered. Just because of that you're calling me a cheater? Are you even sure that these are all true?"

I walked closer to him and pushed him by his chest, letting the fucking sheets of paper painted with pathetic images hit his chest before it fell to the ground. I shot him a look of disbelief, of accusation, of disappointment. "Do you even ever trust me, Eren? After all the things that I did for you, after all the pain I brought to myself just for you, you're accusing me of cheating just because of those fucking pictures that some fucker who didn't have anything good to do with their shitty fucking lives gave you? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

I shook my head and let out a humorless laugh. I can feel my body tremble with anger. "I don't know what to fucking say to you, Eren. I rejected him two times for you. Two. Fucking. Times. Do you know how much that hurts? To know that you can never have that one person that you loved and longed the most? Of course, you fucking don't! It's me who give and give! I didn't left anything for me! I give all of me to you and this is what I'll fucking get?"

I ran my hands through my hair and tugged it. I wanted to scream, I wanted to think that this is just a nightmare. I wanted to escape from this and curl up into a ball, block all of this away, all the hurt, everything that keeps on bringing me pain. I can't fucking believe this. I don't want to believe this.

"Do you know how long I've waited for you? Do you know how hard it is for me to live in those two months you're asleep, fearing that any second, you'll die and leave me? Do you know how much pain I have to endure just by watching you and discover that you forgot who I am? You don't have a fucking clue! I hated myself for such a long time, hated myself that I fell for an oblivious little shit, hated myself for being such a huge fool just because I love you! And now you're accusing me just because of those fucking fake pictures?! If I cheated on you for Erwin, I never would've waited for you to wake up but I did! All you're bringing me is pain but do I ever complain? Hell fucking no!"

"Levi, I—"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear anything from you. I told myself that I'm going to give you up but I always found myself wanting you more. I tried to stay away but I always kept coming back. I don't know what you did to me, but I always found it hard to stay away from you.

"It's funny how the ones who can make you happy are the ones who can also break you. It's fucking ironic, really. Do people really like to be hurt? Or they are just being blinded by their feelings? I'm always beside you, I never stopped loving you,  _trusting_ you. Is it really that fucking hard for you to put your trust and believe me?"

I felt something dropped on my cheek. I looked up and saw that it started to rain. Great, even the weather is feeling my pain.

He reached out a hand but I slapped it away. "Don't you fucking dare touch me." Another wave of silence took over us as I let myself make my mind up. I'm so fed up. I don't think that I can do this anymore.

"I-I think that this is where I should draw the line. All of these are too fucking much. I don't think that I can do this anymore. I..." I sighed and looked down, my breathing heavy and hard as my chest started to tighten more. "...I'm breaking up with you. Maybe... maybe it'll help the both of us. I don't want to cause myself pain anymore. I should've done this a long time ago but I kept on hoping but... I can't fucking do this anymore."

I looked up and saw the pained expression on his face. The dam that's holding back my tears already broke, the salty drops of water flow down my cheeks in time with the feeling of thousands of sharp knives continuously assaulting my heart. I'm thankful that it's raining, he wouldn't see that I'm crying.

"I love you, Eren. I really do. I don't think that I can ever love someone as much as I love you but, this should end right now. I had enough of the pain. I'll treasure all of our memories. I-I won't forget about what we had."

He just stared at me but I can see his shoulders move as he cried. He looked down and curled his hands into fists, so tight that his nails are digging into his palm. He let out a broken sob and I felt my heart totally broke into million of shards.

"Oi, Eren." He looked at me. "Can I kiss you one last time?" Without answering, he quickly took a step forward and pulled me, our lips crashing into a kiss. I let out a sob as we kiss, feeling so broken and complete at the same time, clearing my mind out as I let this moment, the feeling of his lips against mine, the feeling of his warmth, his scent and his presence be burned in my mind, knowing that it may be the last.

I'm the one who broke the kiss to gasp for air and he quickly wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. He continuously let out broken sobs as I did too. "I'm sorry, Levi. I'm sorry."

He pulled away and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry... for everything."

I raised my hand and cupped his cheek, letting my hand caress his cheek. I used this opportunity to memorize his face, every detail that I could get. I let a small, lonely smile paint my lips. "I love you, Eren... I guess this is the end." I let go of his cheek and turned around, walking away from him.

As I walked away, I can hear his anguish cries, it made me want to change my mind, to go back and comfort him but this time, I didn't listen to what my heart said. I listened to my brain, the one who kept on telling me to end all of this. Without looking back, I walked away from our past, leaving every possibility of a future with us together behind, as well as my love for the shitty brat that I love the most out of all the things in this fucking cruel world.

I entered the car and told Mikasa to drive. She complied without any questions, probably guessing what just happened by the way I acted, sounded and looked. I felt so defeated, so broken, so hopeless. I just want to disappear.

I looked out to look at him one last time, seeing him kneeling on the ground, his head hanging between his shoulders. I broke my gaze away from him and closed my eyes, letting out all the pain by my broken cries.

_I'm sorry, Eren. But this is for the best. I'll always love you._


	31. Guilt, Hatred and Regret

When we arrived, I went out of the car as fast as I can and went straight to my room. I went to the bathroom and stripped out of my clothes before moving under the showerhead, letting the cold water run down my body. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on the wall.

Shit, I never thought that it would hurt this much. My mind is blank except for the only question that kept on running despite my attempts to dismiss it.

_Is he feeling the same pain I'm experiencing right now?_

Maybe, maybe not. I will never know. The only thing that I'm sure about is I am hurting, hurting so much that I just wanted to sleep and never wake up, and I hope that he's feeling the same pain that I did, or maybe much more. I want him to experience all of the pain that I received just from loving him, the pain of losing someone important to you but at the same time, I hate the thought of him hurting. It's a fucking crazy shit and it sure does drive me insane.

Out of all the things that can cause a couple to break up, I never thought that we will end just because of his petty accusation. Didn't he trust me enough for him to believe in those lies?

He doesn't. That's why you're sulking here, dumbass.

I let out a sigh. I didn't move from that place for who-fucking-knows-how-long in hopes that the cold water will somehow numb the pain. It feels like every fiber of my being feels the sharp pain, and my heart feels like giving up. When my skin started to prune from being soaked for too long that's when I decided to get out. I dried myself and wrapped myself in a towel before I went out, dressing myself into a more comfortable clothes.

My mind isn't working and it feels like my body is on autopilot. It moved itself towards the bed and let me lay on my back, dumbly staring at the ceiling. As I stared, an image of the chocolate brown haired, turquoise eyed brat came into my mind. I saw it smiling down at me until it became distorted, slowly changing into the sight of his face earlier, the one who looks so broken, tears running down his face as the sound of his cries left his lips.

Another wave of pain blossomed from my chest and I felt it radiate all over me. I clutched a hand to my chest as it continued to felt sharp pains, a vine that found its home in my heart long ago tightened in each second, its thorns plunging deeper and deeper. My lungs are suddenly gasping for air, and that's when I only noticed the wetness of my cheeks.

Now that I think about it, aren't I the one who caused this? I'm the one who ended everything between us, the one who gave up in the end despite fighting for it for so long. I'm the one who aren't strong enough to endure all the pain, the one who pathetically hoped that all the pain will end if what we had will be left and forgotten.

I forced my mind to stop thinking and blank out. Everything hurts, even thinking seems to worsen it. I curled into a ball, as tight and small as I possibly can, before covering myself with my blanket. I wanted to escape all of these, I wanted to sleep and never wake up.

With that thought in mind, I cried myself to sleep.

*****

I felt disappointment ran through me the moment I opened my eyes the next morning, aware of the fact that I need to through another day in this shit fest which is my life. I groaned as I sat up, stretching and making my bones pop before I rolled out of my bed. I lazily sauntered to the bathroom and the first thing I did is look at myself in the mirror, which is probably the worst way to start my day. My hair is a mess, my eyes bloodshot and puffy, my cheeks still tearstained from last night's crying. I wanted to punch the mirror at how shitty I look.

I tore my gaze away from my reflection and stripped out of my clothes, got inside the shower and cleaned myself. After I deemed myself clean, I went out and dried myself, wrapping my lower half with my towel before I left the bathroom and dressed. I heard a knock in my door.

"Come in."

The door was opened and I saw Mom from the doorway. "Come down and eat, Levi."

I nodded. "I'll go down in a few minutes."

She smiled at me but by the look in her eyes, I knew that Mikasa already told her what she knew about what happened last night despite me not telling her anything. "It'll be okay."

I didn't smile back, I just stared at her and watched her close the door. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

I just wanted this to end.

*****  
 **Eren's POV**

"Hey, Eren. Are you not going to get up? It's past eleven already!"

I groaned and buried my head under my pillow. I don't want to get up. Why can't he see that and go away?

"Go away, Armin."

"Ugh, I'm asking you what your problem is but you said it's nothing and now you're acting like a kid. Really Eren?"

I removed the pillow from my head and threw it at Armin. I glared at him as he caught the pillow and looked at me. The slightly irritated look on the coconut's face was suddenly replaced by a confused and worried one when he saw me.

"Wow, Eren, you look—"

"Like shit. You don't need to remind me that."

Another groan slipped past my lips as I rolled onto my back, blankly staring at the white ceiling above me. It reminded me from the time when I was still in the hospital. I felt the bed dipped—probably because of Armin because, who else? We're the only ones here,—and I removed my gaze from the ceiling.

"Are you still not going to tell me?"

I just looked at him as an answer. He sighed and nodded his head, standing up and started to walk towards the door. He opened it and got outside, holding the door open as he stood in the doorway.

"I'm going to make lunch. Just go down if you want to eat."

He closed the door, leaving me alone in my room. I sighed and closed my eyes, soaking in the silence that I get. After I stared at nothing in pure silence for minutes, I sat up and got off of my bed.

My attention was caught by the envelope resting on top of my nightstand, the pictures that caused an end to my relationship with Levi. I scowled at it like it would do anything to the shitty pieces of paper and picked it up, scanning each and every picture with the feeling of guilt and hurt pooling inside me. I ripped all of it as my anger got the best of me, as if destroying it can fix the shit it caused, fix what happened between us, fix the relationship that it has broke, and I threw it to the nearest trash can.

I took a quick shower and dressed before I went down to the kitchen where Armin is. I sat down on a chair and watched as Armin sets a plate for the both of us and laid everything we need on the table. He sat in front of me, starting to put food on both of our plates. I just stared at the food on my plate, my appetite long gone since last night.

Armin seems to notice it since he gave me a warning look. "Eat, Eren. You didn't eat last night. Are you planning to starve yourself?"

 _Maybe_ _I do._ "Why do I feel like there are two Mikasa now?"

He rolled his eyes and huffed. "That's not the point, Eren. If you don't want to tell me, fine. I won't force you to. But you need to eat. I won't take no as an answer."

I shifted my gaze to the plate in front of me, my stomach feeling bad just by staring at it. Not that it looks bad, it smells good to be honest, but I don't think that I can stomach any food right now, not now that it's filled with so much guilt.

I can feel Armin watching me. I raised my fork and took a piece of the chicken and ate it. I also took a bit of mashed potato and ate it, making Armin sigh in relief and also start eating. I ate half of the food before my stomach protested and I stopped.

"Hey, Armin."

He looked away from his food to look at me. "What?"

"I..." Maybe telling him will lessen the pain and guilt I'm feeling. Letting some things out can lessen the burden. "I messed up."

He tilted his head a little to the side, his face wearing a confused look. "Messed up what?"

I looked down and the hand resting on my lap curled into tight fists. "I messed up with Levi and he... He broke up with me."

I heard his utensils clank so I looked up only to see him staring at me with wide eyes. He stayed like that for a while before shook his head, letting out a forced laugh.

"Ha, ha, Eren. Funny. Now stop joking."

I can see that he already knew that it was true, judging by the way he answer, he's convincing himself that I'm just fooling him but I knew that deep inside, he's believing it. He saw the way I acted, and that is enough proof. I just stared at him blankly and he gave me a look that I couldn't describe.

"Come on, Eren. That's not funny. It's—"

"It's true, Armin. I messed up. He got fed up, and he ended all. It's all my fault."

He shot me a look of doubt. "Can you- can you tell me what happened?"

I told him the whole story, how I accused him just because of the goddamn pictures, how Levi bursted out all of his thoughts, all of his pains, and told him how Levi walked away from me, away from the relationship that's supposed to be happy but was broken because of lack of trust. Reliving the scene where I last kissed him shot an undescribable pain throughout me and I can't help the tears that rolled down from my eyes. I hate myself for being such a big fucking idiot. I hate myself for not trusting him enough and most of all, I hate myself for breaking the person who did nothing but love me and stayed beside me despite all of the pain I gave him. I gave him too much pain for a strong, stoic, uncaring man like him to walk away from me, from my life. I never regretted anything more than this.

Armin watched me as I cry while blaming and hating myself, his eyes full of sympathy, of pity.

"I didn't want any of this to happen. My feelings messed me up that I didn't think before I act. I fucked up. Now all that I have with him is gone. It hurts so fucking much." I continued to cry and dug my nails to my palm.

"Eren, I don't want to say this but... you really are the only one to blame. You didn't trust him despite knowing everything he did for you. To be honest, Levi really is a strong person for staying beside you for so long. Let me ask you this; do you know who sent you those pictures?"

That made me stop. I don't even know who gave me those. I looked at him with wide eyes, the realization made me feel more guilt, adding more fuel to the anger I felt inside. He shook his head and stood up, taking the plates before he looked down at me.

"Someone wanted to break your relationship with Levi and it seems like they succeed. I don't know if you can fix the mess you made, considering how large it is and how deep you hurt Levi this time, but I guess that it wouldn't hurt if you try. You should apologize and make up with him, show him that you're really sorry. The rest is up to you, Eren. Love him or leave him. That's your only choice."

And with that, he left me alone with my thoughts.


	32. Fist Fights

**Eren's POV**

Three days...

It's been three days since Levi broke up with me but the emotions that built up inside me was never lifted. Everything that happened on that day is still burned in my mind and every time I closed my eyes, the memory automatically repeats itself, the regret and guilt that's inside me growing more and more. I wanted to go back in time and correct every stupidity I've done but I can't. This isn't supposed to be happening, we would still be together right now not for my recklessness. Levi don't deserve everything I gave him. Maybe this is life's way of making him realize that I'm not worthy enough to have him. That there's nothing I can give him but pain.

What Armin told me days ago was always repeating in my mind. Love him or leave him. I'm torn between the two. I know deep inside me that I want him— I want to be by his side always, be the one he woke up to every morning, be the one who's beside him in his life until the day for our end come. There's nothing that I wanted more than that. But what keeps me from taking a chance on fixing everything I messed up was Levi himself. He's just too perfect, I don't think that I'll be enough for him— I don't believe that I'm worthy enough to be by his side. There are plenty people out there who is much more deserving of him than me, and I don't want to take that opportunity away from him. The chance of him to have someone who can trust him and love him much more than what I did and gave him.

The thought of Levi ending up with someone other than me sent a bitter taste to me. I frowned at the ceiling I'm staring at, ignoring how childish I acted. I haven't seen nor heard anything about Levi since that night. I am itching to call him but I always end up not doing it. I don't know if he wanted to talk to me after that.

Another sigh left my lips. My shitty days were so unproductive. I did nothing but lay in my bed, eat, sleep, and clean myself in the past few days. I hate it, but it's not like I have the motivation to do anything.

A knock came from the door and I tore my gaze away from the ceiling. The door opened and I saw Armin stood by the doorway.

"Hey, Eren."

"Do you need anything?"

He shook his head and entered the room, silently closing the door behind him. I watched him walked towards me and sat on the bed. I also sat up and faced him, trying to think of any reason why he's here.

"What are you—"

"I talked with Mikasa yesterday."

His answer cut me off. He talked with her? What did she said? Is she mad at me? Does she want me to stay away from Levi? Many possibilities of what happened flooded my head as Armin stayed silent. My throat turned dry and so is my lips. I wet my lips and trapped my lower lip between my teeth, gathering up the courage to ask what I wanted to know.

"What... What did she say?"

"She's mad at you, Eren." Well, that's blunt. "I never saw her act like that. She said that she can't believe what you did. I saw how worried she is for Levi and that's what made her so stressed out. She calmed down in the end, though, and I guess that that's a good thing."

"Does she want me to stay away from Levi?"

He shifted himself on the bed, crossing his legs and is now facing me. "No, she didn't. She told me that that depends on Levi. Now, Eren, tell me. Have you made up your mind yet?"

What he asked made me silent. I don't know. I haven't made up my mind, yet. I opened my mouth just to close it again when nothing came out. I took a deep breath and sighed, looking down at my curled fists that's resting on my lap. "I haven't."

"Why? Is it that hard? Is it really that easy for you to give him up?"

My head shot up to look at him. "What?! No! It's not that!" He just gave me a blank look, waiting for me to voice out my reasons. I ran my hand through my hair and tugged it. "It's just that I don't think that I'm good enough for him. Maybe this happened to open up his eyes and see that I don't deserve him. Hell, I didn't even trust him enough after all that he did. I think it'll be best for him to find another—"

"Eren." Armin's stern voice cut me off from my reasoning. I looked at him and saw him giving me a disappointed look. "Do you think he'll like to hear whatever you're saying now? He wouldn't. He waited for you because he loves you. It doesn't matter to him if you think you're deserving or not. He chose to be with you after all the pain you gave him because he loves you and for him that's enough reason.

"You know what, Eren? You may not deserve him now, but you can make yourself worthy for him. It may not be easy, but you can. You can fix everything and make up to him, prove to him everything you want to prove. Give the both of you a second chance because I can see how much you love each other. This is just one of those trials that you'll face along the way, and I would hate to see your relationship with him fall out just like that. Now, Eren, I'll ask you again. Have you made up your mind yet?"

I don't know what powers Armin has but I never felt so sure about something in my whole life. I am sure now. I'm going to win Levi back, no matter what it takes.

"I have, and I'm going to win him back."

"That's the Eren I knew."

He raised a hand and we high five-d. I then put my arm around his neck and used my other hand to ruffle his hair. "Thanks, man. You really helped a lot."

"That's nothing. Now, get your lazy ass off of that bed and we'll start winning Levi back."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

He smiled at me in an innocent way, but his eyes glint in a kind of mischievous way. I think I won't like where this will be heading. "I heard that Levi's going somewhere today."

I raised an eyebrow at his answer. "And?"

"You're going to talk to him, Eren."

*****

Armin and I are currently inside Armin's grandfather's car, parked just a few blocks away from Levi's house. We're just waiting for Levi to come out, and I'm still not believing that I agreed to Armin's little plan.

"Hey, Eren. He already went out."

Armin's voice snapped me out of my trance and I looked out to watch Levi enter his car. When he already pulled out of the driveway and started driving down the road, Armin started to follow him.

"Hey, Armin. Are you sure that this is okay?"

He hummed and nodded his head as a response. "Even if Levi doesn't want to talk to you, just keep on trying, okay? There's a huge chance that you'll get rejected but don't stop. He'll give in eventually."

I sighed in response and kept my attention fixed at Levi's car. We followed it around until we reach the park.

What will he be doing in a park?

Armin parked the car a few meters away from Levi. We watched him get out of his car and was greeted by Hanji and Erwin. They went to some spot that is being shaded by a tree, Hanji setting out a blanket to sit on. They also brought out a basket, probably full of foods.

"A picnic? Really?"

Armin looked at me and shrugged. "Levi didn't go out of his room for days. Maybe they thought that it would be good for him to experience fresh air."

We stayed silent after that, just watching the three of them talked. Levi barely talked and he didn't eat anything Hanji offered to him, ignoring the pleading look on their face. My stomach churned as I watched Erwin talked to Levi, my jealousy acting once again. I want to get out of the car and approach them, pull Levi close to me and tell Erwin to stay away from  _my_  Levi but of course, I fucking can't. Levi and I's relationship ended days ago, stripping me off of any rights to claim him as mine. The thought sent a bitter taste to me and I can't help the scowl that made it's way to my face.

After half an hour or so, I saw Levi stood up and excused himself. I acted fast, getting out of the car and slamming the door shut and strode towards him, ignoring the calls from Armin. I kept my eyes on him and I didn't notice another person who is making their way towards me.

When I'm just a few meters away from Levi, a hand landed on my shoulder, cutting me off of my tracks. My body became tense, immediately knowing who stopped me from reaching Levi. I turned around and shrugged the hand off of me, my eyes landing on the taller man behind me.

"What?" My voice was full of hostility towards him. I glared at him while he kept a straight face.

"I don't think that he's ready to talk to you."

"Wait, are you Levi?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes before returning my glare at him. "You're not him so you're not the one who's going to decide whether he's ready or not."

I quickly turned around to search for Levi but before I could even take a step, his large hand gripped my arm, preventing me from following Levi. I glared at him again and he's wearing a serious look on his face. "Get your hands off of me."

"And then, what? You'll follow him again and ask for another chance, and when it's given to you you're going to hurt him all over again? I won't allow you to do that, Eren."

I pulled my arm away, forcefully removing his tight grip from it. "Why? So you can go act like a fucking knight in shining armor and use this situation to have Levi? I'm not asking for your permission, Erwin. I'm going to do it even if you won't allow me. I won't let you stop me."

"Why don't you just stop, huh? Can't you see how much you already hurt him?"

His response made something inside me snap, and I didn't think twice when I punched him. My fist landed on his jaw and he fell back, losing his balance and fell to the ground. He held his jaw before looking at me, looking pissed off. He stood up before he swung his fist at me, also hitting me on my jaw. I stumbled a few steps back, his punch left a sharp pain but like hell I'm going to back down.

I took a step back and punched him again in the jaw. He returned it by punching me by my stomach and the fist fight between us started. We punched and dodged, trying to hit and avoid each other's blow. I heard Armin yelling for us to stop, Hanji alongside him. We didn't listen and continued blowing punches to each other until two arms wrapped around me and tried to drag me away from Erwin. Hanji was by Erwin's side, trying to calm him down as Armin did the same to me. We're both glaring at each other, the rage inside me still not settling down.

"Do you think that I wanted that to happen?! I don't! I never wanted to hurt him so don't you dare talk like I planned for that to happen!"

"Why, Yeager? Aren't you the one who accused him of cheating just because of those pathetic pictures?"

"You fucker!" The anger inside me lit up more and all I want to do is to destroy this guy's face. The expression on his face morphed into something I can't describe.

"Can't accept that fact? If you didn't act based on your feelings only, if only you used your mind before you acted, Levi wouldn't be hurting this much by now!"

"Stop talking and just fight me!"

I once again resisted from Armin's grip when I heard Levi's voice. "What the fuck is happening here?"

I stopped and turned my head to where the voice came from and saw Levi standing just a few feet away from us. I immediately calmed down and Armin released me, Hanji doing the same to Erwin.

Levi sighed and ran his hands through his hair, a scowl settled on his face. "I fucking came here to get away from stress and now you're fighting like a damn kid?"

"Levi, I wanted to—"

"Haven't I already told you that he doesn't—"

"Erwin." His tone was stern and a stoic look was on his face, making Erwin's mouth snapped shut. He looked away when he did and Levi looked at me, his face softening. Now that I am looking at him, that I am near him, I realized how much I missed to have him beside me each day. I want to have him beside me again, just like how we used to.

"Eren..." Oh, how much I missed to hear him call my name. "I don't think that I'm ready to talk to you but if that time comes, I'll let you know."

Not waiting for my response, he turned away from us and walked to his car, get inside it and drive away. I watched his car get away until it's out of my sight. I started walking back to where Armin's grandfather's car is when Erwin suddenly spoke.

"I won't allow you to have him again, Yeager."

"Watch me, Smith. I'll make him mine again."


	33. Protecting A Drunk Lover

**Eren's POV**

"Ouch! Armin, be a little gentle, will you?"

Armin ignored me and continued to clean the cuts in my face. It doesn't feel like cleaning to me, though. He's so rough I think that it'll bleed more if he continues. I winced as the alcohol soaked cotton-ball made contact with my cuts. 

"I can't believe that you fought with Erwin." The cotton made contact to my face again before he set his hand down, looking at me like a parent that's disappointed in their child. I knew that since I always get a lot back then. "Why did you punch him?'

I huffed and crossed my arms, scowling as the scene replayed itself in my mind. "Why wouldn't I? Didn't you see how he acted earlier? It's like I planned for all of these to happen! Hell, he's even telling me to stay away from Levi. Like hell I'm going to do that. He can go shave his fucking eyebrows and see if I give a fuck."

He has a serious look on his face as he looked at me straight in the eyes. "That doesn't mean that you need to start a fist fight between the two of you. We went there to  _talk_  to Levi, not for you to start smashing faces with Erwin."

"Why does it feels like you're siding with him?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically, making his eyes almost lose its irises. "I'm not siding with him, Eren. I'm just making you realize that what you did was foolish. Haven't you heard what he said earlier? He came there to relax, not to stop two guys from smashing off each other's faces. I think that you just made the situation worse."

That shut me up. He's right. I just made Levi more stressed with what I've done. Why can't I control myself when it comes to Levi? I groaned as I let my upper body fall back to my bed, eyes shutting close as I did. "Do you think that he'll talk to me again?"

"I can't say it. We just need to wait and see."

"I don't think that I can wait any longer. I missed him so much."

"Patience is a virtue, Eren. That time will come sooner or later."

*****  
 **Levi's POV**

It's been a week since I broke up with Eren. Those days went on like years— time just seems to fucking enjoyed making me feel the pain longer. The pain never ceased, in fact it grew more and more each day, accompanied by the longing I'm feeling for him, it's a very unwelcome feeling but it's not like I can do anything about it.

It's hard to get him out of my head. His image, so fucking vivid I think that he's just in front of me, appears in my head every damn time I closed my eyes. I can still feel the ghost of his warmth on my skin, the ghost of his scent that got me addicted and always assaulting my senses, the ghost of his voice that kept on ringing inside my head, the ghost of his presence that always keeps me feel safe and loved. All of these things are driving me insane, but I don't like to let it all drift away from my mind, from me.

I never felt so hopeless, never felt this kind of pain in my whole life. It's like the pain is killing me slowly and I'm just waiting for my time to come.

When I saw Eren when we went to the park, I realized how much I fucking missed that brat. It felt nice to actually felt his presence near me again, to be able to hear that smooth voice of his after dreaming of it for so long.

He asked me if he can talk to me and I said that I'm not yet ready. I am torn between giving him another chance and stopping my foolishness. I love him so fucking much that it hurts, but sometimes you need to let go of those who are important to you. It may be for the better or for worst, but you'll never know what it will be until you do it.

My thoughts was cut off when a knock resounded across the room. I shift my gaze from the ceiling to the door, just in time to see my mother enter. She gave a smile and closed the door silently behind her.

"How're you, son?"

I sat up and she sat near me. I shrugged and acted indifferent. "Fine. Just bored."

She ran her hand through my hair, pushing back my bangs. The act was full of affection, reminding me of something that my mother hold over me— she's the one who know me so well, sometimes even better than I know myself. Even though I acted like what happened between Eren and I is nothing, I know that she saw right through my façade, saw how fucking broken I am inside. I shrugged off all of their concern when the truth is all of it are too fucking much that I think that I'll just give up.

"Levi... You know that you can tell me anything, right?" Her voice came out soft, reassuring me that it's okay, that telling her would lessen the heaviness in my chest.

I looked down at my lap, letting my head hang low between my shoulders. She continued running her hands through my hair as I tried to straighten up the thoughts inside my mind.

"It fucking hurts." The words that came out of my mouth was labored, having it the first time for me to release something out of my chest. " I never thought that it would hurt this much. It just hurts."

I sounded so broken, so defeated that I almost didn't recognize it as my own. I tried to fight off the tears that welled in my eyes but as soon as I felt her pulled me into a hug, the dam that's holding back my tears broke, letting the salty liquid fall and roll down my face quickly. I rested my head on her shoulder, my tears soaking her shoulder as she rubbed comforting circles on my back. I didn't give a fuck if I looked so weak knowing that she won't ever judge me.

"I- I don't know what to do. I m-miss him so fu-fucking much I think I'm going i-insane. I want t-to feel him again, to be with a-again but I'm scared. I-I don't want to cause myself any pain anymore and b-by staying beside him, I k-know that it'll n-never end."

I continued to sob, my hands that are  subconsciously gripping her shirt tightening. She whispered softly to me, saying comforting things in an attempt to coax me into it.

"Levi..." She pulled away and looked at me. "Where there is love, there is pain and hurting. You can't just love someone without hurting one way or another; it's a part of the system and it's not something you can erase."

She took one of my hand and stared at it, once again rubbing circles on the back of my hand with her thumb. "No one can love without having to experience pain. If you love someone without feeling hurt, then that is not true love. If you truly love someone, you'll learn how to sacrifice your own happiness to provide theirs. You'll learn how to endure all of the pain just to keep them by your side. Loving is learning, and to learn you need to know how to sacrifice. That's just the way love is, Levi."

She looked up from my hand to my face, a soft smile on her face. She once again ran her hands through my hair, brushing back my bangs to look at my face clearly. "Based on what I saw and heard, you love him. You shouldn't waste it because true love only comes once. If you feel like you really love him, fight for it. Forget all of your fears. It will be worth it in the end. I don't want to see you hurting, Levi."

She stood up and cupped my cheeks with both of her hands, using her thumb to wipe the tears before leaving a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I love you. Take your time to think about what I told you."

She left the room and I was left to ponder over her words. I groaned in frustration and grabbed my phone, dialling the number of my old friends that I didn't see for a long time. I held the phone near my ear and after three rings, he answered.

"Farlan, get Izzy and we'll meet at the bar. The usual place." And I hung up.

*****  
Eren's POV

I'm driving around the town when I saw Levi's car pulling out of the driveway. Curiosity got the best in me and I followed him, dialling Armin's number.

"Eren, what—"

"Get ready, I'll fetch you in twenty minutes."

"Huh? What? Why?"

"You told me to talk to Levi, right? I'm going to do it now and you're coming with me."

"Wait, Eren. I—"

I ended the call not letting him finish. I won't take no as an answer. I focused on driving and followed Levi around, only stopping when I saw him parked at a bar's parking lot. I watched him get out of his car and walked to the bar, flashing the guard a card before getting in. When he's out of sight, I hurriedly went to fetch Armin. After fifteen minutes of driving, I arrived and I hopped out of my car, running towards Armin's doorstep and nearly tripping. I pressed the doorbell continuously and it didn't take long until Armin opened the door. I let him lock the door before I pulled him to my car, pushing him inside to the passenger's seat and I entered the other side, driving fast to Levi's location.

"Eren, can you at least tell me where we're going?"

"A bar. Levi is in there."

He shifted on his seat, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. "How did you know?"

"I may have accidentally seen him pulled out of their driveway and followed him."

He snorted and rolled his eyes in amusement. "Yeah, accidentally. Go and tell it to the world, Eren."

"Shut up, you little coconut." My answer caused him to laugh and after that we travelled in silence.

When we arrived, I parked the car and got out. I locked the doors and walked to the bar, Armin trailing behind me. We were blocked by the guard to check our ID and we showed him a fake one (courtesy to Jean) and he lets us enter.

The smell of alcohol and smoke assaulted our senses as soon as we set a foot inside. A mass of sweaty bodies are on the dancefloor, wild and intoxicated. As we walked further inside the place, we saw a couple of people making out, some are already at the peak of their heats. I turned my head away in a flash and ignored all the obscene sounds that can be heard despite the loud music.

We saw Levi together with a guy with ash-colored hair and a girl with red hair by the bar counter with drinks in front of them. I turned to look at Armin with a questioning look and he seems to understand what I meant.

"That's Farlan and Isabel, childhood friends of Levi. You've already met them before but can't remember because of your amnesia."

I nodded and made my way to a place that's a bit far to them but still give me the ability to watch them. I sat down on a couch and Armin sat beside me. I set all of my attention to Levi, only to be cut off by Armin's tugging.

"How do you plan to talk to him?"

I returned my gaze to Levi and watched hi  talk to them before shifting my gaze back to Armin. "I don't know."

Armin rolled his eyes at my stupidity. "That's what I thought. Whatever, you can try to talk to him outside when he leaves."

I nodded as a response and continued to watch Levi. He ran his hands through his hair while speaking, the distance between us making it impossible for me to hear what he's saying. I watched how his lips move and I suddenly felt my longing to feel that soft lips against mine again. I watched its every move until it moved to form a certain name. My name.  _Eren._

I felt the urge to approach them, to listen to whatever they're talking about. I'm itching to know why he said my name. Is he telling them how much he hates me? How I made him so unhappy? The thought of it made my stomach twist.

He continued to drink, one shot after the other. I don't know how much he already drank, but based on the slightly dazed and flustered look on his face, I know that the alcohol is already starting to get to him. Farlan and Isabel stood up, asking something to Levi in which he declined before they left and went to the dancefloor. Levi continued to drink and I saw how one guy approached him. He tried to talk to Levi only to get ignored. I saw him took something out of his pocket and gestured for the bartender to lean in, whispering something to the girl which made her eyes widen. She shook her head in response but when the guy talked again, her face went pale and reluctantly accepted whatever the guy was giving.

I stood up and Armin held my arm. "Where are you going?"

"I'll just make sure that Levi will be safe."

I forced Armin to release his grip on my arm and I walked towards them, just in time to watch the girl pour something into Levi's drink with shaky hands. She stirred it before setting it in front of Levi.

He held his glass and slowly lifted it up to his mouth. My eyes widen and I strode the remaining distance between us but before I can even stop him, he downed the drink.

"Can you tell me your name, hot stuff?" The guy went closer to Levi and it made my blood boil. This bastard is getting too close. He tried to set his hand on Levi's thigh but Levi slapped it away.

"Get your fucking hands off of me." I can tell that he's a bit drunk because of how his words slurred a bit as they came out. He glared at the guy who's flirting with him. "Stay the fuck away from me."

"Ooohh, playing hard to get? I'll get what I want from you later so stop acting so feisty."

The guy grabbed Levi's wrist and yanked him to his feet. Levi tried to pull away but was proved fruitless. "Come on, tell me your name."

"What the fuck did you put in my drink?"

The guy smiled evilly when he saw Levi's state, using the opportunity to put his hands on Levi's thigh. My blood boil at the act and all I wanted to do now is to kill him. "I didn't put anything in it. Are you not feeling well? I can take you somewhere."

"L-let go of my fucking arm."

"I don't think that—"

"Get the fuck away from him."

Both of him were startled when I suddenly spoke. I can feel my anger radiating out of me. How dare he talk to Levi like that? I'm pretty fucking sure that he put something in his drink.

"Who are you? And would you stop interrupting us?"

"Interrupting? As far as I see, he didn't want to talk to you. Forcing some guy now, aren't we?"

He let go of Levi's wrist and Levi fell back to the seat, groaning with a hand on his head. The fucker grabbed me by my collar and I noticed that he's a bit taller than me. He glared at me. "What the fuck did you say?"

"Oh, I didn't know that you're deaf."

"What?!"

"And now, you're also an idiot."

"You fucker!"

He tried to punch me but I quickly grabbed it and twisted it before kicking him in his stomach. He stumbled back and I grabbed his collar, landing a punch on his face. He feel to the floor and I straddle him. "Nobody can touch him and force him like that, you fucker! If he told you to get away, get away!" I continued to punch his face, not caring about his bloody face and bloody knuckles. I heard Armin shouted for me to stop and tried to pull me away but I struggled against his grip. I felt a stronger pair of arms pulled me, I looked back and saw Farlan.

The guy scurried away and Farlan only let go of me when he's out of sight. I wiped the blood on my knuckles to my shirt and I brushed my clothes before looking at Armin. "I'll take him to their house. Armin, you can go use my car, I'll use Levi's. I'll text you later."

 I wiped the blood on my knuckles to my shirt as I walked a bit until I'm beside Levi and I raised a hand to cup his flustered cheeks. He looked up at me and I saw a dazed look on his face.

"Eren?"

  A chuckle escaped from my lips and I can't help but smile when I saw how cute he is. "Yes, Levi. I'll take you home now."


	34. Make A Move

**Eren's POV**

"Yes, Levi. I'll take you home now."

He looked at me first and nodded, his flushed face making him look cuter. He looked so innocent like this, the usual glare or frown on his face is gone, making him look like a fragile child. I grinned when he tried to stand up and failed, my reflex acting as I caught him for support. I hooked his arm over my shoulder and we started walking, making our way through the mass of bodies and finally reaching the exit. I led Levi to his car but just after taking a few steps, he started squirming out of my grasp.

"Hey, Levi, stop squirming."

"No, I don't want to go with you. You're not Eren."

He pushed me away and I let go of him. He started walking, slightly swaying on his feet. I walked beside him and watched him mumble something out of his breath. I stopped him by grabbing his arm and I stood in front of him.

"Listen, Levi. I am Eren and I'm going to take you to your house. You're too drunk to drive and I won't risk you getting in an accident."

"You're not Eren. If you're Eren, you're not supposed to be here."

"I am Eren, Levi. Believe me."

"You can't order me around, you little shit."

Once again he squirmed out of my grasp. I sighed and placed my hand on his back and the other on the back of his knees. Because of his intoxication, his usual strength was gone which made him unable to push me away and I easily lifted him off of his feet. He tried resisting until he rested his head on my shoulder and not a minute after, he started sniffing me.

"W-what are you doing, Levi?"

"You smell like Eren."

"That's because I'm Eren."

He continued snuggling, the feeling of his hot breath on my skin sent goosebumps all over me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I tried my best to resist the urge to kiss him as I walked to his car. I set him down to his feet and I tried to search for his car keys which is at his pant's front pocket. I swallowed and looked at him first before I casually slid my arms to his pocket. I let a sigh of relief when I finally took it out before I opened the door and carried him to the passenger seat.

I sat him down on the car seat, buckled up his seat belt and closed the door before jogging to the driver's seat. I entered and buckled up the seat belt before I started to drive.

"Hey, do you know Eren?"

I'm about to answer that I AM Eren but something entered my mind. "Hmm? Who's that?"

"He's a shitty brat. A shitty, idiotic brat with anger issues who did nothing but break my heart. That fucker, I don't fucking know why I fall for him."

I don't know if I should laugh or get offended but by seeing him, arms crossed and his bottom lip pushed forward a bit, I can't help but chuckle.

"What does he look like?"

"He has this chocolate brown hair that always looked like it wasn't brushed, his skin is a perfect tan and the little shit is taller than me! But I love his eyes. It reminds me of the ocean. Every time I stare at it, I always get lost. It's just full of life, just like that bag of shit."

He continued mumbling until he passed out. I am always taking a sidelong glance, watching him sleep peacefully. It didn't take long until we reached his place and I parked his car, getting out of the car and getting Levi, carrying him towards their front door. I used my forehead the use the doorbell and I didn't wait too long when Kuchel opened the door not even a minute after.

"Eren? What are you— "She looked confused at first—who in the right mind would visit at ten in the evening?— until her eyes landed on the body I'm holding. "Oh my, come in."

She stepped out of the way and opened the door for me, letting me enter their house easily. "Uhm, where would I put him?"

"To his room, please."

I nodded and she led the way to his room, opening the door for me. I walked to his bed and gently laid him on it, watching him snuggle into one of his pillow immediately. I heard the door closed and Kuchel is suddenly beside me, watching his son quietly as she cover him with his blanket before turning to look at me. "Sorry for being an inconvenience to you, Eren."

I shook my head quickly and raised both of my hands. "Oh, it's nothing. I won't let him drive himself and get himself in an accident." I then looked at his face, memorizing the relaxed look on his face. "I don't think that I can handle that."

"I'll leave you two alone." She squeezed my shoulder before she left the room, leaving me alone with a very drunk and sleeping Levi. I knelt down beside the bed and stared at his face, brushing his bangs away from his face to get a clearer view.

I really missed him so fucking much. I missed him so much that he started to haunt my dreams and now that he's just in front of me, I'm trying to resist every urge to kiss him and wrap my arms around him again like how we did back then. My heart ached when a voice spoke inside my head, telling me that it's too late, that I couldn't get him back again and I did my best to will that thought away.

"Levi." I know that he wouldn't hear me but I didn't care. I want to tell him everything, how much I missed him, how much I am regretting what I did, how sorry I am for always hurting him. It's pathetic and useless I know, but that wouldn't change the fact that somehow, I gathered all of my courage to tell him everything I feel. "I miss you so fucking much. Maybe you're right, I'm just a stupid brat, a stupid brat who doesn't deserve you, who did nothing but hurt you after all those things that you did for me. But still, I can't stay away from you. I regret everything that I've done and I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am for breaking you again. I want to have you again, to be with you again but I don't think that I should."

I stopped to even out my breathing, tears starting to form in my eyes. I gasp for air as the ache in my chest started to get more painful and I took Levi's hand in mine and squeezed it. "I don't know what's gotten into me for me to believe those things. Maybe I just felt so insecure because I'm just a shitty brat with anger issues and you're— you're just too perfect. I don't know what I did to have you and I just wasted all of it."

I couldn't hold back the tears and I started crying, hoping that Levi is conscious right now so he can see how sorry I am. I kissed his hand and let my lips linger on it for a few seconds before I started speaking again. "I'm sorry for what I've done. I hope that you can give me another chance because I... I love you so fucking much, Levi."

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and leaned over to kiss Levi on his forehead, trailing down to his nose and finally, his lips. I let myself savor the moment, to let myself feel the warmth and softness of his lips before I slowly and reluctantly pulled away. I stood up and composed myself as much as I can—which I doubt that will help me fix the mess I am—before I started walking silently towards the door. I heard him shuffled and the words that came out of his lips caught me off guard.

"Eren..."

My eyes widen and my heart jumped when I heard him called my name. I turned around and saw him still sleeping. Did he really call my name or am I just hearing things?

Before I can even create a concrete thought, he started to speak again.

"Eren, don't leave me. It's cold... please."

Before I can even process what he said, my body was already moving towards him again. I lifted the cover and slid next to him, pulling him close to me. He snuggled closer to me, sighing softly as he found a comfortable place. I kissed his forehead lightly before resting my chin on top of his head and wrapping my arms around him. I don't know it's alright to do this but I'll do it anyway.

"Good night, Levi. I love you."

*****

I woke up early the next day with Levi still inside my arms. I moved carefully not to wake him up and I slid out of the bed. Giving one last look on Levi's sleeping form and another kiss on his forehead, I left the room and silently closed the door. I sighed and texted Armin to fetch me before I started walking downstairs, meeting Kuchel at their living room. She smiled at me when she saw me and it made me wonder why she still treat me so kindly after what I had done.

"Good morning, Eren. Would you like to eat some breakfast?"

"Oh, it's okay. I'm not that hungry."

"At least have some coffee."

I didn't argue. Knowing her, she would force a cup of coffee to me whether I like it or not. I just nodded and she gestured for me to follow her and I did. She already has a cup prepared and she gave it to me. I muttered a "Thanks" before I took a sip, keeping my gaze down, looking anywhere except her.

"I talked to him yesterday." My eyes darted to look at her, meeting her eyes immediately. "He cried in front of me. I never saw him like that before. And I hope that that would be the last time."

She gave me a serious look which made me gulp. Levi looks a lot like her mother so it's like I'm looking at him right now. "I won't lie and tell you that I don't feel even a little anger at you but that's only natural. I'm his mother and I will do anything to protect him. I don't want him to be hurt and if taking him away from you would resolve that, I would do it without a second thought. But the thing is, I can't. Even though he's crying because of you, he still loves you. And that means that he'll be sadder if I take him away from you. So now, I'm just hoping that you will fix the mess that you made. I'm going to tell you this: hurt him once more and you're good as dead meat." A smile appeared on her face but her eyes still hold the threat. "Is that clear, Eren?"

"Y-yes."

"Good." 

The doorbell rang and caught our attention. We went to the living room and she opened the door, revealing Armin. She let Armin in and offered him coffee in which he politely accepted. When she gave him his cup, we started drinking in silence, only talking when we're asking something or answering. As soon as we finished our cup of coffee, we decided to go home and bid our goodbyes before leaving. When we entered the car, Armin is the first one to talk.

"What are you planning to do now? Are you going to make a move?"

"Yeah, I'll fix the mess I made. I'll make sure that eveything will be fine again."

*****

Days passed by as I think of what I am going to do when I ask for Levi's forgiveness. I went to the café that Levi's family owned to talk with Mikasa. I arrived ten minutes earlier and I went to the corner of the café wherethere are only a few people. It didn't take long until Mikasa arrived and sat in front of me.

"What do you want to talk about?"

I couldn't help but flinch at the presence of hostility in her voice. I sighed and composed myself, sitting up straight and looking at her straight in the eyes. "I want to make up with Levi."

Her expression didn't change. It still remained blank and I can't help but start to get a little nervous. What if she deny me from meeting Levi? 

"So?"

I suddenly became confused at her answer. "Huh?"

"Why are you telling me that? Am I Levi?"

"N-no. No, you're not but—"

"Eren. I already told this to Armin and I'm going to say it to you. Levi's going to be the one who will make that decision, not me, not Mom— it's Levi. I was mad at you for what you did to him but I already forgave you. No need to be stressed out."

A grin crept its way to my face. At least she's not mad at me. "Thank you, Mikasa. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Neither do I. Now, I think you should go start preparing your plan."


	35. Love Me or Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue.

**Levi's POV**

I woke up with a throbbing ache in my head. I let out a groan when I sat up and ran my hand through my hair, closing my eyes in hopes that it will help the fucking pain to go away. Not even a minute had passed when my eyes shot wide open to immediately checked my surroundings. I'm in my room, sitting in my own fucking bed. How the fuck did that happened? I'm drinking lots of alcohol last night and after that... I can't fucking remember anything.

Suddenly it felt like someone just kicked me in the stomach and an acid-y feeling started to burn my throat. Knowing what's about to happen, I quickly got off of my bed and sprinted towards the bathroom just in time before I barf all of my intestines to the toilet.

Cold sweat started to form on my face as the alcohol induced sickness rolled all over me again. I flushed the toilet before leaning back on the wall and closed my eyes, digging my mind for any scrap of memory last night. It didn't take long until the memories came like a flash flood and it filled my mind, my stomach starting to kick in once again. I was with drinking with Farlan and Isabel, they asked me if I wanted to dance in which I declined. A guy came to me and tried to flirt-in which he fucking sucks. My intoxicated self lost all of its strength and failed to defend myself from the fucker until a guy came to help me. A guy with a tall, lean body, a mop of chocolate brown hair and a pair of capturing turquoise eyes, Eren.

I flushed the toilet after that and shakily stood up, walking to the sink to look at my face the mirror. I looked so stressed. The dark circles under my eyes got darker and larger than ever, my hair sticking in all directions. Shit, I'm still wearing the same clothes I had since last night. I washed my face with cold water before stripping out of my clothes.

Grabbing a towel and taking a shower. I rested my head against the wall and let the cold water run down my body, a voice starting to ring inside my head.

 _"Levi..."_ I don't know if my mind is playing games with me, but I can hear his voice. I closed my eyes tighter, willing the voice to go away. I don't need him to haunt me, I don't need to hear that sultry voice of his, to see that perfect face- not now that I'm deciding whether to give him another chance or not. A rather dazed memory flashed inside my head; Eren carrying me, my drunk self nuzzling his neck. The memories kept on flashing making my head ache worse.  _"I want to have you again, to be with you again but I don't think that I should."_

I let out another groan as his voice continued to ring inside my head, the sound of his cries, the sound of him being so broken and full of regret and guilt.  _"I'm sorry for what I've done. I hope that you can give me another chance because I... I love you so fucking much, Levi."_

Another blurry flashed and I remember stopping him from leaving, him laying in my bed and wrapping me inside his caring arms. I can still feel the softness of his lips in my forehead and his comforting warmth. I let out a sigh and focused on cleaning myself up before I went out and get dressed, leaving my room and went down to the kitchen.

I saw my mother cooking some bacon and eggs, the toasts already been served on the table. She turned around to greet me, probably hearing the noises that I made. "Good morning, Levi. Are you not feeling well?"

I sat down and propped my elbows on the table, leaning my head on my palms. "My head feels like it's being split in half."

"That's not surprising since you came home very, very wasted last night. Wait, let me rephrase that, Eren carried your wasted self home last night." She let out a small laugh as she took the strips of bacon out of the pan and placing it on a plate before serving it.

"Did he went home after that?"

"No, he slept in your room."

My eyes widen at what she said. So all of those things are true?

She seemed to notice my reaction and she eyed me curiously. "Why? Did something happen?"

"No." I let out a tired sigh and ran my hands through my hair. I just woke up but all I wanted to do is to sleep again. "Nothing happened."

"Is that why you're acting like that? Because you wanted something to happen?" I glared at her and she laughed again. "Geez, Levi. Loosen up, you'll grow old faster than me if you keep acting that way."

"I really would if you won't stop telling those kind of jokes."

"Okay, just eat and drink this Advil for your headache, Levi."

I did what she told me and went back to my room as soon as I finished eating. I laid down in my bed while facing the ceiling, the memories of Eren last night becoming clearer inside my mind. Another storm of emotions and thoughts took over me, overwhelming me in a way that slowly starts to become unbearable.

I closed my eyes and silently hoped for all of this to just end.

*****

Another week has passed and nothing still changed. All I did was sleep, eat, take a shower and shit, stare at the ceiling and think. Think fucking over and over and over again. I never left our house, I just isolated myself inside my room, the only place that I considered as my safe haven until that shitty brat invaded it. The memories of him being in here was all I can see and it's like I'm trapped, trapped inside him like I always were not able to find any way to escape. Every single fucking thing reminds me of him and it feels like toxic.

I never heard anything about him once again after that night and his voice saying those three words to me still remained inside my mind. I don't know what's going inside his mind, if he really did give up on me like I wished before but now, that thought sent unwanted shivers throughout my body. I wanted him to try again, to make up for all of his mistakes. I don't want to lose him forever, but I won't make the first damn move to fix everything.

I reached out to my nightstand to grab my phone, checking it and saw that there's only one message and if I'm not being unlucky then I don't fucking know what it is. The message came from Shitty Glasses and I don't know if I should be glad about it. I reluctantly tapped it and read.

 ** _Shitty Glasses:_**   _Hey, Shorty_ _. Want to hang out? I haven't seen you since last week. Just want to know if you're fine. If you want to, just go at your mother's cafe later at five. I'm hoping to see you later._

"Just want to know if you're fine, huh?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes, checking the time before returning my phone back to the nightstand. I decided to do something productive and stress-relieving today- cleaning. I got up and put a plain white bandanna to cover my mouth from the brain cell-killing bleach before I went down to get the cleaning supplies downstairs. I started by dusting, vacuuming, and scrubbing every inch and corner of the house. It took hours before I was finished, leaving the house thoroughly cleaned.

I went back to my room and checked the time, there's only an hour left before five. Maybe I'll go talk with them. They may be crazy but they offered the best advice.

I took a bath and cleaned myself, get dressed and went out. The drive from the house to the cafe isn't long and it only took ten minutes before I got to the place. I parked my car and went inside, my eyes scanning the place to see them. I saw them at their usual place, in a corner at the back of the place, giving people much more privacy. I saw Erwin with them and I made myself a cup of tea before I went to them.

Like they sensed my presence, Shitty Glasses looked around and their eyes widen when they saw me, their eyes lighting up and a grin was on their face. "Levi! I thought that you wouldn't come!"

I sat down on the seat in front of them. I set down my tea on the table and glared at them. "Can you lower your fucking voice, Shitty Glasses?"

They just grinned at me and took a sip of their coffee. I looked at Erwin who's beside me and gave them a nod. "Hey."

They nod back and smiled before I returned my attention to my tea. I took a couple of sips before I felt Hanji burning holes through my skull. "The fuck are you looking at?"

"You."

"Duh. As if that wasn't obvious." I rolled my eyes before pointedly looking at them. "Just fucking ask if you're going to ask."

"What are you planning to do with Eren?"

"Hanji-"

I raised a hand to cut Erwin off. "No, Erwin. It's alright." I looked back at Hanji and saw them giving me a serious look. I looked down and cupped the container of my tea. "I don't know."

"Levi, to be honest, I think that you should just stop hurting yourself and Eren. It's pretty obvious that you love him but you're just too scared. What-"

Erwin slammed his hand on the table, cutting Hanji off once again. "Hanji, stop it. Let him take his time to decide."

"Erwin, I know that you love Levi, but can't you see how hard this is for him? If he wouldn't decide sooner, he's just going to make himself suffer more."

Hanji, can't YOU see how deep Eren hurt Levi? He doesn't deserve him, Hanji. He don't-"

"Can the both of you stop fighting?!" My voice came out louder than what I intended to. I let out a stressed sigh when they stopped. "Look, I'm very torn in between right now. It's not that fucking easy to make a decision like that. Now, can we just talk about other things?"

They muttered they apologies and started talking about other things like they didn't have a fight just a few minutes ago. I tried to listen but I always found myself spacing out, Hanji's words drilling inside my mind.

Am I really just making this fucking hard for the both of us? Am I making Eren suffer because of my shitty indecisiveness? Would it have been alright all along if not for me?

My mind is clouded by various thoughts and what if's that I didn't notice the time passing. I was only cut off from my train of thoughts when Hanji poked my cheek.

"You okay there, Shorty?"

"Yeah."

I know that they didn't believe me but they left it at that in which I am thankful for. I took my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. It's already past eight in the evening and I noticed that there's three missed call which went to voicemail. I frowned at my phone as I started to unlock it, feeling my heart started to pound in my chest when I saw it all came from Eren.

My hands started shaking as I started to tap and listen to his message.

_"Hey, Levi. I don't know if you want to talk to me but I'll still try anyway. Go to the park at six, I'll be waiting for you."_

_"Levi, I'm here. I'm waiting for you. Please hear me out. I wanted to see you."_

_"Levi, please. Give me another chance. I want to see you. God, I miss you so damn much. Please go here... I'll be waiting."_

I almost dropped my phone at how hard my hands are shaking. The last message came in an hour ago. My eyes went wide and I started to panic. Shit, what if he already left? What if he got tired and give up? No... No, I won't allow that. My breathing started to become uneven and Hanji looked at me in worry.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Eren..."

"What's with Eren?"

"I-I need to go. I need to meet him"

I quickly stood up and sprinted to the door, not bothering to look back when Hanji and Erwin called me. I quickly went to my car and got inside, starting up the engine and started driving fast like I would die if I didn't. In which I highly believe that I fucking would.

While I'm on my way it started to rain and I'm still a bit far from the place. My hope that Eren's still there waiting slowly started to crumble as the cloud's piss continue to fall down and continue to make the place dark and cold, just like what my heart's condition is now. Who would wait for someone in the dark for three hours especially in a rainy night? No one. Even an idiot would have enough sense to stop waiting and go home.

I drove faster, not in the right mind to consider the wet and slippery road. I didn't know how long it took until I arrived the place. I just hurriedly went out of the car and search for him, letting the cold rain soaked me.

"Eren!"

No one responded. My hope completely crumbled, the tears that I've been holding back since earlier finally rolled down, the fragments of what's left of my heart feeling like it's being shattered a million times again. My knees gave up and I was now kneeling on the ground, crying my pathetic heart out as an overwhelming pain took over me.

This is the end. He thought that I don't want him anymore. I can't do anything to fix anything between us again. What was left of us will only be remembered and soon forgotten, what's waiting for us ahead will only be buried by the mistakes that broke us. The sobs that came out of my mouth was so broken, so hopeless and defeated. I love him. I love him so fucking much.

I gasp for air as my breathing started to become hard, my lungs aching as well as my heart. I raised my hand over my chest and gripped my shirt hard. I want to rip my heart out to stop all of this pain.

Then suddenly there was no rain that's hitting my skin. I looked up and saw him looking down at me, the smile on his face warming the cold world that's surrounding us. He held out his hand that is not holding the umbrella and it feels like my heart started to fix itself again. I took his hand in mine and he hoisted me up, the smile on his face never leaving.

"Eren..."

"I thought that you'll never come. I thought that you'll leave me here waiting."

I wrapped my arms around him, letting myself sob on his chest. His warmth coaxed me into comfort, his heartbeat making my own heart pump and be alive despite its damage. He stayed stiff for a moment before he slowly relaxed, using his free hand to hug me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have broke up with you I-"

He cut me off with a kiss and I can't stop myself from crying again. The kiss was soft but I can feel all of his longing and love as he moved his lips against mine. It lasted until I broke it to gasp for air and without missing a beat, he knelt down, leaving the umbrella forgotten in the ground.

"Levi, I wanted you to know how sorry I am for everything I've done. I'm sorry for being a shitty brat who can't see how much I caused you pain despite all of the things you did for me, for not trusting you and making you fed up with all of the shits I've done. I knew that I fucked up the moment I saw you cry that night, the moment you told me every single thing that you're keeping to yourself. I know that my life was broken the moment you asked for that last kiss, the moment that I watched you walked away. I knew that I made the biggest mistake in my life- the mistake of breaking you into a million pieces.

"My life isn't the same without you in it Levi, without you telling me how much of a brat I am, how much of an idiot I am. I miss hearing all of your sarcastic remarks, hell, I even miss all of your shit jokes. I miss hearing your voice, hearing you telling me those three words. I miss your calming presence, your scent, everything. I knew that I'm not worthy of you. You're too perfect for me but I can't stop myself from wanting you. I can't stop myself from dreaming to have you by my side 'til the day we die, to sleep and wake up next to you. I want all of you to myself, Levi. And I'm sorry but I can't stop loving you. I won't stop loving you even if I die."

He stood up and wrapped one of his arm around my waist while the other one cupped my cheek, his thumb caressing it leaving warmth in its wake. I couldn't help but lean it, letting myself be pulled into him like he always do. He's like a labyrinth and I'm trapped in it, couldn't find any way escape. The more I try to leave, the more I am getting lost. He stared at me with his turquoise eyes and it feels like I'm melting under his gaze. I once again got lost in those sea of stars in his eyes, and I found myself falling deeper and deeper again.

"I know that I'm not worth it but... I would like to give it a try. I know that it wouldn't be perfect, there will be struggles and something will always hinder us on our way, but I know that if I'm with you all of those are nothing. I know that we will make it this time around, and I will always be beside you. So please, Levi, can you let me in again?"

I stared at him completely speechless. This is what I've been waiting for for all of those days. This is what my shattered heart is begging to hear. This is what I've been wanting since the day that I thought that I lost him.

My tears started to run down my cheeks again. I knew that he's also crying by the way he gasp for air, the way his shoulder shake.

"Levi, please, answer me..."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and grabbed a fistful of hair, pulling him down for a kiss. A warmth erupted inside me the moment his warm, soft lips met mine, and I couldn't help the shiver that run throughout me when his tongue entered my mouth.

It feels like we're the only ones in the whole fucking world and I let myself reveled in the sounds of the rain, his warmth, his taste, his everything. When he broke the kiss I pulled him down again, not wanting his lips to leave mine. After a few more minutes, I'm the one who broke away and I leaned my forehead against his chest.

"Eren, I- I love you. I want to start again."

I looked up and saw him looking at me with wide eyes before it slowly turned into a wide grin to the point that I thought his lips will break. He kissed me once again in vigor and he put all of his emotions into it, happiness and love.

We broke the kiss and stared at each other before he told me to wait. He went to his car and took something, returning to where I am and giving me a bouquet of red and white flowers, just like wat he gave me last time. I can't help but smile as I took it.

"You do fucking know that you're such a sappy, shitty brat, right?"

He chuckled and pecked my lips. "But I'm your sappy, shitty brat."

I gently pushed him by the chest and rolled my eyes, the smile on my lips never leaving. "You better be sure about that."

He grinned again and hugged me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear before I heard that three words that I've been longing to hear for what felt like centuries.

"I love you, Levi."

"I love you too, Eren."

It felt good to hear and say that once again. He leaned down for a kiss but before it happened, I raised my hand to stop him.

"What?" He pouted and I chuckled.

"Love me or leave me, brat."

He smiled warmly at me and it somehow made the dark, cold, cruel world around us a bright, happy and hopeful place.

"I already made that decision long ago. I love you, Levi and I'll never leave."


	36. Epilogue

**Levi's POV**

Days, weeks and years came by and went on, time seems to fly faster when you're happy.

It's been years since Eren and I got into a relationship and after all the shits that happened back then, we're going strong. There are still some fights but we didn't let a single day pass without us fixing it.

I'm currently working as a psychiatrist much to almost everyone's surprise. Eren, on the other hand, is still studying to become a doctor to follow his father's step. He isn't forced to do it since he told me that he has the passion for it since he was a kid. I just told him not to be like his father who is always missing in action in which he always answer with, "Don't worry, I'll be the best husband who ever existed" and a laugh. No matter how many times I heard it, it still has an unknown effect to me which always made a fuzzy feeling inside me.

I looked at him from my place on the couch inside our bedroom and saw him sprawled out on the bed in which I just fixed. I frowned at the sight and set my book down.

"Oi, Eren."

He sat up and looked at me sleepily. "Hmm?"

"You're messing the bed."

He rolled his eyes and laid down again, rolling and completely messing my sheets.

"The fuck do you think you're doing, brat? Stop that or I'm going to throw you out."

He didn't stop and continued rolling. Why is he acting like a fucking kid? I stood up and walked to him, my footsteps heavy. I caught his hand and started to pull him up but he forced me down, instantly wrapping his arms around me.

"Oi, let go of me."

"No, I want to hold you longer."

"There are plenty of things that I need to do."

"Like what?"

"Cleaning."

He let out a chuckle and tighten his arms around me. I shifted myself and faced his chest, inhaling his piney scent before sighing in content. "Let's just stay like this for a minute."

I didn't protest since I know that the fucking brat won't let go of me anyways. I sighed and leaned in closer, letting him rest his chin on the top of my head. After he graduated high school, we decided to live together. It's quite hard at first but we got used to it and later on enjoyed the privacy. I let the silence consume us and I closed my eyes, ready to try and clear my mind from anything when the brat suddenly sat up and looked at me with wide eyes like he just saw a fucking ghost or something.

"Levi! There's only a week left until your birthday!"

I rolled my eyes and buried my face to the pillow. "It's just a birthday, brat. Don't fret over it."

He stood up and went to get some clothes before he ran to the bathroom without another word. I frowned as I continued to stare at the white door of the bathroom. What the hell is the brat stressing about? It's just a birthday for fuck's sake. Ignoring the weirdness of my bratty boyfriend, I buried my face in the pillow and waited for him to finish.

It didn't take long until I heard the door opened and Eren went out, wearing a black sweater and pants. He took his coat and went to me, kissing my lips.

"I'm going somewhere. I need to do some business. I'll be back before dinner."

He grabbed his phone and car keys which are rested on the nightstand before pecking my lips again and leaving. Eren left the room in a hurry and I watched, not having any clue about what fucking business he is doing. Brushing it off, I stood up and fixed the bed before taking the book I've been reading earlier and leaving the room. All of the hours left was spent by reading and cleaning and Eren arrived as soon as I finished cooking.

He removed his boots and coat, walking towards me and giving me a peck. "Hey, Levi."

 "You're just in time, brat. Dinner's ready."

We went to the dining room and sat down on our usual places. While we're eating in silence, my curiosity got the best of me and I paused eating.

"Eren."

He looked up from his food and raised both of his eyebrows. "What is it?"

"What is that business you're doing? Care to give me some details?"

"Oh." He set his utensils down and placed one of his hand over mine which is rested on the table. "It's nothing, Levi. When the right time comes, I'll tell you."

"You better not be fucking cheating on me, brat."

He chuckled and leaned over me, giving my lips another soft peck. "I don't and never will."

With that I left the topic alone and we proceeded on.

*****

For the past few days, Eren's always away from home even though it's their winter break. He's always telling me that he's doing some "business" again and again each fucking time I ask him. I would always demand a single damn clue but the shitty brat wouldn't give me anything. It's fucking frustrating— he may be cheating for all I fucking know— and the brat has never been this secretive.

Huffing, I ignored the knowing look on Hanji's face and started drinking my tea again. We were on our cafe, talking about how life's been going since this shitface right here can't last a week without bugging me.

"Looks like Shorty has a problem."

I glared at them and kicked their leg. "Shut the fuck up if you don't want to have a problem yourself."

Rolling their eyes, they propped their elbow on the table and rested their chin on their palm. "I know that something's bugging you because if not, you wouldn't have went here without me forcing you to go."

Sighing, I shifted my gaze outside, avoiding eye contact from them. "I think Eren's cheating on me."

What happened next is the least thing I expected them to react. Instead of getting worried, asking me how I came too that fucking foolish conclusion, they laughed so hard to the point where they're clutching their stomach, with tears at the corner of their eyes while gasping for air.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?"

They stopped laughing, still heaving from their breathlessness. I glared at them, waiting for their answer.

"What made you think that he's cheating?"

"The brat's always away even though it's winter break, he's always avoids talking about that fucking business he's always too busy with, fuck, he's even hiding his phone away from me! What would you fucking expect me to think?"

"Maybe he's just planning something."

"Yeah, planning to move in with whoever he's cheating with."

"Calm yourself, Levi. Even though you always call him a brat, he would never do something like that to you."

"Why does it feels like you're siding with him? Do you know anything about what that fucking business is?"

They giggled and wiggled their eyebrows in a playful manner. "Maybe."

"Fuck you."

*****

A day before Christmas and my birthday, Eren stayed home most of the day. He only left for an hour and helped me cook the foods for Christmas Eve. Mom, Mikasa, Armin, Erwin and Hanji will all be here tonight since we decided to celebrate it together.

I just finished washing my hands when Eren hugged me from behind, nuzzling into my neck lovingly.

"I missed you."

I rolled my eyes and remove his hands from my waist. "Tch, you were the one who's always outside."

"Sorry, okay? I'm doing something really important."

"It's  _that_  important to the point where you're almost ignoring me?"

"Sorry, Levi, really. I'm going to tell you what is it tonight. Promise."

"Whatever."

He smiled and kissed me until we heard the doorbell rang.

"Oops." He walked to the living room and I followed, watching him open the door. Mom and Mikasa are standing outside with a smile on their faces. Eren moved out of the way and held the door open for them, my mother walking straight to me.

"Levi, I miss you."

"It's only been a month, Mom."

She hugged me and I returned the gesture, making it last for almost a minute before she pulled away. Mikasa gave me a nod in which I returned. "Still short as always."

"Shut up, Mika."

I saw Eren trying to hold back his laugh behind her. I glared at him and immediately stopped. After a few more minutes Armin arrived and then Erwin and Hanji.

They placed all of their gifts in the living room, settling themselves on the couches as we talked about what's new. After hours of talking, we went to the dining room to eat until our stomachs are full. I saw Eren talking suspiciously with Armin and Mikasa, sometimes he even whispers something to Mom and I would see her smiling before throwing a glance at me.

We were casually talking in the living room when Eren suddenly stood up. He excused the both of us and led me to our room, grabbing his car keys and giving me my coat. I gave him a confused look and he pecked my lips before saying, "Wear it, we're going somewhere."

I did what he told me and we left our house. Eren drove away, the way we're taking is familiar to me.

"What are we going to do at the riverside, Eren?"

Without removing his eyes from the road, he answered, "Just wait, Levi." I stayed silent after that, starting up the stereo to provide a little entertainment. I kept my gaze outside, watching as the snow fall down. 

As soon as we arrived, Eren took his flashlight and went out, walking to my side to open the door for me. He pulled me into the woods without a word and before I knew it, we're making our way to the riverside we always went to every anniversary. Just like the first time we went here, Eren blindfolded me and carried me to the riverside. I don't know why but I feel like there's something that's going to happen.

When Eren set me down and my feet met the ground, he removed the blindfold but he kept the blocked the view using his body.

"I'm going to show you what kept me busy for the past few days."

He side stepped and my eyes widen at what I saw. The river was froze because of the cold, the snow covering the usual green land of the riverside in white. The place was being lightened up by candles that are encased in glass cases, making the place glow in a romantic way. Petals of red roses was scattered along the place, complimenting the whiteness of the snow.

I turned around and saw Eren holding his guitar— I don't know where the hell that came from—and he started strumming it.

 _The best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting_  
Could it be that we have been this way before?  
I know you don't think that I am trying  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

I watched him in awe, letting my ears be pleasured by his voice. Despite hearing it too many times, it still has the same effect on me. He continued singing with a smile, my eyes never leaving his face.

 _This is not what I intended_  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

I let myself absorb each and every word he sang to me and I can't help the heat that started to form on my face. What is this brat's planning?

 _So breathe in so deep_  
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep  
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap  
And remember me tonight when you're asleep  

I know that you're mine to keep, brat. If not, I wouldn't have stayed beside you after all these years. Despite how sappy it is, I can't help but smile at the effort the brat made.

 _Tonight will be the night_  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a boy like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find  

He ended the song with a strum, looking at me straight in the eye with a nervous smile on his face. He set his guitar down on the snow covered ground before standing up and giving me a slow kiss. He took a step back and deep breaths before staring at me again, a serious look settled on his face and eyes.

"Levi, I know that after this, I don't think that I'll have enough courage to say the things that I'm going to say so please listen." He took another deep breath before he knelt in front of me. My eyes widen and my breath was caught in my lungs.

"E-Eren."

"Levi, I know that we've been through a lot since the beginning. I almost died and forgot everything about us, we fought and we broke up but up until now you're still with me. You never get tired of me despite the shits I had put you through. And now, I wanted to prove to you how thankful I am for having you."

He took out something from his coat's pocket and tears started to flow down from my eyes when I saw him holding a box, a silver band with studs of emerald stones inside it. He held it with both hands, looking up at me.

"I wanted to show you how much I love you, Levi. I know that I already told you this a hundred times but I'm going to say it again. I want to be beside you forever. To grow old and die beside you. To face the future while holding your hand. You're the only one that I ever wanted and I won't get tired of saying these things to you until my life is gone. Levi Ackerman, would you accept this ring, my love and all of the things in the future and be my husband?"

I couldn't stop crying, my mind is still processing what he had told me. He's proposing? This is what he's been planning all along?

"Y-yes."

A wide grin crept up his lips and he stood up, taking my hand and placing the ring on its rightful place. He cupped my face with his two hands and kissed me deeply, lovingly. Both of us are crying right now because of the happiness and as soon as our lips separated, he pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you, Levi. I really do. Thank you."

"Well, I don't really mind becoming a Yeager."

He wrapped his arms around my waist once again and I wrapped my arms around his neck, staring at each other's eyes that's full of love and undescribable happiness.

"Levi Yeager, hell fucking yeah. I know that it suits you more than Ackerman."

I rolled my eyes playfully and tip toed, pecking his lips.

"I love you, Eren, until the day I die."

"I love you, Levi, up to the end of infinity."

And with that we locked our lips to seal the unspoken promise, ready to face what's waiting for us in the future. Knowing that he's beside me, I couldn't get anymore happier.

 

 

_**The End.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...that's it! This is the end of this book. It has been a few months over a year since I finished this. I admit that this isn't as good as the works of others, but I'm still proud of it. This was the first book that I finished, and it has helped me grow as a writer. I admit that I felt embarrassed reading some part of this, that there are things that I avoid writing in my newer works now, but I wouldn't change it for anything. This was the first thing I made as an EreRi shipper, and I'm glad that I did. I met so many amazing people in the fandom because of this.
> 
> Thank you for reading. I hope that it was worth your time. Please do check my other works if you have the time!
> 
> Just like what I say at the end of my chapters in Wattpad,
> 
> 'Til next time then!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first book ever created. I already finished it on Wattpad, and I decided to post it here. I would like to know your thoughts, you can leave a comment or kudos if you want to! I hope that you'll enjoy this story. :)


End file.
